Total Drama Tournament
by MinorDisturbance
Summary: Chris McLean brings the original 25 contestants back to the island. How dangerous will the challenges get? Will they survive? And most importantly, who's gonna win the new season of Total Drama? Pairings (just so you know what to expect): Gwuncan/Gwent triangle, Bridgeoff (I thought it was clever), Ozzy, NoCo, Alenoah, Tylinds (Again, just liked it), Chrindsay (I dunno)
1. Welcome, You Poor Suckers!

Well, I decided to make an attempt at a Total Drama fic. Hope it works out. Seeing as my holiday's almost over, it probs won't, but we'll see.

I'm gonna be using the original characters, with Alejandro, Blaineley and Sierra. Note that I have refused to watch Season 4, so there will be discontinuity.

Also, this is one of my stories, so depending on how I feel, slash may be involved. Also swearing, because I want to. I won't make the story M just because of that, because honestly, teens swear more than the average human anyway.

In my opinion (and this has been a big problem ever since Season 3 had a different ending in the USA), the Canadian endings were the real ones, so Owen, Duncan and Alejandro won the first three seasons. Of course I'm ignoring Season 4, so I dunno about that one. I believe another boy won.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Anyway, let's get started with Season 1 (of hopefully more seasons) of Total Drama Tournament!

* * *

"Season 5! After a draggingly dumbass fourth season that I really can't even remember, we decided to bring back the best of the old and the new seasons: The original people, and the original setting! ...Well, maybe it's just the old season. But anyway, we're back at Camp Wawanakwa and we're bringing it harder than ever before! Challenges that will kill at some point, and uncensored swearing! Yay! Fuck! I love the new network..."

"This time around, we'll give two million dollars to whoever wins this season. Who will make it? And who is too incompetent to even make it past the first episode? We'll see it here on Total Drama Tournament!"

"Here they are, the first contestants: The Aftermath heroes and the series zeroes: Geoff, Bridgette, Katie, Sadie, Eva and Ezekiel-"

"Hey-o, I'm here to win it! I'm gonna punch butt!" Ezekiel seemed very confident walking off the boat, until he tripped and fell flat on the ground.

"Oh my god, weren't you totally mutated?" "Oh my god, I know, right?" "Oh my god, I knew too!" Katie and Sadie ran around on the dock.

"Yeah, Chris. What happened with him? And wasn't the island polluted? It looks fine now!" Bridgette inquired as she got off the boat. Geoff tried to make out with her, but she was more curious about the island and Ezekiel than interested in smooching, leaving Geoff stuck with his tongue hanging out.

"Eh, it got better." Chris stated with a shrug. He wanted to explain, but he got interrupted by Eva stomping down the dock.

"Did you just call me a zero? I'm gonna break every bone in your body!" Chris fled behind Geoff and Bridgette, who didn't quite manage in calming Eva down.

"A-and, here's, um, some r-real wacky people: Izzy and... Whoah! Help, you guys!" Izzy cackled as she jumped off the boat, followed by Owen and Tyler.

Izzy managed to calm Eva down a bit, but she still growled at Chris, steam nearly coming out of her nose. Tyler jumped onto Owen's back as they walked on, but fell off as Owen farted, falling onto his face. Owen giggled sheepishly.

"Hey Chris! You know, I better win this time! I still... kinda need the money..." Owen said, talking in a less confident tone as Chris glared at him.

"Oh, that's okay! Zizzy Dizzy will split the prize if she wins! Wahoo!" Izzy shouted as she jumped onto Tyler, who was still lying on the ground.

"Riiight... Well, here we have some fan favorites: Gwen, Noah, Duncan and Cody!" Chris said, hoping for a few sane people.

"Woo, back at the island. Surely I'll be getting nostalgic _any_ minute now." Noah drawled as he stepped onto the dock.

Duncan tried to run onto the island as soon as the boat reached the dock, but Chris stopped him. "Whoa, steady there, delinquent. We don't want you destroying the campground just yet."

Sulking, Duncan walked back onto the dock, where a confused but bemused Gwen said: "What was that all about?" Duncan grinned at her and said: "Oh, you'll see, baby."

Cody cautiously stepped off the boat. "Sierra isn't here yet, is she?" He relaxed a bit as the other campers told him she wasn't.

"And here are the "villains" of the show-" Chris was interrupted by Noah: "Wouldn't that be you?" "Shut it! _Anyways_, here are Heather, Justin, Courtney and Alejandro." Heather and Alejandro stepped off the boat, glaring at each other.

"Heather and Alejandro haven't exactly stayed in touch after Heather kneed Alejandro in the balls and had him slide off a vulcano." Chris grinned.

"Drop dead!" "Ladies first!"

"You know, I don't see myself as a villain. I see myself as a handsome, handsome man. That's all." Justin said as he stepped off of the boat, posing. Katie and Sadie seemed stuck between gushing over Justin and Alejandro.

"And I'm hardly a villain! I just tried to win! I'm focused! I used to be a C.I.T.!" Courtney yelled, walking over the dock and pushing Duncan off in the process.

"Sure. But you still sucked. Anyways, we also have the other campers of Team Victory here: Leshawna, Harold, Lindsay and DJ!" The four campers walked over to Chris, looking at the campground apprehensively. "Do we really have to stay here again? And what about all that pollution? I ain't heard 'bout nobody cleaning that up anytime soon!" Leshawna complained. "Do you see any pollution? Everything's cool." Chris answered.

"Are you sure? Because I wouldn't want to have to deal with all those mutated animals..." DJ muttered. "Oh yeah, how's that animal curse going?" Chris inquired. "I-It's fine..."

"Did you get better showers this time? Because I got used to normal showers with massage settings and pretty lights again..." Lindsay asked. "That just wouldn't be fun, now would it?" Chris chuckled. "Forget it!"

"Good. The flimsy showers will only help me in showcasing my wicked skills at-" "Showering? You really need to lay it down, skinny legs." Leshawna stopped Harold before he had a chance to make a fool of himself again. "Hey Heather, you grew your hair back? Damn, wish I had a razor right about now..." Leshawna said, walking over to Gwen and high-fiving her, glaring at Duncan. Heather threw a death glare at the back of Leshawna's head.

"And here we have the last four campers: Trent, Beth, Blaineley and Sierra!"

"Hey guys!" Trent walked down onto the dock, before getting thrown out of the way by Sierra. "OMG, you guys, I'm totally back!" Cody yelped and hid behind Owen.

"And your hair's grown back too! That's great!" Heather said. "IKR? You are soooo right."

Beth and Lindsay reunited, jumping up and down on the dock.

Lastly, Blaineley was dragged towards the rest of the campers by two interns. "Ugh! Let go of me! Why do _I_ have to be here?"

"The question we've all been asking ourselves." Geoff muttered.

"Oh shut it, _party boy_!"

"Or what, _Mildred_?" The two spent a few moments growling at each other.

"Aww. Isn't it just great to see each other again?" Chris giggled.

"Well, anyway, before we decide teams, I've got a first challenge, for each of you individually." Katie and Sadie hugged each other tighter. "I've put a flagpole somewhere on the island. You will all have to go out and find it. The last person to touch it gets booted off immediately. And that's touch it, not kiss it, Bridgette."

"I will never live that down, will I?" Bridgette groaned.

"Hmm, no you won't. Haha! Now GO!" Chris yelled.

* * *

Gwen walked towards the forest. Almost immediately, Duncan caught up with her. "Hey, what's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?", he smirked. "Ummm... competing?" Gwen replied, looking around her for flagpoles.

"Well, hold on a sec!" Duncan said. Gwen stopped, looking at Duncan sideways. "...Why?"

"I need to show you something." He dragged her towards a tree, stopping and giving her a moment to inspect said tree.

"Didn't you already do this on Courtney's head?", she asked. The tree had "DxC" scratched on it.

"Well, I did it here too." Duncan muttered. "You're really just a big sap, aren't you?" Gwen grinned. "Hell no!" Duncan protested, reddening just a bit. "So why are you showing me this?" Gwen asked. "Because I remembered doing this back in Season One, and I needed to do..." He took out his knife and turned it into "DxG". "...this." Duncan looked at Gwen, smiling. "Not a sap at all, huh?" Gwen smirked and kissed him.

Meanwhile, Owen sat next to Blaineley, who refused to even get off the dock. "Well, why don't you want to do this challenge? Is it because you're afraid of flagpoles?", he asked. "No, you morbidly obese moron! I don't want to compete!", she answered. "Well, why not?" Owen looked around, hoping to be able to find the flagpole and talk to Blaineley at the same time. "Ugh, are you really that thick?" Blaineley yelled. "Wait, actually. Don't answer that." Owen sighed.

Lindsay and Beth walked around together. "Where do you think the flagpole is?" Lindsay asked. "Umm... I dunno..." Beth looked at Lindsay with a blank stare. "Oh, but how are we gonna find it then?" Lindsay moaned.

"Hey, Lindsay! Wait up!" Tyler ran towards the two. About four feet from the two, he tripped over a branch on the ground and fell. He landed right in front of Lindsay's feet. Lindsay gasped and bent over to help him get up.

"Tyler! Are you okay?" "Well, you remember me, so that's a start..." Lindsay just giggled and walked along the path they were on, with Tyler and Beth following.

"Maybe we should just walk along the beach..." Bridgette said, turning around to look at Geoff. "Hmm, maybe. But what if the flagpole is literally at the other end of the island?", he answered. Bridgette sighed. "This is just like when we had to find that suitcase after Season One!" Bridgette noted. "Yeah, except we were making out then..." Geoff said, wiggling his eyebrows seductively. "Not now, Geoff." Bridgette said. She then saw Courtney walking towards the two. "Oh, hey Courtney!"

Courtney smiled, happy to have found someone who doesn't dislike her. "Hey! Um, can I look with you guys?" Bridgette smiled. "Of course you can! We were gonna walk along the beach." Geoff raised an eyebrow for two reasons, the first being that apparently they _were_ gonna walk along the beach, and the second being that they were gonna walk with Courtney. "Well, while I respect that idea, I think we should..." She then continued to rattle off a long reasoning of why they should search somewhere else, making sure to include the fact that she used to be a C.I.T. several times.

"Oh my god, we're totally lost again!" "Oh my god, this so wasn't my fault this time!" "Oh my god, It wasn't my fault either!" The two walked around aimlessly for a while, until they ran into Alejandro. "Ladies, would you be so kind as to join me in my search for the flagpole?" he said, making sure to be as charming as possible.

"Katie, can we talk for a sec?" Sadie dragged Katie away. "Oh my god, this guy is evil, remember! We can't join him!", she said, pointing a finger at Katie. "Oh my god, yeah, but look at him! He is so dreamy!" Katie swooned. "Oh my god, I know, but he's heinous beyond words! We'll go on without..." As she talked, she looked at Alejandro, who had taken his shirt off. "Ohhh... Okay then!" Sadie squealed, and the girls ran towards a smirking Alejandro.

"Oh god, all the memories! Ugh, this place is so gross!" Heather walked through the woods, repressing the urge to vomit, preferrably onto one of the cameras.

She groaned as she thought of all the bad memories. 'Stuck with 21 dumb people, and later joined by three more, disgusting food, a complete lack of both comfort and privacy, terrible showers (Lindsay wasn't wrong on that account), life-threatening challenges, and worst of all, the removal of my hair.' Maybe she shouldn't try to find the flagpole. '...Maybe I shouldn't win 2 million dollars...' Heather groaned again, knowing that Chris knew she wasn't going anywhere.

"Hold up, skinny legs!" Harold stopped walking and turned around. Leshawna caught up with him. "Maybe we could use some of your... _wicked skills_ here." Harold smiled. "I think so too. I'm sure I'll be the first one to find the pole. With these glasses, I have the eyes of a hawk. That's the animal with the best eyesight in the world. That's in the daylight at least. In the nighttime it's the Great Horned Owl. I learned that at-" "You know what, how 'bout you just look and don't talk."

"Guys! Wait up!" Cody ran over to Eva and Noah, who were walking through the woods. They both turned around, slightly irritated. "Yes, Cody?" Noah did not need Cody being annoying and paranoid. Then again, he kinda got why Cody would be paranoid. Sierra was _psycho_. "Can you guys make sure Sierra doesn't get near me?" Cody asked, shivering. "Forget it, Cody. You're on your own here." Eva said, turning around to look for the flagpole again.

"Hold on, Eva." Noah stopped her, symphatising with Cody just a little bit. "We can take him with us. Just don't slow us down." "Sure! No prob!" Cody sighed in relief.

"Hey guys! Have you seen Cody?" Sierra popped up. Eva pushed Cody behind a tree. "I don't think so.", she said, nervously looking around. "Actually, I'm fairly sure he went skinny dipping at the beach." Noah said. Sierra squee'd and ran off at a frightening speed. "Why the skinny dipping part?" Cody asked as he walked from behind the tree. "To get her away faster." Noah smirked. "It worked, didn't it?"

"Hey, honey?" Geoff grabbed Bridgette's arm, pulling her back from where she was walking besides Courtney. "Yes?", she asked, looking at Geoff. "Why did you invite Courtney along?", he asked. "Well, she doesn't have a lot of friends here anymore, and I really don't mind her that much..." Bridgette answered. "Hmm. Well, okay then." Geoff muttered, clearly not happy with it yet.

Katie and Sadie hopped behind Alejandro, giggling. "Girls, could you check inside that cave for me?" "Oh my god, of course, Alejandro!", the two said in unison. They ran inside the cave. Instead of finding the flagpole there, they found Justin, who was looking for the flagpole in there as well.

"Hey, girls." Sadie squealed. "Would you girls want to join me and look for the flagpole together?" he asked. Sadie giggled and nodded immediately, but Katie dragged her away. "Oh my god, he was a bad guy too! We can't join the both of them!" Katie complained. "Yeah, but Justin wasn't that bad! And look at him!" Katie obliged, sneaking a peek at the muscled teenager. Who had taken his shirt off. "Ohhh, of course!" The two started hopping behind Justin as he walked out of the cave, where Alejandro was waiting.

"Girls, what are you doing?" Alejandro asked, peering at Justin. "Oh my god, uhhh..." Katie couldn't figure out what to say. "Simple. They chose me over you." Justin smirked. "Impossible. Girls, you couldn't reject this, could you?" Alejandro said to the girls, taking his shirt off again. The girls stood between the two shirtless boys.

A Hot-off had just begun.

"OMG, you guys, have you seen Cody?" Sierra asked Lindsay, who she had found at the beach, along with Beth and Tyler. "No, I don't think so..." Lindsay said, slowly. "Cody's the one with the mohawk, right?" "No, Lindsay, that's Duncan!" Beth said. "But wasn't Duncan the cute one with the headband?" Lindsay said. "No Lindsay, that's me!" Tyler groaned. "Oh yeah!" Lindsay giggled. "But then who is Cody?"

"Only the cutest boy EVER!" Sierra screamed. "So you're Cody?" Lindsay asked Tyler. "Nooo!" Tyler tried to explain it all again, but Beth interrupted him. "It's better to just give her some time. Anyway, we haven't seen Cody." "But Noah said he was skinny dipping at the beach!" Sierra said. "Skinny dipping? While there's a challenge going on? I don't think Cody would do that..." Tyler said. "But then Noah lied!" Sierra exclaimed. "Yeah, he did." Tyler said, rolling his eyes.

DJ stood in a clearing in the woods, sobbing hysterically. He had tried to break the curse, but nothing worked. And look at him now! He had already made a tree fall onto two rabbits, and he had stepped on a snake's head. He wasn't competing, no way. He was just gonna wait in the safe clearing until everybody had touched the pole before him. It was gonna be bye bye for him. For sure.

Trent walked onto the clearing as well to find DJ sitting there alone and unmoving. "Hey DJ, what's up? Why aren't you looking for the flagpole?" "The curse isn't broken, Trent. I'm still hurting all those poor animals!" "Oh, wow. Why didn't you tell Chris?" Trent asked. "Are you crazy? Chris would fling hundreds of animals at me. No way I'm telling him." DJ answered, horrified at the idea. "But didn't you just indirectly tell him anyway?" The realisation hit DJ. "OH GOD, WHY?", he yelled, raising his fists towards the sky. Instantly, a goat, a cat and a squirrel fell onto his fists, hurting them. "Why...WHY?" DJ cried.

* * *

"You know, once I win the money, I'll make sure this entire show gets cancelled. I'm sure two million dollars can do that. And I'll just sue the network if that doesn't work. So anyway... Look! There's the flagpole!" Courtney yelled. "Oh my god, you're right! We won!" Bridgette squealed. Geoff instantly grabbed her and kissed her passionately while Courtney ran over to the pole and touched it. "Yes!" Bridgette and Geoff moved over to the pole and touched it while making out.

"Well, girls? Who are you gonna go with?" Alejandro asked. "I don't want to put any pressure on you. I'm a nice guy." Justin argued. The two girls were starting to panic, when suddenly they heard Courtney yelling. The four looked at each other and then ran towards the noise.

"OMG! Did you hear that! OMG, OMG, OMG! Let's go!" Sierra screeched. "Yeah!" Tyler yelled out, running towards the source of the noise. He managed to trip over a branch every five seconds. "Come on, Tyler, we haven't got all day!" Beth said. Sierra was already gone. "Wait, why are we running towards Courtney?" Lindsay asked. "Because she found the flagpole!" Beth answered, patiently enough. "...So?" "Listen, Linds. If we get to the flagpole, we're still in the game!" "OH! Well, let's go then!" Lindsay giggled.

Eva, Noah and Cody made it to the flagpole next, seeing as they were already close. "Jesus, woman, did you know steroids shouldn't be taken for breakfast?" Noah said in between breaths. "Well, it would certainly help you." Eva retaliated. "Thanks for helping me out guys, I really appreciate it." Cody squeaked. "No problem, Cody." Noah said, walking away. "Eh, whatever." Eva said, also walking away. Cody grinned for a second, before he had to hide behind Geoff and Bridgette, seeing as Sierra showed up. His hiding place was too flimsy however, as Sierra picked him right up and hugged him. "So there you are!" She squealed. She then glared at Noah. She ran to touch the flagpole, and made sure Cody did so as well. Eva and Noah touched the flagpole, laughing at Cody.

"Well, looks like your hawk-eyes got us _lost_." Leshawna and Harold had heard Courtney yell, vaguely. So they ran as fast as they could (which, in Leshawna's case especially, wasn't fast) to make sure they wouldn't get there last. But the both of them didn't really pick up where the noise came from exactly, and they were now in the middle of the woods. "Well, maybe if _someone_ had been faster..." Harold retorted. "Well, maybe if _yo'_ skinny little legs hadn't made you trip over themselves..." Leshawna fired back. Harold sighed. "This isn't working. We shouldn't fight." Leshawna looked down, playing with a pebble, kicking it with her foot. "I guess you're right..." Harold smiled and went in for a kiss. At that moment, Sierra's squealing could be clearly heard nearby. "Was that stalker girl? We might still win this! Let's go!" Harold sighed again as Leshawna ran off. "Gosh."

"Hurry! If we get to the flagpole last, one of us will be booted off!" Gwen yelled. They had been fairly close to where Courtney had been yelling, but Duncan seemed more interested in making out than in winning. "Whoa, didn't you wanna have some fun, babe?" Duncan smirked while running along. "I certainly don't want to turn into the new Geoff and Bridgette..." Gwen looked back at Duncan, with an eyebrow raised. "But that wouldn't be that bad, would it?" Duncan wiggled his eyebrows. Gwen just rolled her eyes as they reached the flagpole.

Courtney saw them coming and instantly ran towards them. "Hah! I won! I got here before you!" "Umm, Courtney, hate to break it to you, but... there really isn't any importance to getting here first..." Gwen said, cautiously. "Yeah, well... Suck it!" Courtney stated before walking back to where she was standing near the flagpole. Gwen and Duncan tried to touch it, but Courtney guarded it like a watch dog. It was only after Bridgette calmed her down that the two could touch the flagpole, which was also about the time Katie, Sadie, Justin and Alejandro arrived at the flagpole.

"Oh my god, we made it!" Sadie said, jumping up and down. "Oh my god, you're right! Let's go touch it!" The two ran over to the flagpole and touched it, while making sure never to let go of each other's hand. Justin and Alejandro calmly walked over to the flagpole, glaring the entire way. Justin touched it first, but as Alejandro reached out to touch it, Heather jumped out and pushed him away. "Hah!" She then touched the pole herself (for like a millisecond because, ew, gross!). Alejandro stood back up, rubbing his back. He then touched the pole, wondering what Heather was trying to do, pushing him away. He certainly didn't lose anything...

"Oh, look, look! There it is! The flagpoooole!" Lindsay jumped up and down for a few seconds before running towards the flagpole. "Alright! Coming through!" Tyler yelled, running past her, tripping on yet another branch, and landing right next to the flagpole. He touched it, barely managing to raise his hand to do so. "Nice one. Tell me, do you ever actually use your feet right?" Noah felt the need to ask. Lindsay giggled as she stepped on Tyler's back to touch the flagpole herself. Beth just calmly went over and touched the flagpole. Lindsay squealed and hugged her. "We made it!", she said, dancing around the flagpole. Tyler stuck his thumb up for a second.

"Come on now, DJ. A lot of the animals were trying to hurt you as well..." Trent tried to argue. "But what about this goat? Or the snake over there? Or the cute little bunnies? Or that cat? Where did that poor thing even come from?" DJ said, welling up as he spoke. "Listen DJ, I'm afraid most of the people are already at the flagpole. If you want to go, you can go. I'm going to try and find the pole." Trent said, patting the guy's shoulder before making an attempt to leave. A thought then popped into his head, and he turned towards DJ again. Somehow, he had managed to hurt a raccoon in the short time Trent had his back turned towards him. "You know, the curse won't fade as you leave. Since it started on the show, maybe the solution is in the show." DJ looked up. He thought about it for a second, and then stood. A bird flew against his head and fell down. "You're right! I have to stop this, and I'll figure out how!" DJ said, his confidence coming back to him. "Great! But then we'll have to hurry to the flagpole. Come on!"

"But... I'm here... Won't it be nice to hang out with me?" Owen tried. Blaineley groaned. "No offense, but I'd rather hang out with Josh. He's doing the Aftermath, you know.", she said, still unmoving. "Well, umm..." Owen looked for a reason to get her to stay. "Why do you want me to stay, anyway?" Blaineley asked. "I dunno. I just thought it'd be nice for everyone I like to be on the island...", he answered. "You like me?" Blaineley said, raising her head to look him in the eyes. "Well, yeah. You don't seem as mean as Heather, or Alejandro. I don't know why the rest doesn't like you, really..." Owen said. Blaineley thought about it for a second, then slumped back down again. "I'm still not going." Owen sighed and thought as hard as he could (Which, admittedly, still wasn't that hard). Then, he gasped and said: "Two million dollars!" "What?" Blaineley said, looking back at the giant. "If you win, you get two million dollars! Who doesn't like two million dollars?", he yelled. Blaineley gasped as well, and then stood. "That's it. I'm going!" "Alright!" Owen said, laughing and turning around to find out that Izzy was standing there.

"Why are you so nice to the Mildred?", she asked. "Ummm... Yeah, uhhh... I, uh, I..." Owen shuffled around. "You can't talk to the Mildred!" Izzy yelled. "Zizzy Dizzy forbids it!" Owen cowered. "Now, let's go! I know where the flagpole is!" Apparently, Izzy was fine again, laughing as she grabbed Owen and sprinted towards the flagpole. "Hey!" Blaineley yelled out. "Don't leave me here! Hello? Hey!", she yelled at Izzy as she ran after them.

Izzy managed to get Owen to the flagpole in less than a minute. "Zizzy Dizzy! Ha ha!", she yelled out as she grabbed the flagpole. Owen touched it as well, looking behind him. Maybe Blaineley wasn't going to make it... Harold and Leshawna followed, with Harold nearly hyperventilating as the two touched the flagpole. "I ain't never gonna team up with you again!" Leshawna yelled out. DJ and Trent ran over to the flagpole and touched it. "Are we too late?" Trent asked. "I don't think so. Blaineley and Ezekiel aren't here yet." Bridgette said. At that moment, Blaineley ran towards the group. "Am I... Wait, is it over?" Blaineley asked. "No! Ezekiel isn't here yet and you-" Owen got cut off by Chef walking onto the field. "This damn nitwit tried to search through my damn kitchen looking for the flagpole. Bunch of incompetent teenagers, the lot of you...", he said as he threw Ezekiel against the flagpole. "NO!" Blaineley screamed. Chris appeared, climbing off the ladder of his helicopter.

"Haha... This is good. Blaineley, seeing as you're the only person who hasn't touched the flagpole yet, it's see ya time for you. Dock's that-a-way."

"No! No no no no no no no! I refuse to leave now! I'm not going anywhere!" Chris signed for two interns to lead her to the dock.

"NOOOO! I DESERVE THOSE TWO MILLION DOLLARS! THIS IS SO UNFAIR! LET ME GO! UGH!" Blaineley screamed while the interned dragged her over to the Dock of Shame.

"Oh... Good times, you guys. Anyways, this was the first episode of Total Drama Tournament. Blaineley turned out to be more incompetent than Ezekiel, though only by chance, and Courtney won. Which sucks, because she'll get really obnoxious without realising that there's no prize for winning. Next episode, we'll divide these losers into teams-" Chris got cut off by a faint (maybe not so faint) voice (Eva) in the background: "And you better not pair me up with some weaklings!"

"Riiight. Anywho, watch who gets the boot, and who gets the loot, next episode of Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!"

* * *

"I can't believe this. I thought I could count on that Chef, but he's turned out to be more worthless than Chris and my agent put together. Ugh! Well, I don't need this show anyway. I'm sure I'll get... plenty offers... Oh, who am I kidding? I don't have a job! Damn it! I NEED THAT GODDAMN MONEY! FUCK YOU, CHRIS MCLEAN! AARGH!"

"Wait... Co-host of the Aftermath show? Really?"

* * *

Well, that was the first chapter/episode/whatever! About halfway into writing it, I had three endings in my head: One where Blaineley lost, one where Trent lost and one where Ezekiel lost. I chose Blaineley, because she's like 30 or something.

So I tried to keep everyone in-character, which is hard because there's 27 characters. But for now, I did the best I could.

I decided that, after every episode, the loser gets their own little elimination speech. No one will hear, seeing as the person who lost is already a few miles away from the island at that point, but they deserve to vent.

If there's anything you want to see differently, any suggestions, or just comments, review! Seriously, review. It gives me life. Do eet.

See ya next time, I hope!


	2. Angry Angry Interns

I've decided I hate the new Fanfiction. Every time I scroll up while writing, there's lines everywhere. Dreadful.

And to the one reviewer who's already commented, I know about canon, and in this case, I disregard it. I don't like people forgiving Sierra. I do not understand what happened that suddenly made Sierra okay. Cody went mental for a second there, methinks. And no, I already said I haven't seen Season 4.

Now that Blaineley is kicked out, it's time to get serious! Teams will be made and people will compete for the two million dollar prize! Who will win? And who will be kicked out this very episode/chapter/whatever? Who will form alliances? And who will give up everything?

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Let's get this shit on the road!

* * *

"Welcome back! I'm Chris McLean, and if you didn't know that already, get the hell out of here! We're picking up mere minutes after last episode. Everyone is anxious, and this is an important moment. I'm now dividing the 24 remaining campers up into four teams. Let's see if we have another Team Victory in the making!"

"First up: Justin, Sadie, Owen, Trent, Duncan and Tyler." The six campers walked over to where Chris directed them. "I guess we're paired up again..." Tyler said to Owen.

"Next: Cody, Izzy, Ezekiel, Noah, Gwen and Eva." They walked over, with Cody trying to walk next to Gwen as much as possible.

"The third team: Geoff, Bridgette, Courtney, Beth, Lindsay and DJ." Lindsay hugged Beth and DJ. Geoff glared at Courtney, who remained blissfully unaware.

"And finally: Leshawna, Katie, Sierra, Heather, Alejandro and Harold!" Katie tried to hug Sadie, but Chris stopped them. "Oh my god, Chris!" Katie exclaimed. "And also, no refunds." Chris said. "Oh my god, but..." Katie whined. "Oh my god, wait, Katie." Sadie said, solemnly. "We should try this. Maybe we'll end up stronger in the end!" "Oh my god, but I don't wanna be stronger!" Katie whined. "We'll have to." Sadie said.

"But I cannot be in the same team as this monster!" Heather protested. "I do not want to spend my time with the man who's destroyed so much for me!" "NO REFUNDS!" Chris yelled.

"Now. You guys go set up, and I'll go... set up as well." Chris said, laughing as he walked away. Then he turned around. "Oh, and I need team names. Make sure you've got them ready in an hour."

"Dibs on the north-eastern bunks!" Izzy yelled. Her team followed her, afraid to disagree with her.

"We're taking the south-eastern bunks!" Trent yelled. "Forget it! We're having the north-western bunks!" Duncan yelled back.

"Umm... Actually, I think we're taking the south-western bunks." Justin said. Both Trent and Duncan turned around to see Geoff and Bridgette walking into the north-western bunks and Heather running out of the south-eastern bunks to swear at Chris.

"...Fine."

After everyone settled (not before Heather threw Alejandro's luggage out three seperate times and Eva had threatened to break several skulls for trying to get the bunk she wanted), Chris walked onto the campgrounds. "So, names?", he inquired.

"Team Starlight!" Courtney yelled out. Geoff groaned.

"Team Defeat!" Leshawna, Katie, Sierra, Heather, Alejandro and Harold said simultaneously. When Chris looked at the team with a raised eyebrow, Leshawna explained: "Well, last season we tried naming the team Team Victory. You know how that went down, right?" Chris chuckled, then turned towards Justin's team (more specifically Justin, because he was just so... present). "So?"

"Team Radiance!" Justin exclaimed. "Fitting." Chris said.

"And you guys?" Chris asked the last team. They all came with different answers: Eva said "Team Skullbashers", Noah said "Team We-Can't-Wait-To-Get-Out-Of-This-Place", and Cody offered "Team Restraining Order". Izzy stated the team was "Team Dizzy". Finally, Gwen just yelled out: "Team Chris Is Old!" "Yeah... Forget it. I say Team Dizzy." Chris said, making Izzy hop around and the rest of the team groan.

"Well, that's settled. Everybody settle down, you'll notice what the first challenge is soon enough..." Chris chuckled and left.

* * *

"You know what the sad part is? I'm actually used to the cockroaches."

Cody chuckled as he helped Gwen with her luggage. "Yeah, and the bad food."

"And the broken beds..." Gwen smiled.

"And the life-threatening challenges!" Cody outright laughed, even though he just stated he was probably gonna die at some point in the game.

"Oh, and the-" Gwen cut herself off mid-sentence, realising Cody just got a lot closer to her than before. She took a step backwards. "So, umm... Thanks for helping me with my luggage... I guess..." Cody got the message. "Hey, no prob." He then walked out to get his own luggage packed out.

Gwen sighed. Why couldn't Cody just like someone else? Like Sierra! The girl was creeping at the guy for the entirety of Season 3! But no, he had to be obsessed with her. He wasn't that focused on her in Season 1! What happened?

"Hey, what're you thinking 'bout?" Leshawna asked, walking inside the room. Gwen looked up and smiled. "Thank god, someone sane." Noah, who was just walking by, said: "Thanks for implying that the rest of your team isn't. Who am I, Izzy?" He was then promptly attacked by Izzy. "It's ZIZZY DIZZY!" "My friggin god,_ sooorry_!"

"Oh my god, I'm gonna miss you when I'm asleep!" Sadie said. "Oh my god, I know! Katie said. "Oh my god, and-hey, who are that?" Sadie turned around. There was a small army of men, with a few women that looked a bit like Katie. Chris walked out from amidst the army, as the rest of the campers started coming out of the cabins.

"These guys are your challenge. These are angry angry interns! And they're coming to get you with laser guns. You'll now be equipped with targets."

"Hey, get your hands off of me!" Heather yelled. Alejandro smirked and raised his arms to let the intern put the equipment on. He then frowned and walked away. "That guy kept his hands on me a little bit longer than he should've..." "Don't flatter yourself, Prince Harming." Heather sneered.

"Hey, dude! Can't a girl do this? I'm straight!" Tyler yelled out. "I'll do it!" Lindsay walked over to him and tried to get it on. Tyler looked at her progress nervously.

"Just hurry up, guys! We haven't got all daaay!" Chris whined.

"Umm, Chris? A little help here?" Chris looked at Tyler, chuckling. Lindsay had managed to get Tyler upside down, with his arms behind his back.

After everyone was ready (and Tyler was freed, not without falling flat on his face though), Chris lead the campers to where the Dodgeball arena used to stand. Instead, there was now a maze. "Here is where you will be avoiding the interns for as long as possible. Every team has their own entrance. You can also eliminate the interns through several obstacles in the maze, but the interns can do the same to you. This will also make you lose. There are two ways you can win: Be the team that survives the longest, or be the team with the most interns defeated. So get to it!" The campers walked to their entrances, where four carpets were lying, similar to the ones in Egypt.

"Nice symbol, Chris." Justin said. Their yellow symbol was the picture of Chris with a halo.

"I know, right?" Chris chuckled. "I don't want to have your face as my symbol again!" Tyler yelled. "No, look, it's fine!" Owen said. He then went to sit on the carpet, right on Chris's face. "Oh, that's some good stuff! Now fart!" Tyler yelled, to which the rest of his team yelled: "NO!" "...Too late." "Oh my god, you're gross!" "Seriously Owen?" "Prison smells better than that!" "What if the gas hits my perfect eyes? Owen!"

"Hmm. I guess I'll accept this." Courtney said, inspecting their carpet, simply blue with a star. "I like it." Bridgette said. "Yay, this is perfect! I'm a star!" Lindsay squee'd. "Yay! Me too!" Beth exclaimed. Lindsay just looked down on her. "I... Right?" Beth asked, now a little bit nervous. Lindsay just got very creepy. "Maybe.", the girl said. DJ smiled. "I like it too-OW!" he said as a swordfish poked him in the arm. He then got worried as the fish ran out of breath. "NOOO! SOMEONE GET SOME WATER!"

"Great. Thanks, Izzy." Noah drawled. Their (red) symbol was a little spiral. "Surprised it isn't four little birdies flying around Chris's head." Cody noted next to him, earning a chuckle from Noah. Eva however wasn't in a very jovial mood, attempting to destroy the carpet. Izzy and Noah calmed her down a bit, but she was still threatening to break Chris's face.

"Well, it's fitting, I guess..." Leshawna noted at their symbol: A green trophy, turned upside down. "But if you look at it from this way, we're still the greatest team EVE-" Harold was cut off by both Leshawna and Sierra putting their hands in front of his mouth. "OMG, Harold, you can't just say stuff like that! We'll get in a losing streak!" Sierra shrieked, her eyes almost wider than her entire face. "Again!" Leshawna added. "And I am not in the mood for losing!" Heather said, nearly growling.

"Alright, people, let's go! Oh, and look out for the Intern From Above!" Chris added. "Wait, what?" Gwen didn't get any further explanation, as Chef pushed them into the maze. "Great."

* * *

"What the hell?" Heather stared at the wall she arrived at, seeing the same weird symbol she saw ten times already. "What the hell does this mean?", She asked, mostly towards Chris, who was probably watching. Next to the symbol were two levers. Like she was gonna pull on those, probably only to fall into a hole herself...

Right at that moment, Ezekiel passed by her. "Hey-o, gotta win-o!", he yelled out. "Ugh, go lose-o, homeschool-o!" An intern appeared in front of them. Heather shrieked and ducked, but Ezekiel pulled a lever, and sure enough, the ground under him gave way. After Ezekiel fell, Heather stood and rushed to the other lever while the intern tried to shoot her. She pulled it, causing the intern to fall down... along with Harold, who had just turned the corner. "Harold!" Heather shouted down the hole.

"How the hell did you get up there?" Noah yelled towards Izzy, who had managed to climb up the wall and was now running on top of the maze. "Zizzy Dizzy is channeling a monkey. Look! I even have a tail!" Izzy yelled down, showing Noah she had a collection of multicolored hair, some red like herself, some long and black like Heather's, some blond like Bridgette's, and some... "Is that my hair?!" Noah yelled. "Oh yeah, you were totally asleep last season, you know, when that rat fell into your mouth? I snatched it, along with the rat's tail! Look!" Izzy grabbed a tail out of her hair. "Ugh, that's gross!" Noah complained, not noticing the intern who turned the corner. "LOOK OUT!" Izzy yelled, throwing Noah out of the intern's way. She then attacked said intern, throwing him over the wall and managing to steal his laser gun as well. "Let's go shoot people!", she yelled while dragging Noah along.

Eva had already succesfully managed to throw three interns out of the maze without getting hit. Obviously, Chris's little army wasn't gonna stop her. She turned a corner and saw another intern, who instantly tried to shoot the target on her arm. She avoided the laser gun and grabbed onto a handle on the wall. As she grabbed it, a wall moved to reveal Courtney standing behind it, fighting off another intern. After throwing that one into the coffin obstacle standing nearby and complaining to Chris about the random presence of a coffin in a maze, she knocked out the intern Eva was fighting and took his gun. As Eva tried to run away, Courtney shot her. Eva, ouraged, walked over to Courtney to give her a piece of her mind. Courtney grabbed her PDA. "You do know that if you harm me, you will get sued, right?", she quipped. "I am going to get you kicked out of this game personally!" Eva yelled. Courtney just pulled a lever, causing Eva to fall down into yet another hole.

"Oh my god, why are we in the same path?" "Oh my god, Sadie, go away!" "Oh my god, no, you go away!" Justin peered around the corner to see the two girls having trouble staying away from each other. 'It's like they're magnetic.' Justin got to thinking. 'How do I get them both to follow me like a pair of dogs?' While figuring out options to make Katie dislike Alejandro, he looked over to see Alejandro himself looking around the corner opposite to Justin. Katie had spotted him as well, deciding to cling onto the guy's neck. Sadie was more reluctant to do so, but she hung around Alejandro anyway, despite the fact that she was trying to stay away from Katie. Just when he was about to step out and "claim" Sadie, an intern pulled a lever and opened a hole under Justin, making him fall a few feet. "Ow! You know, if I get bruises, you're in trouble! My skin needs to be perfect!" As Justin climbed out of the hole, he practically saw a lightbulb above Alejandro's head. What the hell is he gonna do?

By then, several other campers had already been shot or had fallen down some hole: Lindsay had thrown both her and Beth into a hole (noticeably after a conversation about the kind of star Beth could be, a conversation in which Lindsay said all she was good for was physical comedy), Owen got stuck going around a corner, and Gwen had thrown herself into a hole out of boredom. Leshawna was now nervously walking around, after having seen how DJ got shot by one of the "Katie" interns: First, she threw an already dead bunny at DJ, hard enough to create the illusion that DJ had somehow killed it, then she told him that was Bunny, the bunny DJ had kept at home so that he wouldn't harm it, and finally she had shot him while he was crying. Then he accidentally bit a bird that flew into his mouth as he cried. So, suffice to say, Leshawna was a bit on edge.

Then, she heard a noise and spun around to see Tyler tripping over a branch, even though Leshawna hadn't seen a single branch during the half hour she had been inside the maze. Tyler continued to trip on several branches, twigs and his own feet. Eventually Leshawna just pulled a few of the random levers in the room, until one took Tyler away, so he'd stop tripping. He still managed to hit his head on a lever before descending. Lashawna shook her head, then turned around to walk away, only to be shot and pushed back into the same hole by the "Katie" intern.

Trent went around the corner, only to bump into Duncan. "Agh, damn it, guitar boy! Watch your step!" Duncan complained. "How about you try using your eyes instead of your pocket knife?" Trent retorted, earning a weird look from Duncan. "Of all the people I'm stuck in a team with, you're by far the worst! Owen just eats and farts, Tyler hurts himself too often to be any real trouble, Sadie is only half a person anyway, and Justin... Well, he's almost as bad, but you've had a random obsession, and you're a jealous dickhead!" "And you're the worst I know! You stole Gwen from me, and you're a useless delinquent who shouldn't even be here! How did you get out of prison?" "By being better than you!" "I beg to differ!" Right at that moment, two interns showed up and shot the both of them from behind.

"Ah crap! Shot in the butt!" "Yeah, your unnaturally low butt!" "Oh, sorry I don't have your rectangular head!" "Oh right, because your perfectly square one is so much better!"

"Oh my god, Katie, you leave Alejandro!" "Oh my god, no! He's on my team, you leave him!" "Oh my god!" "Oh my god!" Alejandro smirked as the two girls fought behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see a girl intern pop up behind them, and when he looked forward again, another intern stood there, ready to shoot him. Alejandro instantly shot into action and avoided the guy's shots, and then walked up the wall, grabbing a particularly high lever that sent the male intern falling. He landed to see the girl intern shoot Katie and Sadie. "Oh my god, you just shot me!" "Oh my god, that's totally not me!" The girls ran off, leaving Alejandro to fend for himself. The intern aimed, but as she looked for targets, her eyes scanned his irresistable body, and suddenly, she just didn't find the will to shoot him anymore. Alejandro grinned, winked and ran off.

"Sierra, could you please let go?" "Oh, that's just ridiculous! If I let go of you now, how will we marry?" "What?" "I'm totally allowed to marry myself! I took a course on the internet. I'll give myself away!" "Oh god..."

Heather sat down. It had been over an hour of uselessness now, for sure. 'Why the hell has no one get me the hell out of here by now?' That was so it. She was gonna quit the show as soon as that Boat of Losers showed up. Who was gonna stop her, of all people, if she wanted to leave? 'No one. No one would try, because everyone hates me anyway. One season of screwing up and I'm punished for the rest of my life.' Heather tilted her head back against the wall, sighing. She could always just get voted off... First, probably as well...

"Well, well, well." And then Alejandro showed up. Heather stood in about a millisecond. "Get the hell away from me, you creep!" "You really do look stunning with your hair long. It annoys me." "Yeah, too bad I didn't throw you down the volcano! Would have been fun to see you bald now!" "Oh, it would complement me, I'm sure." Heather groaned. As if it wasn't bad enough that this guy was on the same island as her, he had to be in the same team as well? Now she couldn't even throw him down a hole! Apparently, Alejandro didn't think the same way, as he pulled the lever above Heather and made her fall to her defeat. "You moron! We're on the same team!" "Yes, but that was just so... pleasurable." "Go pleasure yourself, donkey boy!" Alejandro calmly walked away, pulling some levers and making some interns fall on their face.

"Sierra! You have to let go, I have to..." "Oh no, no excuses, honey. We're gonna be together forever and ever and ever and-" "Intern!" "Aah!" Sierra grabbed hold of a lever, but broke it in a panic. Looking at it, she let go of Cody (who continued to gasp for breath) and started hitting interns. It was going great for her, until one intern managed to shoot Cody. Gasping, she ran over. "Cody! NOOO!" She turned around to face the intern. "No one shoots my Cody!" She ran over and knocked the man unconscious, continuing to hit the man until the floor opened, causing Sierra and Cody to drop down. The Katie intern was hanging above the hole, her hand still holding the lever. "She is a freak."

"Hey, guys!" Geoff looked over Bridgette's shoulder. Damn it, it was Courtney! "Oh, hey Courtney!" Bridgette said. "Have you been making out the entire time?" "Yup!" Bridgette exclaimed excitedly. "Yeah, and we'd like to continue that..." Geoff muttered. "How did you guys not get shot yet?" Courtney had to know. "Oh, the interns wanted to give us some privacy." Bridgette explained.

"Whuahahahah!", a loud voice yelled. Courtney looked around to see Izzy had just jumped over the walls, with a dazed looking Noah behind her. Instinctively, Courtney shot Noah. "Finally." Noah drawled, walking out. Izzy was furious. "You, probably Hispanic lady, are gonna pay for that!" Courtney aimed at Izzy, only to hear two shots behind her. Bridgette and Geoff glared at the interns that shot them. Courtney pulled the first lever she saw, catapulting the interns instead of just making them drop. Looking over her shoulder, she jumped to avoid Izzy's shots. She landed a few feet away, aiming her gun at Izzy. The girl was very evasive, however, so she just couldn't aim right. "Can't touch this! Zizzy Dizzy! Woo!" Izzy cackled, jumping around the maze. Courtney ran after her, unwilling to let her go. "Zizzy Dizzy-Uh!" Izzy exclaimed, hitting an intern halfway through. "Hah!" Courtney knew she had her now. "Zizzy Dizzy is dizzy..." Izzy mumbled, her head spinning. "Eat this!" Courtney yelled, shooting Izzy's arm target.

As Izzy's buzzer went off, Courtney cheered and danced around. "Yes!" She stopped as she heard a noise above her, almost like a motor. She looked up and saw a huge laser gun, controlled by an intern. He hovered over Courtney, making all of her targets go off at once. "Aw, crap! Well, at least I won, right?" "Wrong." Courtney turned around to see Alejandro, holding a laser gun and smirking. "No way!" Courtney exclaimed, her eyes and mouth wide open. "Si, senorita." "Damnit!" Alejandro took out a piece of metal from his back pocket (A place Katie has been dying to stick her hand in for a long time) and threw it at the Intern From Above. It just hit the right part of the vehicle, as it came down and landed next to Courtney. In her frustration, she picked the intern up and flung him at Alejandro, who simply dodged him, laughed and turned around, only to find the Katie intern there, who continued to shoot him in the leg target. "Aw, damn!", he yelled, throwing down the laser gun. "I always get my target.", the intern said. "And by the way, just for the world out there, I have a name. It's Joelle." Joelle walked off, leaving a bewildered Alejandro.

* * *

"Alright! Let's tally up the scores!" Chris said as the campers recovered from the challenge. "I swear Chris, you really have gone mental now." Heather said, glaring at him, and then at Alejandro.

"I know, right? Awesome!" Chris said. "Now, Team Defeat won, so I guess the reverse naming thing might have worked..." "Yeah, that and my amazing..." "Shut it, skinny legs!"

"And now, the people with the least intern wipe-outs are the losers!" Chris said. "In first, with a whopping 46 interns... Team Starlight!" Courtney jumped up, cheering with her fist in the air. Bridgette laughed and cheered along with her, as did Lindsay and DJ (not without hitting a few animals of course).

"And second, with 17 wipe-outs..." Chris said, pausing for way longer than he should have (really, it got edited when it came time to air), "Team Radiance!" Katie hugged Justin, and Owen and Tyler fistbumped. Trent and Duncan turned to each other in celebration, but when they saw each other, they stopped and growled.

Chris then turned to the losers. "Only 13 interns! That's bad luck, you guys!", he sniggered. Noah, Cody and Gwen collectively glared at him. Izzy just giggled in her own little daze, and Ezekiel sighed, looking at his shoes. Eva jumped up from where she was sitting. "I wiped out at least 8 of those! What the hell were you all thinking!" "Well, if Izzy had actually shot somebody..." Noah noted, looking over at the redhead. "It's... Zizzy Dizzy..." Izzy said, her head still whirling.

"Well, time to make a decision and throw someone out!" Chris said. "But uh, not me, eh?" Ezekiel piped up. "I totally punched butt today! None of you could have done what I did!" "What, get thrown out first? You barely lasted a minute!" Heather yelled out from where she was walking. "Uh, eh, now that's... umm..." Ezekiel mumbled, as his teammates glared at him.

* * *

"Hey Eva, do you have a minute?" Noah walked up to the girl, who was busy lifting weights. "What?" Eva asked. "Well, I was thinking, right." Noah started explaining. "I've noticed that you haven't really been getting a lot of attention on the show." "That's right, the scumbags..." "Yeah, I know. I also haven't been doing so well. I just thought we should stick together a bit, make sure we manage to survive for a while..." Out of nowhere, Izzy popped up. "Ooh, like an alliance? Can I join?" Noah looked at Izzy, who was more or less his friend. "Sure."

"Hey Gwen?" Gwen sighed and turned around to face Cody. "I was wondering..." "You know what? I don't care what you want from me, because the answer will be no. No no no no no! I'm with Duncan. I don't want you to be anywhere near me! You keep obsessing over me, and I'm sick of it! I've been having to deal with your slobber for way too long!" Gwen shouted, finally bursting. "Oh... Okay..." Cody mumbled. Gwen refused to regret what she just said. "I was just wondering if you could do something about Sierra..." "What about her?" Gwen asked, maybe letting guilt get to her just a little bit. "She still wants to marry me. She's apparently licensed to marry herself! She has to know the truth, and I can't tell her!" "Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna help you. If you want her to know the truth, tell her the truth." Cody sighed and walked away. Gwen chuckled under her breath, knowing how Sierra was gonna torment Cody.

"Hey, Chris?" Chris looked up to see Owen. Of course it had been Owen, no one else had a shadow that big! "Yes, Owen?" "I kinda really wanna win this season, so... Could you let me win?" "You're kidding, right?" "I could also reveal these pictures I found..." "Which pictures? ...Fine."

* * *

"So! Seeing as we're still... fixing the confessional cam..." "And I know I've been dying to vent..." "Of course you have, broody goth girl! But shut it, I'm trying to talk here! As I was saying, since we're still fixing the 'fess cam, you've all been asked to place your votes at Chef's kitchen." "And that was weird as hell!" Cody exclaimed. Chris looked down at him. "Chef was staring at us as we did it!" Cody continued. "Chef's a nosy one. Anyway, the votes are in! Through to the next round are:

"Gwen." Gwen walked over and got her marshmallow, looking at it with half disgust, half nostalgia.

"Noah." Noah got the marshmallow, not excited at all despite the fact he had never gotten one before.

"Eva." Eva walked over, a bit surprised to get it so fast, seeing as she yelled at all the other campers.

"Cody. Cody ran over, getting his marshmallow as if Chris wouldn't give it if he wasn't fast enough.

"Two people left. One marshmallow." Chris said solemnly.

Both Izzy and Ezekiel gasped. "Oh, this better not be true, eh!" Ezekiel said. "I better get that, eh eh eh eh eh!" Izzy said, causing Ezekiel to look at her funny (well, funnier). "And the final marshmallow goes to..." Chris waited, making Izzy and Ezekiel stare at the marshmallow nervously.

"Izzy."

* * *

"I vote for Ezekiel. Everyone else seems cool, and he's bound to be voted off anyway." Cody said, putting his vote into the box.

"I vote for that dumb shrimp, Ezekiel. There's a lot wrong with him!" Eva said, very loudly, as she rammed her vote into the box, almost breaking it.

"I vote for Izzy, eh. She completely messed up that fight with Courtney. She sucks, eh." Ezekiel said, putting his vote into the box. "Hey-o!"

"I vote for Cody. Need to get him off the island. And fast." Gwen said, vigorously jamming her vote into the box.

"I vote for Ezekiel. He's craaazy! Woo! Completely bonkers!" Izzy said, putting her vote into Chef's nose.

"I vote for Ezekiel. I'm sorry, but apart from just smelling bad, he's annoying beyond measure. Good riddance." Noah said, flippantly putting his vote into the box.

* * *

"So, Zeke, you're the first person voted off again. You're really bad at this!" Chris said. "Anywho, dock's over there, see it?"

Heather certainly saw it. She had been waiting for the ceremony to unfold. She was gonna reveal herself any minute now...

But then Alejandro walked past behind her, and she realised she couldn't go. She still had to get Alejandro kicked out!

"This isn't fair, eh...o! You people never give me a chance!" Ezekiel shouted out. He walked down the dock, stepping onto the Boat of Losers, throwing his hat onto the floor. "This isn't fair!"

"Well, glad that's settled. Ezekiel's the second person leaving the island, and the first one voted off. Again. He will never learn... Anyway, there are so much questions to answer! Will Heather defeat Alejandro? Or is it the other way around? Will Cody ever find love? And will I find a way to get Owen kicked off the show without any major damage? Find out next time on Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!"

* * *

"I can't believe I got voted off again, eh! I thought I'd win that money this time, for sure! I don't get why the other campers hate me so much. It's probably because there were three girls voting for me! Were they on their periods or something?"

"Whaddaya mean, stop talking?"

* * *

Well, anyway, it's midnight now, so I'm not gonna take the time to proofread this damn thing.

Ezekiel's been voted off. He's too dumb to participate, guys! He rivals Lindsay in strategic power!

I thought it'd be funny to have Izzy and Ezekiel be the last two people, because they're such a crack pairing. WTF?

And Joelle is based on the Camp TV prototype for Katie that turned into an intern in Jamaica Me Sweat.

I might have gone a bit OOC here, but I hope it's still good enough. It's hard giving all the characters equal attention, damn it!

So, review pretty please, and see ya next time!


	3. Tired People And Tired Hosts

Last day before school, trying to get some writing done before I have to go. We'll see.

So, the confessional cam is fixed, so whenever you see [this], you know it's a confession.

Disclaimer: ...You know it's not mine.

Let's get somebody kicked off!

* * *

"Welcome to Total Drama Tournament! Last week, the interns finally got revenge, luckily without harming me! Ezekiel got booted off, so I don't have to listen to his crap again, and as such, Team Dizzy lost their first member! Losers!"

Chris walked over to the lodge, walking in to the cranky teenagers.

"I swear, if I had known the beds would be even less comfortable, I wouldn't have come on the show in the first place! Who slept on there, Chef?"

"Yep! Sleeps like a baby in a bunk like-no." Chris glared at Leshawna.

"Anywho, the confessional cam is set up outside, so if anyone wants to-" Chris didn't get to finish his sentence as the campers all ran out towards the confessional cam.

[I am going insane! Howard is the most disgusting pig this world has ever seen, with his snoring, and his picking, and then there's Leshawna! I want to strangle her, but I can't get my hands around her neck! And Katie is the most useless...] - Heather

[I was wondering, is there the possibility of me getting a restraining order? Like, can someone come over and settle that? ...Guys?] - Cody

[I just hope I can find my own identity this season. I've been so attached to Geoff... I'm sure I should be known for better things...] - Bridgette

[...And Sierra... She is a special amount of stalker. I am seriously trying to get rid of her as fast as possible. I don't like Cody-induced drool in my bunks...] - Heather

[I think I was very smart when I found the pictures. I totally meant to find them. They were... ummm... I wasn't paying attention, I was looking for pancakes...] - Owen

[OMG, I am going to ask Chris to make the next challenge a wedding challenge! And then it's finally ready... It's all ready...] - Sierra

[Harold and me? Nothing going on there. This guy is just not my type. Really... I mean, the glasses...] - Leshawna

[...She actually stole his pants. I don't want that in my bunk! And don't get me started on Alejandro...] - Guess who.

"So! We've got another challenge, right now!" Chris said, looking at the terrified, pissed and tired campers. "We're revisiting an old challenge from Season 1: The Awake-A-Thon!" Several groans were heard. Duncan raised his fist. "We're gonna win this!" Gwen looked over, smiling. "Remember how I won last time we did this?" Duncan grinned at her. "Yeah, we'll see how that goes this time!" The two grinned at each other for a while.

"Ewww, stop being so sappy!" Chris yelled. "Get outside right now!" The campers walked over to the bonfire. "Wait, did you make the beds worse so we'd be more tired?" Trent asked Chris. "Yup!"

"Genius!" Alejandro said. Heather glared at him. "Will people realise I'm a good guy if I get him out of here?"

"Well, better get ready to stay awake for a very long time!"

* * *

"I really don't like this challenge..." Bridgette complained. Geoff nodded absently. "I was really bad at it last time we did it! I was second to go down and the first was _Owen_." Geoff just nodded.

[I wonder if I'm too attached to Bridgette? People always say we're attached to the tongue... Well, that's what Sierra's blog said...] - Geoff

"Are you even listening?" Bridgette looked at Geoff, expecting an answer. "Yeah... yeah..." Bridgette shook her head. Geoff walked over to where Trent and DJ were talking.

Noah walked over to Cody. "Listen, we both know what happened last time we did this challenge. So how about we agree, you stay on that side of the campfire, I stay over here." "Deal. Don't tell Sierra where I'll be staying, then."

"Oh my god, we can fall asleep together!" "Oh my god, Sadie, this is sooo... great. Could we go sit next to Alejandro?" "Oh my god, no! He's... evil!" Katie went to find Alejandro anyway. "Oh my god, are you just gonna leave me?"

"So Chris, can I decide who gets voted off?" Owen asked. "No, Owen." Chris said. "I'll reveal the pictures then. There's camera's here now, aren't there?" Chris looked up at him. "Fine. Who do you want to see going?" "I dunno, I kinda like everybody here..." "Then why'd you ask?" "Ooh! Heather!" "Well, wait until the challenge is over, first... Owen?" Owen didn't answer, as he had already fallen asleep.

"Owen?" Cody woke Owen up. "You're a beauty..." Owen said in his sleep. Cody chuckled. Must be dreaming about Izzy. "You're the biggest donut I've ever seen!" Cody sighed. "OWEN!" "What?" Cody thanked God that he managed to wake Owen. "I heard about the pictures." "Oh, what pictures? I just am a fan of nature, that I am!" Owen rambled. "Sure. I don't know what you have on Chris, but I want it." "What do you want it for?" "Not your concern. What do you want for the pictures?" Cody said, Owen's shadow making him look more intimidating. "Umm... I don't know?" "How about this. You give me the pictures, I'll give you this EpiPen. It gets you pretty hyper, keeps you up. Might help you with the challenge. You can't use it anymore, but you can give it to a teammate." "Ummm... Deal!"

Justin walked into the woods. He needed to take a leak, and he hated the public bathrooms. As he walked, he noticed that something was different, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Just as he was starting to realise what was wrong, he tripped and fell on his face. Oh god! That was gonna leave... a bruise! Oh, the horror! He stood, looking around, and found a rope, strung through the woods. He had wondered why he had tripped. Who was he, Tyler?

Noah and Izzy were talking at their side of the campfire. Izzy was a good way to stay awake. "So I was totally there for Godzilla to wreck Japan, he took me out to dinner after, it was so romantic!" Noah smirked. Sure. "So, when are you and Cody gonna make out again?" Noah jumped up. "We- What- We never made out!" "Well, there was kissing involved, wasn't there?" "We were asleep!" "That was why I thought you'd do it again!" "Forget it, Izzy!" "It's Zizzy Dizzy! Anyway, don't you guys sleep in the same room?" "Nothing ever happened!" "Okay, just wondering... Ha ha!" Noah sighed, rolled his eyes and sat back down.

"These people are pathetic." Eva came and sat down next to the two. "Justin just fell asleep after rambling about his skin, Harold peed his pants, _Bridgette_ went down ages ago, Sadie is sleeping on her own, miraculously, and DJ is literally sleeping surrounded by wounded animals." Noah chuckled. "Oh, hi Eva! Look! Now our entire allian-" Both Noah and Eva stopped her before she could finish her sentence. Izzy relaxed for a second. "Oh, hey Eva, Noah's gonna kiss Cody again!" "NO I'M NOT!"

"Lindsay, why haven't you been talking to me as much lately?" Beth asked, looking up at the tall girl. "Nothing, I just realised something." Lindsay replied, coldly and without looking at Beth. "What?" Lindsay turned to Beth. "Listen, I totally wanna become a famous star, and famous stars have famous star friends. And I just realised you're not a good famous friend. You're never gonna make it in the biz, so why be friends?" "But Lindsay, I thought..." "Nope." Beth ran away, crying. Lindsay turned around to see Heather, her hands against her sides. "Wow, that was harsh. I'd be proud if you didn't disgust me so much." Lindsay giggled, before she realised what Heather said.

"Are you gonna fall asleep any time soon?" Duncan said. "Forget it! Are you gonna pee any time soon?" Trent retorted. Duncan growled and took out his pocket knife. Trent grabbed his guitar. Duncan chuckled. "Do you really think you can hurt me with that?" Trent took his guitar and started playing. Duncan roared and ran off. He had always hated Trent's music.

"I'm just worried I'm gonna be one of those guys that can never stay apart from their girls..." Geoff said. DJ scoffed. "You're already one of those guys." "Well, what do I do about it?" "I don't know. Never had the problem before..." "Of course not, you don't do relationships, do you?" "Of course I do, just not on the show. That'd be weird, with the competition..." "Why did you even stay? You could have been thrown out in the first episode, seeing as you have the whole animal curse and all..." "Well, if I get the money, maybe I can do something about it." "True. ...Let's go pick on Harold." "Are you kidding me? Three seasons of this game and you still want to pick on these people? You know what they went through." "Yeah, no. I'm sorry. I just wanted things to go back to how it was at the beginning." "Don't we all."

"Hey Alejandro!" Katie ran over to Alejandro, who was putting away some rope. "Oh, hello. Where's your friend?" "Oh my god, she's being so weird!" "Oh well. Anyway, you don't like Heather, do you?" Alejandro made sure Katie was looking him in the eyes. "Oh my god, of course not! Eww..." Katie was too busy staring into Alejandro's eyes.

"Hey Tyler!" Owen walked over to Tyler. "...Yeah?" Tyler took a moment to react, purely from his exhaustion. "Look what Cody gave me!" "What's that?" "It's Cody's EpiPen! Inject it! It'll keep you awake!" Owen bounced around, enthousiastically. "Are you sure you didn't already use it on yourself?" "Just use it!" Tyler took the EpiPen and injected it. Soon afterwards, it took effect. "BAM! I AM PUMPED! THANK YOU CO-WHERE'S CODY? IS HE KISSING NOAH AGAIN? I AM WIDE AWAKE! I DO TRIP A LOT, DON'T I?" Tyler shouted.

"Jeesh, you guys are pathetic..." Eva said to Noah and Izzy, who had already fallen asleep. "Am I the only one who can do a challenge here?", she said to no one in particular. "Ahem!" Eva turned around to see Gwen, who was standing behind her. "Oh yeah, you're on my team too. You're good at this, right?" Gwen groaned. "Everyone in my team thinks I have to win for my team, because I won the last time! Well, forget it! I'm going to bed!" She stormed off, leaving Eva outraged. "You've got to be kidding me!" She turned around. "And where the hell is Noah?"

"Trent?" Trent turned around to see Courtney standing behind him. "I was thinking the other night, and we all know by now you despise Duncan for a lot of reasons..." "Sure do!" "I applaude your enthousiasm. I think us getting together would really piss him off." "Uh, what?" "If we got together, it would make him jealous and angry, I'm sure of it. Don't you want to see his face? The one he pulls when things go wrong? I want it to be the screensaver of my PDA!" "But there's gotta be better ways..." "I assure you, you'll never see him angrier in your entire life!"

[I'm convinced Duncan still wants me. I just want him to suffer for not letting me change him! He'd be so perfect if he just wasn't... him!] - Courtney

"I really don't think so. A relationship isn't supposed to be faked..." "Alright, but remember me."

"Hmm. Cute." Justin said, glaring at Alejandro. Katie had fallen asleep on Alejandro's shoulder. "I'm not going to push her away from me, now, am I?" "I know you put up that rope." Justin accused. "I might have. But seriously, if you can't even see a piece of rope in the woods, you deserve the pain!" "Look at my skin!" "Gladly. I'll be watching every wound you get with pleasure." Alejandro said, a demonic glint in his eye. Justin walked away, passing Tyler, who had fallen asleep already. Cody grinned. "When it runs out, it puts you right to sleep." Cody himself hadn't fallen asleep yet, but his eyes just wouldn't stay open. Eventually he succumbed to the darkness, falling asleep next to a snoring Lindsay.

"Uh..." Gwen woke up to Leshawna, who sat next to her. "Who's still awake?", she asked the girl. "Trent, Eva, Geoff, Courtney, Beth- oh no, she just crashed... Umm, Sierra aaand... Heather and Alejandro." Leshawna answered. "What about Duncan?" Gwen asked. "Went to pee, and you can figure out the rest by yourself..." Leshawna answered. Gwen shook her head. "Just kidding. He went under protest as well." "Oh, okay." Gwen laughed. "I myself went down an hour ago. Chris might have used Rohypnol."

"OMG, I am so tired..." Sierra said. "I know... You've said that 6 times by now. We're all tired!" Heather said, getting more annoyed by the second. "Yeah, but I'm like, really tired..." Sierra said, not realising that was pretty much what she had been saying over and over already. "And I have to- wait, I smell EpiPen!" "You smell that?" Sierra jumped up and ran towards the scent, soon finding an asleep Tyler. "He used it!" Sierra barked. "Tyler used an EpiPen? Why?" Heather asked, confused. Gwen used it in World Tour, and she fell asleep pretty fast, after being hyper for a while. Of course Tyler didn't know that... Sierra walked back to her seat, where she fell asleep right away.

Geoff walked around the campgrounds a bit aimlessly. He realised Bridgette and he had been the laughing stock of the entire show. What was he gonna do now? Break up with her? Bridgette was everything for him. But maybe that was the problem. A lot of people have been breaking their bonds with people: Lindsay and Beth, Katie and Sadie... Maybe it was time for him and Bridgette to do the same? What if Bridgette would be his entire life? What if everything he had seen himself do in the future would be thrown away just for Bridgette? Could he give that up? The tired Geoff just couldn't handle the stress anymore, and he fell asleep on the spot.

While Courtney was still hopping around at the campfire, Heather walked into Chef's kitchen. She was gonna get coffee if her life depended on it, which it probably did. She quickly found what she was looking for, and before taking it, she turned around, with her sharpened claws. When she didn't see anyone, she took the coffee. She took a few steps, and then quickly turned around, grabbing her nail file. Still no one there. She walked to the dinner table, and then grabbed her knife, and waved it under the table for a few seconds, just to make sure no one was there. She started drinking her coffee, still cautiously looking around. A few minutes later, she was sound asleep.

Noah slowly opened his eyes, awoken by the tickling sensation on his chin. He looked down to see a sleeping Cody, kissing it. 'Oh crap, not again..." Noah thought. 'How did it happen now? We specifically made sure we wouldn't be around each other!', he thought as he quietly pushed Cody away and walked out, still slightly shocked. He needed a shower.

Courtney looked down at Trent, who had fallen asleep, next to Duncan. How cute. Courtney rolled her eyes and walked to the lodge. When she stepped inside, she saw Heather, asleep with a cup of coffee. Alejandro was in the kitchen, making more cups. Courtney noted the sleeping medicine he put in them. She snuck up behind him and took the pills, quicky stuffing one into his mouth and forcing him to swallow it. She walked out, knowing he wasn't gonna last long anymore. She stood still for a moment on the campground and then crashed.

"Eva! You won! You gained invincibility for your entire team!" Chris said through his megaphone, waking everyone up. "Now, everyone else has another challenge to go!" The exhausted campers groaned. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll love it." "I doubt it..." Heather muttered. "No, really! The challenge is called... The Sleep-A-Thon!" "What?" Leshawna's eyes brightened at those words. "Yes! The team to have all of its members wake up first has to eliminate one of their own!" "Oh, yeah, baby!" Leshawna and Harold danced while Heather crashed instantly.

The first person to wake up was Tyler, having not even woken up when Chris yelled through his megaphone. After the rules of the challenge were explained to him, he silently went to sit on a log. Katie and Sadie seemed to have made up again, although that could have been the fault of their magnetism. Beth was up next, and she stomped off, waking up Lindsay and Bridgette in the process. Weirdy enough, Owen woke up next, disappointing Tyler and Justin, who had also woken already.

Sadie and Katie woke up next, hugging each other and apologizing for their fight. Next was Sierra, who instantly went to yell at Tyler for using Cody's EpiPen. Duncan woke next, still angry at his team for counting on him so much. Next up was Harold, as it was 7:21 in the morning at that point and that's when he usually woke up. "Crap, a lot of our people are already awake..." Tyler said. The log he and Justin were sitting on suddenly rolled away forcibly, causing both Tyler and Justin to fall flat on their face. As Justin got up, he saw Alejandro, who had apparently also woken, walking away with a smirk on his face.

"Uhh... Did we win?" Leshawna said as she woke up. "Nooo! And now only Heather is left!" Sierra said. "Aw, damn." Leshawna responded, disappointed in herself. "Zizzy Dizzy! Woof Woof!" Izzy ran over to the sleeping campers and barked. DJ woke up, reacting to animal noises, leaving only Courtney and Geoff asleep for their team. Unfortunately for Team Radiance, Trent also woke up, losing the game for them.

"SLEEPY CAMPERS, WAKE UP! YOU HAVE WON THE CHALLENGE FOR YOUR TEAM AND YOU ARE NOT IN TROUBLE THIS TIME!" Chris yelled into his megaphone. "Huh? I'll call the police!" Courtney yelled, waking up. "Don't wanna be stuck..." Geoff muttered before waking up. Heather got up, looking around. "I won? Yes!"

[Of course I won. The rest of the campers are weak. You need power and energy to do a challenge like this one.] - Eva

[I don't think I'm happy with the trade I made with Cody, but I can't do anything now! I'm as useless as toast. Hmm, toast.] - Owen

* * *

"Hey, Owen, Trent, Sadie, Justin!" Beth walked towards the campers, who were walking towards the confessional cam, defeated. "Who are you going to vote for?" "Oh, umm, I dunno...", the four campers mumbled. "Well, maybe you should vote for Tyler!" Beth said. "Why?" Owen asked. "Well, something with him using an EpiPen, which sends you right off after a while, so he kinda lost for you there..." Beth said, spitting on Justin a few times. "And he was the first one to wake up as well..." "Why do you want us to vote on Tyler so bad?" Trent asked. "Well, let's just say I have a score to settle with someone..." Beth said. "Oh my god, I know who you mean! I'll vote for Tyler!" Sadie said. "Thanks, you guys!" Beth said excitedly, and hopped away.

"Nice one, Eva." Noah said. "Yeah, Zizzy fell asleep somehow! And I know of over fifty energy giving herbs on this island!" Izzy said, hopping around. "Ah well, someone needed to do it... You certainly weren't doing it. Where did you go anyway?" "What are you... talking about? I was never... gone!" Noah said, hesitating. "Right." Eva said, with part of her unibrow raised.

"Chris!" Chris sighed and turned around to Cody. "What do you annoying kids want from me all the time?" Chris yelled. "I have the pictures." Cody replied. "Oh great, now you have them as well?" "No, I took them from Owen." "Great, so now you're gonna make me let you win?" "Oh, that's not what I want..." "What do you want, then?" "A restraining order."

* * *

"And the votes have been counted!" Chris said, as the six campers of Team Radiance sat near the campfire. "Five marshmallows, six campers..." "Yeah, yeah, we know the drill. How hard was it for you to count six votes anyway?" Duncan asked. "Did you have to start over?", he laughed. "SHUT IT!" Chris yelled. "Or do you want me to just kick you off the show right away?" "Go ahead, _sir_."

"Justin." Justin came to get his marshmallow, taking his shirt off when he got too close to the fire. Sadie squee'd.

"Sadie." Sadie ran over and "accidentally" put her hand on Justin's chest while getting the marshmallow.

"Duncan." Duncan grinned at Trent before getting his marshmallow.

"Trent." Duncan watched, pissed off, as Trent took his marshmallow.

"Owen and Tyler. The two of you are left, and there's only one marshmallow on my plate. The person to get that marshmallow is..."

"Owen."

* * *

"I vote for Trent. That loser has got to get his deranged mind and out-of-tune guitar out of here!" Duncan yelled, throwing his vote into the box.

"I vote for Tyler. When Beth gets that scary, you listen to her." Justin said, putting his vote in.

"I vote for Tyler, since Beth told me to. I wonder why she's angry at Tyler..." Owen said, putting his vote into the box, getting his hand stuck.

"Oh my god, I totally vote for Tyler." Sadie said, putting her vote in and squealing nervously.

"I vote for Duncan. I know Beth told me to vote for Tyler, but that guy is a pain in the ass, and... he stole Gwen from me!" Trent yelled.

"I vote for Owen, because of the EpiPen he gave me, which didn't work at all!" Tyler said, putting his vote in the box, accidentally hitting his face with the camera.

* * *

"What?" Lindsay came out from behind the bushes and ran over to Tyler. "I can't believe you're going already! I'll miss you, Tyler!"

Tyler smiled and waved at her as the boat started on its trip. He took a step forward, slipped on a puddle of water and hit his chin.

Lindsay turned around at the other campers. "Why did you vote Tyler off?" Lindsay asked them.

"Well, Beth told us to, really..." Owen said.

"Beth? Oh, she's going down now!" Lindsay said, walking away.

"Wow! There's some pressure in this group already! I like it! So, what questions are still unanswered? Why did Noah end up with Cody again? What's the history behind the name "Zizzy Dizzy", and who will be voted off next? See some of that on the next episode of Total. Drama. Tournament!"

* * *

"Ow... I can't believe I got voted off again! I cannot win this! I've been hurt far too long on this show for me to lose again! And I don't even know why they voted me off! My best guess is that is was all Owen's fault. Him and the EpiPen? Weird!"

"OW! Why is there a nail sticking out there? Owww!"

* * *

Ah, finally done.

Well, school starts tomorrow (crap), so probably less frequent updates. Sorry!

And I don't have the time to proofread, so you'll get the unedited version now. (With Tyler's elimination speech added, sorry for that.)

See ya next time, and remember to leave a review! It's directly connected to the updates, you know.


	4. Volley Bomb

Well, I'm back again! I hate it when I update my story and then for a while it's just missing from the story list. How are people supposed to know about this?

And I'm incredibly sorry that I forgot the elimination speech. I guess I was just tired, and I just didn't realize I still had to make it.

Anyway, I'm starting a new chapter now, at 9 pm, so I probably won't finish it anytime soon. My new school schedule sucks beyond compare, so I just won't have the time.

Disclaimer: ...Who do you think I am?

Let's do this! ...Over a long period of time.

* * *

"...Right. Can you come over today? Good. I want the pictures in my hands as soon as possible, you hear me? ...Oh... Uhh, welcome to Total Drama Tournament! Last time, Tyler was the second camper to be eliminated, and we've been informed that he managed to land himself in the hospital since then. That guy needs to find himself a carer."

"Anyways, I'm standing here with the campers, at the beautiful beach!" "This could quite possibly be the worst beach I've ever seen!" Heather yelled out.

"Doesn't matter. Anyway, as you can see, there's a nice volleyball net set up here..."

"I don't think they've set it up right." Trent piped up, pointing at the net. It seemed more like there were two nets, joined at the middle, forming a sort of plus sign.

"Yes it is, actually! We're gonna play volleyball, with four teams!" Chris said, excitedly.

"And how exactly would that work?" Gwen asked.

"Every team chooses two players. They stand together, in one of the corners of the net. They then play the ball over the net, going clockwise. We got the little carpets out again, so get your players over to their carpet!"

"Ooh! Me! Me!" Lindsay yelled out, jumping up and down with her hand in the air. "Didn't think so. Bridgette, what do you think? Shall we play together?" Courtney asked Bridgette. As Lindsay walked back to the rest of her team, disappointed, Bridgette hesitated. "I'm not so sure... Geoff?" "Oh no, you go play, honey! I'll stand by the sidelines." Geoff told her. "Well... Okay then..." Bridgette and Courtney walked over to their corner.

"Who's gonna play here? 'Cause I know I'm sure as hell not doing it..." Noah said. "Of course you're not." Gwen said, rolling her eyes. Eva walked over to the carpet, and Izzy followed her, doing cartwheels.

"Well... I can't possibly hurt my face any further, so I can't play. What do you think, Sadie?" "Oh my god, I totally agree!" Sadie hugged Justin and then proceeded to do a little dance around him. "I'll do it!" Duncan and Trent yelled out at the same time. They glared at each other. "No, I'll do it! No, I'LL do it! Shut up!", they said, simultaneously. "Enough! Why don't you... both do it?" Justin said, like he was talking to a bunch of 6-year olds. "...Fine."

Alejandro saw Trent and Duncan walking over to the net and turned to his team. "I think it would be best to sit this one out. I feel my expertise would be better saved for a later time...", he said. "That is such a lame excuse!" Heather said. "Well, if the two of you aren't gonna do it, I sure as hell ain't gonna stay on the sidelines!" Leshawna said. Katie nodded, walking out as well. "Oh my god, I love volleyball!"

"Well, that's settled! Team Radiance begins, passing the ball to Team Dizzy. Oh, and by the way, this is your ball!" Chris threw a bomb at Duncan. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!", he exclaimed. "Nope! Don't worry, it's only a small explosion! Hehe... If you all happen to play well, this bomb will add some extra fun to the game!" "Oh, yeah, 'cause this is such fun..." Noah said, from the sidelines. "SHUT! IT!" Chris yelled at him.

Chris whistled. "GO!" Duncan threw the bomb at Eva, who continued to smash the ball at Bridgette, who only barely managed to throw it over to Katie. She made a swift move, throwing it over to Trent. Trent missed, making the bomb fall to the ground and explode, sending Trent several feet away. Duncan had to take a few minutes to stop laughing. He caught the new bomb Chris threw at him, passing it over to Izzy, who juggled it for a few seconds. A few seconds too long, unfortunately, because she ended up being blown away as well, laughing the entire way.

Eva shook her head as Chris passed her the new bomb. She threw it over to Courtney, who tripped, but still managed to hit it over the net, to Leshawna, who passed it to Duncan. He threw it towards Eva, who smashed it so hard Bridgette was destined to be blown away, by the bomb if not by the sheer force of Eva's throw. But miraculously enough, she managed to pass it to Leshawna, who couldn't reach the bomb and fell over onto the bomb right before it exploded, leaving her a little woozy after she landed. (AN: Thank god this is a cartoon universe...)

Katie took the bomb, throwing it over to Duncan, who threw it over to Eva right away. The game went on like this for a while without anyone being eliminated. Duncan caught the bomb and swiftly passed it over to Eva, who tried to smash it towards Bridgette, but failed due to the bomb exploding. She got blown away, landing in the sand. After realizing what happened, she became so angry she almost looked more explosive than the bomb.

"Alright! Team Dizzy has been eliminated, so we're moving on!" Chris led the remaining players to another net, this time divided up into three parts. He then threw a bomb at Courtney, who smashed it over the net, making Katie miss it, sending her into the air. "Oh my god! Katie!" Sadie shrieked, running off to fetch her friend. "...And moving on..." Chris said, walking over to the final net, which was a traditional net. Except it was an electrical fence.

"Make sure not to hit the net, as that would just be... shocking!" Chris said, the last word in sync with Noah, who saw the lame pun coming. "Bridgette and Courtney, over here. Duncan, over here. ...You're screwed, dude." Chris sniggered. "Can it!" Duncan growled at him. He catched the bomb and threw it over the fence. Courtney passed it back to him with terrifying ferocity. He threw it back with equal passion. For a while, it was just a game between Duncan and Courtney, until Bridgette yelled: "Courtney! Pass it to me!" Courtney passed the bomb to Bridgette, and the two continued to juggle the bomb between them for a while. Then, Courtney passed it over to Duncan, who knew he had to act fast. Unfortunately, he slipped just a bit, causing him to hit the electric fence, shocking him. Courtney smashed the bomb back onto Duncan, who was lying on the ground, blowing him away.

"Courtney and Bridgette! You're the winners of the first round!" Courtney and Bridgette high-fived, and Geoff scoffed. "Now, the three remaining teams, come with me!" The three teams walked over to where Chris led them, while Team Starlight went to hang out around the campgrounds. "You know, I know that you voted off Taylor." Lindsay said to Beth. "...Tyler, Lindsay. And I couldn't vote him off, I'm not on his team, remember?" This left Lindsay confused. "I'm glad I didn't have to participate on this challenge!' DJ told Geoff. "I'm so sure I would have hit something..." "Don't you think it's time to do something about this animal curse?" Geoff answered. "What should I do about it?" DJ asked. "Ummm..." was all Geoff had in return. "Thought so." DJ said, sitting down onto a mouse.

"The next challenge is the Flag Run!" Chris exclaimed. "There's a flag in the sand up ahead. Every team chooses a player. This camper has to run over to the flag as fast as possible and catch it before the other players! Whoever wins gains invincibility for their team, and the teams that lose have to compete in a volley..."ball" death match!" Chris said. Both Justin and Alejandro's ears perked up at the words "death match". "Ooh! I'll do this one!" Justin said. "Allow me to participate in this challenge for our team." Alejandro said as he saw Justin walking up to the starting line.

"So? Eva and Izzy aren't allowed to participate in this one, so who's gonna do this one?" Gwen asked her team. Noah and Cody both took a step backwards. "Seriously? You're gonna have to participate in a challenge at some point!" Gwen complained, walking over to the starting line. "Next one, we promise!" Cody yelled at her. "You promise, you mean..." Noah muttered. Eva glared at him. "You better get into action really fast, you little shrimp! I don't even know why I joined that stupid-" She was cut off by Izzy and Noah talking really loudly. "SO, WHERE DID THE NAME "ZIZZY DIZZY" COME FROM?" Noah yelled. "I DUNNO, I JUST THOUGHT IT SOUNDED FUN! LIKE KALEIDOSCOPE!" Izzy yelled back. Noah looked over at Eva, who had gotten the message. "...Great.", he said. "AND I THINK THIS ONE'S A KEEPER! LIKE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!" Izzy said, not realizing she didn't have to yell anymore. Noah shushed her and looked over at Cody, who was giving the three of them a weird look. "...Are you guys-" "We're not really anything! Why do you even ask? Huh?" Eva yelled, reacting in a panic.

"Oh, and the path could possibly be riddled with explosives. Aaaand... GO!" The three campers ran off. Justin pretty much made no effort to look like he was trying, actually running in a circle at one point. "What is this moron doing?" Duncan shouted. Sadie gasped and slapped him. Trent chuckled.

Alejandro, however, was already way ahead, with Gwen struggling to even try to keep up. "Come on Gwen! You can take him!" Cody yelled out. "Highly doubtful." Noah snarked. "Oh come on! Don't let that Spanish bastard defeat us! GWEN!" Eva roared. "I'm trying!" Gwen yelled back. Bridgette walked up to Team Dizzy. "How's it going?", she asked. "Take a look for yourself..." Noah sighed. Bridgette looked over to see Alejandro, far ahead. "Crap. Hey, why is he constantly looking down?"

"Why is that thick-headed scumbag constantly looking down?" Heather hissed. Alejandro really was looking down a lot. What was he trying to find? Everyone's attention was drawn away from him for a second, as Justin had hit a bomb. He was flung away for about a mile, screeching all the way. "MY BODY!", he screamed. Sadie gasped, whereas Katie apparently couldn't care less, still transfixed with Alejandro, who was nearly at the flag. But then, he hit what he was apparently looking for: A bomb, which made him fly away, though he didn't go as far as Justin. "Mierda...", he uttered, although not entirely convincingly. "Ugh!" Heather huffed.

Gwen watched as Alejandro launched. She hadn't expected that one. Obviously, you had to be pretty stupid (a quality she had expected of Justin, but not him...) to not see the bumps that indicated a bomb was hidden there. She had avoided all the bombs, but she hadn't been able to do so as fast as Alejandro. Until his focus slipped for a second, apparently... Gwen realized she could still win, and she hurried over to the flag and grabbed it. She had won! As her team ran over to her, cheering, she smiled. She was useful after all! She really had been worrying her lesser usefulness would have her eliminated at some point. She was such a good competitor in Season 1, but it all went downhill after that. This was just the thing she needed. She had saved her team! She walked back to the campgrounds with the flag still in her hands, as Chris led the remaining two teams back to the electrical fence.

"And here, we have the final part of the challenge: the Volley Ball Run Around!" "Umm...What?" Harold asked. "What, you never learned about this at Some Steve Guy's Volleyball Camp? I'm starting to think you just got sent to so many camps because your parents wanted you out of the house!" Heather quipped. "Wow, and that's coming from you? I think your parents are ecstatic about this show, since it means you won't be in the house for the season!" Leshawna shot back.

Cody walked into his bunk. He seriously wanted candy like, right now. He grabbed his stash, decided the others might want some as well, and turned around. In front of him were three huge men, all dressed in a black suit. "Uhh... Can I help you?" Cody asked, nervously. "We've been informed that you are in the possession of several photographs which have private matters on it. We would like those photographs, please.", the guy in the middle droned. "But I can't give you those!" Cody said. "Well, then you leave us no choice." The man pulled out a gun.

* * *

"O-kay, easy now..." Cody took a step back. "Give us the pictures." "You can't shoot me! It's against the law! There's camera's everywhere!" "Yeah, but who will ever air this? Certainly not Chris..." "But... You can't do this! People will find out!" "We have created a fairly accurate clone of you, in case you don't give us the pictures. But I think you've got a very easy choice to make. You can't have hidden the pictures too great. Either you give us the pictures right now, or we kill you and find the pictures ourselves. What do you think?" "...Okay then... I don't get why Chris doesn't let me have a damn restraining order, but if he wants the pictures that badly..." He reached for his mattress, under which he had hidden the pictures. But as he grabbed them, he heard a distinctive voice behind him.

"Get your slimy slimehands off Cody!" Izzy yelled as she kicked one of the mercenaries unconscious, while Eva knocked another out. The third mercenary, the one with the gun, managed to hold them off, however. "Well, it seems your friends made a choice for you. A sad, sad choice for you..." He held out his arm, only to find his gun had mysteriously vanished. "Looking for this?" The mercenary turned around to see Noah holding the gun. "Get out now, and never come back, if you care at all about your own life." The mercenary woke up his colleagues and they fled. Chef poked his head around the door to see what all the trouble was about. Noah walked up to him.

"I don't know who exactly got mercenaries involved, but I want you to tell Chris that if he ever tries something like this again, I will make sure the entire cast of the show comes after him, and we will shoot to kill.", he said, placing the gun in Chef's hand. "Just because we don't have guns, doesn't mean we won't get... _inventive_." Chef nodded and walked off.

The three turned around to face Cody, who was speechless. "I... I can't..." "You're welcome, Cody. You didn't think we'd actually let someone die, right?" Noah said. "Chris'd better think twice before he tries something like this again!" Eva roared. "Ha ha! That was fun!" Izzy said, earning a look from the other three.

"Well, thanks anyway. You saved my life!" Cody finally said. "No problem." Noah said, as the three started to walk off, mostly to find Chris, and in Noah's case, to freak out about what he just did, although he would never admit that to anyone. "Wait, guys?" Cody said. Although Eva didn't react at first, Noah and Izzy turned around, with Noah grabbing Eva's arm before she walked away. "I swear, that's just straight up steroids...", he muttered. "I know you guys are in an alliance. You're really bad at covering it up..." Cody said. Eva, Izzy and Noah looked at each other nervously. "Could I join?" Cody asked. "Oh, of course! Woo! We're taking over the world!" Izzy yelled. "...In other words, yes." Noah said.

* * *

"Okay, guys, enough complaining! This is the challenge! If you refuse, you're probably gonna get voted off. _Heather_!" Chris said to the whiny teens, turning towards Heather in particular. "I'll repeat the rules one more time, seeing as some of you obviously haven't been listening. After you pass the... "ball", you walk over to stand in the line on the other side. The next person in the line behind you then has to take over for you, and so on and so on. Got it?" The campers nodded. "Kay. Go make an order to stand in!"

Harold instantly got in front of the line, but Heather pulled him back to the end of the line. Trent and Duncan barged to the front of the line, pushing each other until Duncan finally got first in the line. Justin followed. Alejandro took notice of this. "Ladies first." He said to Katie. When Heather, Sierra and Leshawna tried to stand in front of him, he pushed them back. "I said ladies."

[Oh no he didn't!] - Leshawna

[That rotten piece of scum! I am so getting him out of here for that comment! And for last season! And for...] - Heather

[...Cody...] - Sierra

"Alright, seems like you've got an order... Oh, except for the fact that Team Radiance only has 5 members, so Team Defeat, someone has to sit this one out..." Everybody pushed Heather out of the line. "Ugh! Fine. I'll just watch you fail!", she said, storming off to the sidelines, where several members of the other two teams were watching.

"So, it's Duncan, Trent, Justin, Sadie and Owen over at Team Radiance, and Katie, Alejandro, Sierra, Leshawna and Harold for Team Defeat!" Chris observed. "And... GO!" He threw another bomb at Duncan. "This wouldn't be fun without a bomb, would it?" "Oh, I beg to differ!" Duncan yelled as he passed the bomb. Katie managed to pass it to Trent, who had a bit of trouble, but he managed to throw it to Alejandro. Who then continued to smash the bomb into Justin, who didn't stand a chance. He flew off, getting pissed off. "Again?!"

"Haha. Nice one!" Chris said, throwing the bomb to Sierra, who wasn't paying any attention (Cody had just walked onto the sidelines to watch), so she got blown up. "Wow. That was fast." Chris said, throwing the bomb at Sadie, who passed it towards Leshawna. Leshawna passed Sadie's weak throw to Owen with ease, and Owen... pretty much just stood there. Harold didn't expect the bomb to bounce off Owen's fat and hit him in the face, however.

"God, you guys suck at this!" Chris laughed, throwing the ball at Duncan, who couldn't react as he was laughing too hard at Harold's... "departure". "Guys! At least try for the camera's! You suuuck!" Chris now yelled, throwing the ball towards Katie, who didn't fail at passing it for once. The game managed to hold on like this for a little while, until Leshawna got the bomb. She then decided to only give it a weak pass, and her plan worked: While Owen wasn't paying attention, the bomb hit him, soft enough so it wouldn't bounce away. It blew up, causing Owen to move several inches.

Chris gave Katie another bomb, which she passed over to Trent, who smashed it towards Alejandro, who still managed to pass it to Sadie, though softly, so Sadie would be able to handle it. Giggling, she passed it to Leshawna, who threw the bomb at Trent. Trent passed it to Alejandro, which was exactly the moment the bomb exploded. Alejandro got blown away again, landing on his ass. "Finally!" Chris yelled, giving Sadie the bomb. She passed it to Leshawna, who attacked Trent with the bomb. Trent managed to get it over the net, but only barely, so Katie had to jump forward to pass the bomb, but hit the electric fence in the process. The bomb exploded, forcing her into the ground. After Alejandro helped her out, Chris passed the bomb to Sadie.

The three remaining campers had to run faster and faster to pass the bomb. "I'm getting... tired..." Leshawna said. "Oh my god, me... too..." Sadie agreed. "I'm fine!" Trent said as Sadie passed the bomb to Leshawna. "Ooh, that's it! I am done with you catching all my damn throws! Catch this!" Leshawna yelled out, smashing the ball at Trent. He got the bomb in his stomach, blowing him away. "Nice." Chris said. "Well, now that only the two of you are left, this becomes a fairly standard game of volleyball...", he added. "Yeah, except that the ball is a bomb and the net is an electric fence..." Leshawna deadpanned. "Except that. Now catch!" He smashed the bomb towards Leshawna, who had trouble passing it towards Sadie.

The match was a grueling one, and the bomb just would not go off! The campers on the sidelines started to leave, going off to do something other than watching Lashawna and Sadie throw a bomb over an electric fence. Heather, Harold, Alejandro, Katie, Justin, Duncan and Trent stayed, with Heather yelling at Leshawna, Harold looking at the bomb nervously, Alejandro watching Harold eye the bomb, evil clearly in his eyes, Katie being nervous for Sadie more than for her own team, Justin keeping an eye on Alejandro, and Duncan and Trent were half yelling at each other, half watching the game.

"You're really nervous, aren't you?" Alejandro said to Harold. "Well, yeah, umm, it's a bomb and an electric fence and..." Harold stuttered. "No, you're nervous for Lehsawna. You really do love her." "None of your business." Harold answered. "Just tell her. You need to tell her before it's too late. What if she loses this and is sent home?" Alejandro said, knowing he'd get what he wanted. Harold was silent for a few seconds, and then yelled: "I LOVE YOU, LESHAWNA!" "I-skinny legs say what?" Leshawna said as Sadie passed the bomb. It blew up, flinging Leshawna away. "Well, that was just poor timing, mi amigo." Harold glared at Alejandro, and then ran off.

"Congratulations, Sadie! You won the final challenge, and your team is also safe... this time!" Chris said. "Which means that Team Defeat is actually defeated this time! You gotta vote someone out."

* * *

"Chris?" Chef walked into Chris's room. "Yes?" Chris was sitting in the hot tub, a little irritated at Chef's invasion of his privacy. Thank god for bubbles. "Think fast." Chef threw the gun at Chris, who catched it. "Noah gave me this. I'm guessing you haven't gotten the pictures back yet?" "Oh crap! The pictures!" "Seems like your mercenaries were scared off before they could kill Cody. What the hell are you doing anyway, killing contestants?" "Hah! This baby isn't even loaded. They were just meant to scare little Cody into giving me the pictures." "The pictures that you still don't have." "Shush." "What are on those pictures anyway?" Chris jumped out of the tub, privacy having apparently taken a backseat. "Never ask me that question again." "Well, whatever it is, it can't be much worse than this here..." Chef said, pointing towards Chris's... area without actually looking at it. Chris grabbed a towel and shoo'd Chef out.

"You brought it upon yourself, you know." Beth said. Lindsay looked up from reading her magazine (which she had read 4 times already). "What?" "You were rude. You chose fame over friendship. What happened?" "...I went to audition for a movie." Lindsay went back to reading the magazine. "Wow!" Beth momentarily forgot about her anger. "Yeah, and an ugly girl stepped into the room before me. I heard them laughing at her, and they sent her out without even letting her audition." Lindsay said without looking up from her magazine. "Well, I don't care! One day I will make it. Just like you!" "It's a harsh world out there. You have to be pretty to make it." "I can't believe this! You were never shallow!" Courtney snorted from her bunk.

"You don't love me." Leshawna said as she walked into the men's cabin. She entirely ignored Alejandro, who was lying there shirtless, and walked over to Harold. "What?" "You don't love me. You were influenced by something, or someone," She glared at Alejandro, "but the point is, you said something you didn't mean. You need to calm down. Please." Harold got up and stood in front of her. "I meant every word I said. Everything about you is amazing to me, and you cannot do wrong. You amaze me." Leshawna sighed. "Then you're even more stupid than I thought." She walked away, leaving Harold, now and forever.

* * *

"Well, your clever little "Opposite of Team Victory" trick got you out of trouble... for two episodes. Now, it's time for one person to walk the Dock of Shame and board the Boat of Losers. Now, from this episode on, everybody just had to say who they were gonna vote on, as the box we used to have has already been damaged after a whopping two episodes. So, now we find out how your team has voted!"

"First one safe is... Katie!" "EEEEE!"

"Next up, we have... Leshawna!" Leshawna walked up to get her marshmallow, and then turned facing Harold.

"And... Sierra! You've still managed to not be voted off! How, I'll never know..."

"The person who recieves the next marshmallow is... Heather!" Heather smirked as she got her marshmallow.

"One marshmallow. Two campers. You both know what you've done to get here." Both campers gave Chris a funny look.

"Seriously? Alejandro, you blew yourself up during the second challenge, and were rude to several of your teammates." Alejandro shrugged.

"Harold, you ruined the last challenge by being a hormone-filled teenager." Leshawna shook her head.

"Now, the last one to get a marshmallow..."

"Please, Leshawna. If I leave, know that I will always remember you." Harold said, his voice weak.

"Do not interrupt me, goddamnit! The last one to get a marshmallow..."

Leshawna sighed, and Katie and Sierra gasped.

"Alejandro."

* * *

[I vote for Harold. What a foolish man, letting me influence him even after Season 3.] - Alejandro

[I vote for Heather, because I have tried to make her a better person, and failed.] - Harold

[I vote for Alejandro. Like I wouldn't notice what he did! Even if it is with a dweeb like Harold!] - Heather

[Oh my god, I totally vote for Harold, because he totally made us lose! Totally.] - Katie

[I vote for... Harold. He and I are over, and if he doesn't think so, then I can't face him anymore.] - Leshawna

[I vote for Aleheinous! He was totally weird with the second challenge! Like, WTF!] - Sierra

* * *

"Well, Harold, it's time for you to take that ticking time bomb of hormones the hell out of here!" Chris said, pointing towards the Dock of Shame.

Heather watched as Leshawna sat down, refusing to look at Harold. "Why do you even care, anyway? I thought you didn't like him anymore.", she asked. "He's done nothing wrong. I've hurt him, and hut him over and over again. He doesn't deserve any of it..." Leshawna said. She got up and walked towards the cabins.

Harold silently got onto the Boat of Losers, and sighed as it started to depart. "Gosh."

"The guys really aren't lucky this season, are they? And still so many questions! I love it! Will Heather get Alejandro out? Will Alejandro get Justin out? Will Cody get his goddamn restraining order? And what is on those pictures? You won't hear the answer to that, but other things will be revealed on the next episode of Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!

* * *

"Gosh."

* * *

I really can't make a good exit statement for Harold...

I actually finished this the day after I started it. In lieu of doing my first homework of the year, of course, but okay...

I have this weird thing where in a lot of things, I confuse the names Harold with Howard, and accidentally type the wrong one. Think it has something to do with the "if the fsrit and lsat ltreets of a wrod are in the rhgit pacle, you can slitl raed the etrnie wrod" thing.

So that's chapter/episode/whatever four sorted! I kinda wanted to keep Harold in longer for the Harold/Leshawna thing, but others had important plotlines as well. Eventually, Leshawna and Harold were just the least meant to be.

So, review, tell me if I forgot anything because I totally forgot Tyler's speech at first, tell me what you think about the storylines, and review! Wait, I already said that, didn't I?


	5. The Pole Nine Yards

I'm back! Well, kinda...

School has started, and it's grueling. In terms of boringness, that is. All day all I want is a lot of free time so I can finish a chapter in one day. Luckily, I have not one, not two, not three, but six free periods in between the rest of my classes, so if I happen to not have anything to do and a bit of privacy (FanFiction and high school do not a good mix make), writing might end up involved.

I've had trouble with thinking up who had to go next and considered making it a rewards challenge, but I hate those, so I think I'll only do one of those to make it 26 chapters, just like the actual show, with perhaps an epilogue in the form of a special. This chapter is not going to be that chapter.

And I added a warning about the (slight) spoilers in the reviews, so that people don't read things in advance, because I hate when I do that and then I'm all like "know that... know that... know that..."

Also in regards to the reviews, I need help with something. The elimination ceremony is always annoying to make, because if you just happen to look down while reading, it's kind of a spoiler in itself. For like a few seconds, but still. So help me with that please. And other things you write in the review, mostly speculation, is fine, but please try to say what you like or don't like about the writing and especially about the plotline, so I can improve on that.

Kay, now that I've got that out of the way, I can totally start writing... Oh, wait.

Disclaimer: This is just taking too much time.

Happy reading!

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama Tournament: BOOM! That was basically it. Oh, and some of the campers caught a flag or something like that. Almost everyone, but especially Justin, got caught in an explosion the size of a small explosion! Harold ended up voted off because he loved Lashawna. Ew, love. I'd kick that guy out right away!"

"So, Cody, the restraining order is here." Cody's eyes grew to double their size. "Really? Not joking? No Chris bait and switch stuff?", he questioned, trying to deduce Chris's motives. "Just give me the pictures." "After I sign the restraining order." Cody specified. "Yes. Here we go." "And this is the real thing? No fake?" Cody continued. "SIGN." Chris said, throwing a pen at Cody's face. "Right here. We got Courtney here to prove it's real." Courtney got pushed in by Chef. "Courtney?" Chris said, turning to her. "Umm...Yes?" Courtney said, looking around before focusing on Cody. "What's going on?" "We need you to make sure this thing's real. Seeing as you've got such experience with the law..." "And not like Duncan, I would like to point out." "Of course." "Alright, let's see..." Courtney grabbed the piece of paper.

"...And from that, and the factors I pointed out before, I can conclude that this document is real." Courtney said two hours later, laying the piece of paper down on the table. Chris had long since fallen asleep. "Chris, wake up!" Cody said. "It's real. I'm signing." Chris woke, handing Cody another pen. "Aaand... done." Cody handed the restraining order to Chris. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go sleep. It's 3 am, for god's sake." Cody handed Chris the pictures and he and Courtney walked out. "What am I doing awake at 2 am anyway?" Courtney said while closing the door behind her. "And they're mine again. Perfect."

Cody walked out of his cabin about 15 minutes later and walked over to the lodge to find Courtney there. "What are you doing here? At 2:17, no less..." Cody mocked, looking on his watch. "Chris just personally messed up my sleeping schedule. My biological clock is screwed up!" Courtney complained. "Yeah, I can't sleep either. Have to enjoy my newfound freedom a bit, I guess." Cody said, sitting down. "Yeah, lucky you." Courtney said. "We still have to deal with Sierra on a daily-wait." She stood, suddenly. "Are you sure the restraining order was against Sierra?" Cody thought for a second and then bolted out of the door.

"It's against Sierra." Cody said, walking into the lodge, finding not only Courtney, but also Bridgette there. Courtney looked up. Bridgette and she had just been strategizing. Well, she had. Bridgette didn't seem focused. Like most of the people here. Maybe that was because it was about 2:30 in the morning. Cody sat down. "What could he be doing, then?" "He could have put a tiny "0," in front of the restraining order, so it'd only be 3 decimetres..." Courtney answered. Bridgette looked at the two. What were they talking about? "Well, I'm too tired to go check." "Guys!" Bridgette exclaimed. The two turned to her. "What are you talking about?"

"Restraining order." Cody answered flatly, without further explanation. "Against Sierra, I presume?" Bridgette asked, although the answer was fairly clear. "Good. Never liked that girl." Courtney looked at Bridgette with a suprised look on her face, laughing. "Really? But you're always so relaxed and... I thought you liked everyone?" "Well, you know that's a lie. Can't stand Duncan, Alejandro, Heather, or Eva." "And Sierra, apparently!" Courtney said, still laughing. Cody started sniggering as well. He didn't really know why, he just knew that on the rare moments that Courtney did laugh, it was kinda infectious. And plus, she's always right anyway, so when she's laughing, something must be pretty funny, right?

"Well, what don't you like about her?" Courtney asked. "Too... hyper boing boing psycho." Bridgette answered. Courtney about fell off the bench. "Hyper boing boing psycho psycho psycho, you mean..." Cody said, starting to laugh now too. Even Bridgette was giggling. Courtney was losing it. "She's a crazy bitch and you are a genius!", she yelled out. The other two laughed out loud (or LOL as Sierra would put it), but Courtney suddenly stopped laughing, becoming deadly serious again. Cody stopped as well. "Wow Courtney, way to get creepy there." Courtney turned towards Cody.

"How'd you do it?" "Whaddaya mean?" "How'd you get Chris to give you a restraining order?" "Umm... I was very convincing?" "Really?" Courtney said. "Well, I have some things I want to arrange..." "I'm not that convincing, Courtney." Cody said as he got up. Bridgette chuckled. "Come on Courtney. Let's go to bed." "I guess..." Courtney said. She got up and followed Bridgette out. When she got to the door, she turned towards Cody again. "Hey, I think it's awesome you got the restraining order. I can't wait to see Sierra's face when she hears about it!" She walked out. Cody smiled. "Me neither."

* * *

"Alright campers! Before we do today's challenge, I have some very important news. Cody asked me for a favor-" "Ooh, Cody! What kind of favor did you ask for?" Sierra asked excitedly. "Yeah, Cody, what did you ask?" Courtney said, smirking. "Stop interrupting! He asked me for a favor, and being the kind and considerate host I am-" "Hah! You, kind and considerate? The only person more evil than Alejandro here is you!" Heather sneered. "SHUSH! How many times do I have to tell you people to shut! Up!" Cody pulled his collar nervously. "Just hurry up, Chris!"

"Right. Being the kind and considerate host that I am, and shut it, I complied. And that means that we now have a restraining order in order!" Most of the campers gasped. Bridgette smirked, Noah started laughing, Heather nodded her head in approval, and Courtney clapped her hands and giggled. Lindsay raised her hand. "What's a resting order?" "A restraining order, Lindsay!" Beth said. "Lindsiot.", she added, muttering under her breath. "Yeah, that." Lindsay said. "A restraining order means that the person it's against, cannot come closer than, in this case, 3 metres to the person who signed it. So Sierra here? 3 metres. You're currently way closer. Scoot." Sierra ran away, crying. Eva, Noah and Izzy walked up to Cody. "Didn't think you had it in you. Good one there." Eva said, amused by the whole thing. "Thanks." Cody said. "Does this mean I'm now officially part of the alliance?", he asked in a hushed tone. "Are you kidding? You always were." Noah said.

"Now! Campers, follow me. Someone from Team Defeat, make sure Sierra comes along, but remember, 3 metres!" Chris said, walking off into the woods. Heather stormed off. "Crazy hose beast seriously found competition..."

[I've never felt more free in my life. Those pictures saved me!] - Cody

[I have to say, Cody really earned my respect here. Blackmailing Chris? Genius!] - Courtney

[Wow. I did not see that coming. Well, it's gonna be great to see Sierra squirm from Cody withdrawal. Damn, Cody is actually pretty awesome! I mean, wow...] - Noah

[But I thought we were meant to be? I can't believe this! My life is over! Our life is over! OH, CODYYYYYY...] - Sierra

[...Get the hell out of here and come along, you stalker sap!] - Heather, pulling Sierra out of the confessional.

"And here we are!" Chris said. "Holy, what the hell is that?" Leshawna uttered. "It's just a few poles you'll have to climb." Chris said flippantly. "Every team has their own row of poles. You climb up the first one, and then use the ropes that we hung up to swing to the other poles." "I dunno, Chris, those ropes look kinda flimsy..." Trent said. "What, are you some kind of wuss?" Duncan yelled in his face. "Hell no! Bring it!" Trent shouted back. Gwen ran over and stood in between them. "Stop it! Just calm down, okay?"

"Thank you Gwen. I wasn't freaking done yet! If you fall, you have to get back in line. If you do make it to the middle pole, you know, the big one, you then have to enter the arena. If you make it first, you get this awesome armor! If you come second, this old, but still fairly robust armor is all yours. If you make it third, you get this wooden armor, and if you come in last, you get nothing. In the arena, you have to manage to beat all of the other fighters, you win the challenge. Got it?" The campers nodded. Well, most of them. Sierra sobbed. "GO!"

Heather instantly started climbing up the pole. After slipping a few times, she started climbing up at a fairly good pace. "I am going to win and I am going to throw three morons off that pole!"

"Alright, seeing as I have to participate at some point, I'll just do it now..." Noah said. He started climbing, but couldn't get up. Eva shook her head, grabbed him, and threw him up into the air. He grabbed the pole on his way down and climbed to the top of it. "Gee, thanks for endangering my life there!", he yelled down. "No problem!" Eva yelled back.

Duncan and Trent fought for the first climb up. They ended up fighting each other instead of doing the challenge, and as Noah fell down, Gwen ran over. "Stop! For god's sake, cut it out!" "If that dumb fucker would just let me through, we wouldn't have a problem now!" Duncan glowered. "I think he punched me nine times!", he continued.

The two walked back to the pole, only to see Owen trying to climb up the pole. "Uh, what's this?" Trent asked. "He insisted he should climb, but obviously it's not exactly working..." Justin explained. Trent and Duncan looked at Owen, who was about 2 centimetres off the ground by now.

DJ climbed up the pole with ease. His ripped body didn't come easy, but it certainly had its advantages. He climbed all the way up onto the pole, but when he stood, his head hit a tree branch, which had a nest with eggs on it. The nest fell down, destroying the eggs. "Oh god! I killed baby birds!" DJ cried out. Then, he realized he was standing at a very high position, and fainted.

"Finally! Girl needs to hurry up!" Leshawna said as Heather made it to the top. "Heather!" Alejandro yelled up. "What?", she screamed back down. "And remember, I'm at a seriously dangerous position here, so don't waste my time!" "Of course. May I just say, your ass looks great from this angle." Heather gasped and fell all the way down. "Now why'd you do that?" Leshawna said. "I'm going to win this challenge. Heather's scrawny ass isn't gonna help us any here.", Alejandro replied.

"Oh my god, Katie, I so don't wanna climb up!" "Oh my god, I know, right? I'll let my teammates waste energy on that." Katie said. "Oh my god, really?" Sadie gasped. "Like I should break a sweat. Especially when looking at Alejandro doing it is so much more fun..." "Oh my god, you're right! Look at that butt!" "It's better than Justin's, isn't it?" Katie giggled. "Oh my god, yes! Especially since those explosions! He's all weird now..."

Geoff swung over to the second pole. As he landed, the rope he was swinging on broke off. He looked down. "Umm... I dunno how you guys are gonna get there if I fall..." Courtney yelled at him to hurry up before he messed up even more.

"Well, that wasn't exactly my best idea..." Noah said, rubbing his back as he got back in line. Eva walked up to the pole, but Izzy ran in front of her and climbed the pole in about 10 seconds. "Yay, ropes!", she yelled, grabbing the first rope and swinging to the next pole.

"Aye..." Alejandro got up and walked past a gloating Heather. "Your turn, Lashawna.", he said, helping her with the first few metres.

[Okay, what is with this guy? First he insults me, then he's all sucky-uppy. Where I'm from, we just call that straight up crazy!] - Leshawna

[CODY!] - Sierra

"Owen, just hurry up! We're racing against the other teams here, remember!" Duncan yelled as Sadie walked back to her team. "Hey, Sadie. Listen, would you take the spot before me? I just can't hurt myself any further." "Oh my god, whatever..." Sadie said. Justin gasped and ran away in shock.

[It's happening again! Oh god! That evil bastard, he's actually done it! Oh god!] - Justin

[Cody... WHY?] - Sierra

"Seriously, she sucks." Katie drawled. Alejandro looked at her. "Wow, that's oddly petty for you. Not nearly enough of course..."

Heather also noticed. 'Oh, I see what she's doing. She's slowly trying to steal my act. No way."

"And... Izzy! You made it up first! Congrats! Here's your armor!" Chris said from a pole near the arena.

"Oh, thanks, but I don't need it. I'm deadly enough without, and I need to be limber for the fight!" Chris shrugged. "Kay, if you don't wanna..."

"I wanna!" Geoff yelled, reaching the arena. "Sory dude, you get this." Chris threw the second-place armor at Geoff, but it disintegrated upon contact. "Aw, come on!"

"Oof! Oh, I better be first after that!" Leshawna said. She then saw Izzy and Geoff. Izzy was hopping around, which was not a smart idea on such limited space, and Geoff was yelling at Chris.

"I'm third?" Leshawna shouted. "Beating only Owen, in fact. ...It might take a while for him to get here." Chris said, throwing the wooden armor at Leshawna and throwing the steel armor onto the ground, almost hitting Trent. "DUDE!"

"Wait... How the hell is he doing that?" Duncan asked as Owen swung from one pole to the other without the ropes breaking. "Oh my god, I don't know!" Sadie said. "You know, I noticed Owen does a lot of weird tricks on the show. Like, how does he do that?"

"I'm here!" Owen huffed. "Yeah, and it only took you 30 minutes longer than the rest!" Chris yelled. "You get nothing! Now fight!"

* * *

"Hey!" Geoff exclaimed as Leshawna started trying to push him off. "Hands off!", he said, pushing back. "What kinda point does this armor have if it's all just a big pushing match?" Leshawna said.

"Oh my sweet sweet girl..." Owen said. "How could I possibly fight you? How could I fight the person that keeps me awake when I can't sleep, the person that knows my heart better than anyone else, the girl that I can't forget? Oh Izzy..." "It's ZIZZY DIZZY!" Izzy bellowed, kicking Owen off the pole. "IZZYYYYYY!", he yelled as he made the descent.

"Heh. Hey guys, I think I'm gonna change my name back. Whaddaya think?" Izzy said, turning to Leshawna, pushing Geoff off the arena. "Damnit!" He yelled before landing in front of Bridgette and Courtney. "Yeah, great job there..."

[Courtney doesn't like Geoff. Geoff doesn't like Courtney. This is seriously not good...] - Bridgette

[So, Izzy it is! Izzy Izzy Izzy Izzy Izzy Izzy tuna.] - Izzy

Izzy and Leshawna turned to each other. "Here's what it comes down to. Awesome! Crazy against Ghetto. We ready? Fight your goddamn asses off!" Chris announced.

[If she does not win us this, she is so out!] - Heather

[If Leshawna doesn't win, I'm so totally gonna get her out...] - Katie

[CODY! CODYYY! I MISS YOU!] - Sierra

Leshawna charged towards Izzy, who jumped up. Leshawna managed to grab her legs though, and she swung the redhead off the arena. Izzy wasn't gonna lose that easily, however, as she grabbed the edge and jumped back up. "Hehe, not gonna be that easy!", she said after getting back into the arena. "Oh, you wanna play it like that? Bring it!" Leshawna said. That probably wasn't the best idea, as Izzy launched at Leshawna like a rocket, headbutting her to the edge of the arena.

"Whoah! Oh crap, that's high..." Izzy cackled and prepared for a wicked kick, sending Leshawna off the pole. "Wait!" Leshawna yelled. Izzy stopped, an eyebrow raised. "I'm trying to kick you off here, what's going on?" "Listen. I messed up last time. Like, really messed up. You follow me?" "You messed up, got it." "That time I had Harold to keep me safe, but if I lose this time..." "They're totally gonna kick you off. Heh, like I was trying to do, remember?" Leshawna nodded. "Yeah. So if you could, oh, I don't know, lose for me, that would be great." "Haha! I told you it wasn't gonna be that easy..." "Wanna make a bet?" Leshawna grabbed Izzy's still raised leg and swung her off the arena. "HAHAHAHA!" Izzy cackled as she fell down.

"And that's how I roll!" Leshawna yelled down, taking her armor off.

"Finally! That got seriously snoozefest! Ah well, we'll edit it to look good. Leshawna, you win this challenge!" Chris said through his megaphone. Team Defeat cheered. "However, now you still gotta get off..." Leshawna didn't get the chance to reply, as Chef rammed her with the helicopter. "Sometimes, I really do like my job.", he grunted.

* * *

"Fine. You're safe for now. But if you mess up again, you're gone!" Heather hissed. "You really don't have focus, do you?" Leshawna said. "Excuse me?' Heather shrieked.

"You've been not so silently trying to get Alejandro kicked off for the entire season. But I mess up once, and all of a sudden you're on my back like never before. Decide who you want out before you end up gone yourself. Which is a very real possibility, you know. Sister don't get away with all your crap forever." "Ugh!" Heather stormed off.

[I guess she was right. She did win us this challenge. When was the last time Alejandro won a challenge for us? ...Oh, right." - Heather

[She is a big pain in the butt, and I do not like pains. But Alejandro really is a monster, and he's a hot one too, so he should probably go first.] - Leshawna

[My plan is to stay together with Alejandro for the entire show, and then... Oh.] - Katie

[Heather is manageable. She really has lost her spark. Can't get people kicked off or anything. It's sad, really. But oh so good for me.] - Alejandro

[CODYCODYCODYCODYCODYCODYCODY CODYCODY] - Sierra

[Oh, for god's sake! GET OVER IT! GO GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!] - Heather, once again while pulling Sierra out.

"So Chris, what's the next challenge?" Trent asked. "There is no next challenge!" Chris said. "Owen got kicked out of the arena first. He lost you the challenge. As for Team Defeat, you get this as a reward!" Chris threw the wooden armor at Leshawna. "So, this is a reward challenge? No elimination?" Trent asked, hopeful. "Sorry. You gotta kick another player out." Chris said as he walked off. "OWEN!" Team Radiance said in unison.

* * *

"CODY!" Cody turned to the entrance of the cabin to find Sierra there. "Wow, three metres, remember?" "This isn't less than three metres. Why did you do this? I love you!" "I..." "I've given my entire life for you! I'm yours! WHY?" "Because he doesn't love you, simple as that." Noah said, walking into the cabin. "That is not true!" Sierra shrieked. "No, that's why he managed to blackmail Chris into getting a restraining order." "Cody! Are you gonna let him talk to me like that?"

Cody got up, turning towards Sierra. "Yes." Sierra gasped. "But-" "Shut it." Noah chcukled. "I got you a freaking restraining order. Haven't you gotten the goddamn message by now? I want you gone. I want you to stay the hell away from me, and I want you to stay the hell out of my life! And the fact that I had to get a restraining order to get even one of those things is insane!" "But..." "Sorry, stalkerlicious, but you're gonna have to get the hell out of here." Noah interrupted. "I'm far enough!" Sierra protested. "Well, you're way too close for me." Noah said, shooing her out of the cabin.

Noah turned towards Cody. "Can I directly hang around you for a while, so that Sierra has to stay the hell away from me?" Cody laughed. "Sure."

"Hey, Beth." Courtney said, walking into the cabin. "So you hate Lindsay now, huh?" Beth looked up. "Well, hate is a strong word..." "Well, let's see: She called you fat, ugly, a pig, a cow, several other farm animals, a stand-in for, according to her, Quackymodo from the Hunchback of the Nutty Dam, and-" "I hate her!" Beth yelled out. "Thought so. Listen, I'd gladly help you take her out." "Why do you want her gone?" "Uh, hello? Did you forget the entirity of Season 2?" Courtney asked. "Most people try to." Beth answered. "Lindsay is a dumb little princess, and I am supposed to be the princess!" "Well, what are your plans?"

"Hey, honey." Duncan sat down next to Gwen. "Hey..." Gwen was sketching in her notebook. "Who's that?" Duncan peeked over Gwen's shoulder to see three sketches: Gwen, Trent and Duncan. "Why do you still draw your ex-boyfriend?" "The thing is, I drew myself in between the two of you, just like how I feel." "Yeah, he's got to quit that jealous ex-boyfriend thing..." "What?" "He's totally pissed. I did not steal you from him, right?" "No, we were over for ages..." "Exactly. No problem." "Yes there is. I don't feel comfortable with this! You, and Trent, and it's all... Ugh!"

Owen walked around the campgrounds. He cost his team the challenge. What if they voted him off? He couldn't handle that. He looked around, seeing the rest of the campers. Katie swooning over Alejandro. Katie never minded him. Alejandro... Well, Alejandro seemed like sometimes he didn't like him that much... Nah, Al liked him. They were teammates! He saw Eva, Izzy, Cody and Noah walking around, with Sierra walking behind them. Blaineley said he was a fan-favorite, and Sierra is like a super-fan, so she must like him, and Cody and him are totally buddies. Eva was just a little grumpy, and Izzy... Owen didn't wanna think about her. He focused on Noah. Noah! Noah and him were like best buds. Except they hadn't been spending that much time together... Maybe that wasn't a good sign?

Owen walked over to where Gwen, Bridgette and Leshawna were chatting. Gwen and him were cool ever since Season 1, what with the final two bonding and all, and Leshawna and him were always cool. She was soulful, and Owen had a really big... well, a really big everything, really. And Bridgette was really cool as well.

Then, Courtney walked past. Courtney was a bit crabby at times, but that was probably just a lot of stress, what with the show being what it is. She probably isn't that bad... Right? Heather walked past as well. Ooh, Heather was a mean &*$%^ *^# (make of that what you will). "Hey, Owen!" Beth walked past. Beth was like, the nicest girl ever. She wouldn't hurt a fly. Well, except if the fly's name was Tyler. Or Lindsay. Beth walked over to Courtney and the two started discussing something. Hmm. That's weird. Owen sat down and watched Geoff and DJ have a laugh together. They were totally awesome as well. They totally get the party vibe! That's how you recognize awesomeness. Awesome.

Owen walked over to his cabin and saw the rest of his team. Justin and him were pretty close, and Trent is cool like Geoff and DJ. Party vibe. And Duncan and Owen were both pretty good players, so they're cool. Owen smiled.

He'd be fine.

* * *

"Right! The votes are counted! And Duncan, we got the joke already, we do not need a repeat! Kicking you off is a really tempting option right now!" "What did I do this time?"

"Anyway, the results!"

The campers leaned forward, looking at Chris intently, just the way he likes it.

"Justin." Justin grinned, getting his marshmallow.

"Duncan." Duncan grabbed the marshmallow, chewing it in front of Chris.

"Ugh. Sadie." Sadie took the marshmallow, throwing it against Owen.

"And then there were two. And there's only one marshmallow left. Owen, you lost the challenge. And you're fat, which for me is a pretty bad offense as well." Chris said. Owen looked down.

"And Trent, things between you and Duncan is only getting worse and worse. Maybe it'll be done after this..." Trent started chewing on his nails.

"Oh, who am I kidding. Trent, you're safe." Trent ran over and got his marshmallow.

* * *

[Trent. Hell, even Gwen wants him out.] - Duncan

[Owen. My god, I think I'm actually the brains on this team. And that's sad.] - Justin

[Umm... I guess I vote for Sadie, because I'd really like to have a boys team again...] - Owen

[Oh my god, I vote for Owen. I won the last challenge, and now we're back here again. This is sooo sad.] - Sadie

[Owen! He lost us everything! I could have taken those three! ...Can I vote for Duncan too?] - Trent

* * *

"But... Doesn't everyone like me?" Justin, Sadie, Duncan and Trent glared at him as Chris tried to push Owen to the Dock of Losers.

"Chef, little help please! Get the helicopter!"

"No need. I'll go. I just don't get it, you know? I just thought..."

"HELICOPTER!" Chris yelled.

"Alright, going!" Owen walked over to the Dock of Shame, but tripped, rolling his way onto the boat.

"Well, that was that! The camper I perhaps have come to despise the most has left the island. Yet another guy! It's almost like there's a curse... Oh, wait, we already have one. DJ, hurt any animals today? Anyway, there's a lot of questions to be asked, but I don't feel like doing that bit right now, so screw it! Fuuuuuck, I love this network. See you next time on Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!"

* * *

"I just don't get it. Why me? I mean, I always do good, and make it to the merge, and get a lot of attention, and everybody likes me... I'll come back! I will! I- wait, do I get cheeseburgers again? Woo!"

"Hold on..." *toot*

* * *

Well, that was that!

I can't write Aftermath shows, as I discovered upon trying to write one. Just trust that Josh and Blaineley did a very good job, with Josh mercilessly mocking Blaineley over her elimination and the both of them drooling over the hot guys. Josh is so gay.

But it's weekend! Yaaaaaay.

I'm sorry, I know I do not have a popular opinion, but I very much dislike Owen. Too many fart jokes, too little depth. Too little competence, as well. How the hell did he make it to the merge in every season he was in? Bollocks, I say.

Maybe, just maybe, I'll throw out a girl next. I just don't see the relevance of gender when it comes to voting the people off.

Review! Pretty please, please do.


	6. Push My Button

So, it's Sunday and I'm writing again. Let's see if I can procrastinate on my homework long enough to write this in one day.

Disclaimer: Whatever it said on the other chapters.

Happy reading!

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama Tournament: The sorry losers who decided to sign up with this show long, long ago had to face off in a fight on top of a pole. Leshawna won, giving Team Defeat their second win. Team Radiance lost for the second time, and Owen was voted off. Thank god. And today, we're... Whoa!" Chris ducked, avoiding the blow dryer Lindsay threw at Beth. "Tension has been high the past few days! And we have a short collection of clips to show you about that!"

* * *

"I am so sick of you and your endless beauty regiments that take up all of our space as well!" Beth yelled at Lindsay. "You know, I've never told you this, but I always thought you took up a lot of space, and now I think all you do is take up space!" "Oh!" Lindsay gasped. "That is so not true! I have a lot of use!" "Like what?" "I'm a great motivator!" "Oh yeah, I've been sooo motivated!" "And I'm a great stylist." "Because that's so useful!" "Of course, it's a lost cause with you..." "Oh, you did not just say that!" "I did!" "Oh, this is just too good." Courtney commented from her bunk, chewing popcorn.

"Ugh! Izzy, get the hell down! You're driving me crazy!" Gwen yelled. "But I'm practising! The world is your playground. Every rose has it's thorns. Every cloud has it's silver straw that broke the camel's back!" Izzy said, jumping around the cabin.

"What? That makes no sense!" Gwen shouted. "Oh, that is so the pot judging a book by it's black cover. Kettle!" Izzy yelled before doing a cartwheel in the small cabin, hitting the wall. "That's it!" Gwen yelled. Eva grabbed Izzy and forced her to sit down. "Listen, Izzy. You don't mess with Gwen." Izzy nodded and sat down for about three seconds before running outside doing cartwheels, hitting Noah. As Cody helped him up, she ran in circles, before suddenly stopping. "Hey, where's Owen?" "He's been voted off, you psycho hose beast!" Gwen yelled outside, using Heather's nickname. "I swear, you're driving me almost half as crazy as you!"

"What do you mean, I've been hanging onto you?" "Well, you have, dude- oh, I mean, Bridge!" "What exactly have you done lately that hasn't involved me?" "Well, that's because you get involved in my business!" "What business? You trying to make out with me?" "I wanna get my own life!" "Me too!"

"I'll have so much pleasure in voting you off!" Trent yelled. "Like you'll ever vote me off! You were the one in trouble last time!" Duncan retorted. "Yeah, well, everyone hates you anyway!" "Yeah, well... Gwen hates you!" Trent gasped. "That is NOT true!" "Yes it is! She wants you off the island! And I should know! I'm her boyfriend! Not you! Me!" "That's only 'cause you took her from me! Like the dirty, cheating, sneaky, juvenile bastard that you are!" "Ooh, that hurt. That's much worse than prison, I assure you."

"But Heather, you don't understand! It's Cody! I've built my entiiiire life around him! And now I can't even be around him!" "Ooh, I will so enjoy voting your skinny, scrawny, formerly bald, manipulative, evil and bitchy ass off!" "But my dear, it's obvious you're destined to be voted off soon enough. I'll make sure of that, like I have before." "Oh my god, you are so lame compared to me. Like, seriously." "UGH! Will all of you crazy, evil, hateful, copycat morons leave me the hell alone?"

* * *

"Okay, maybe it wasn't a _short_ collection. But I just had to show you anyway!" Chris laughed.

He entered the lodge, where the teams were having breakfast together.

"Listen, guys. We've been doing great so far, and I want that to stay that way, so we need to make sure everyone is used to their full potential. I'm a good leader, so I'll be a commander most of the- oh, what am I saying? All of the time. DJ, you're big and strong, so you're most of the bulk. If there's another fighting challenge..." Courtney said before being interrupted by DJ.

"No way! I'm not fighting anyone!" "Oh, come on, DJ!" "No! You'll have to use my strength someway else!" "Urgh... Fine. Geoff, however bad you may have been last time, you'll be the fighting guy." "Yeah! I'm ready to brawl!" Geoff said, miming a boxing movement. "Bridgette, you're agile, and you're a good neutral person. You're the heart of the team, so if there's trouble, I think you can handle it." Bridgette nodded. "Beth, you're the shortest, so that could come in handy. You made it the furthest in a season of anyone on here, so you've got experience as well." Beth smiled proudly. "And Lindsay..." Courtney looked at the dim girl for a while. Lindsay just stared back at her. "You do what you want to do."

"Hey, guys, do you think that maybe we should let Gwen join the alliance?" Cody asked. "No." Noah said, flatly and without further elaboration. Cody frowned at him for a second. "Why not?" "I don't like her." Noah said, looking away. "I'm gonna go throw this disgusting "food" away." Noah got up, walking away. "Hmm... You guys, I really think we should have a team alliance. Right now, Gwen is so left out! She's the only person in the team not in the alliance!" Cody continued, trying to convince the other two. "No way, she's such a downer!" Izzy said, ignoring the fact that Eva isn't that much more positive.

"Of course, the delinquent eats the disgusting food." Trent said, sitting down at their table. "We need food, don't we? Don't act so dignified!" Duncan said. "Well, don't be such a dumbass!" Gwen ran over. "Stop it! I am sick of this!" She dragged Duncan over. "Listen, Duncan, I really like being with you and it's been great, but..." Duncan looked at her with steely eyes. "But what?" "Stop fighting. I never wanted this. All of this drama is just too much." "It's called Total Drama, what did you expect?" "_Stop fighting. _Either you stop, or I quit the show. Simple as that."

"You know, I always liked guys with necklaces..." Katie said. Alejandro chuckled. "And I've always liked girls... completely... dressed in pink..." While Katie squee'd, Heather made a vomiting noise, walking behind them to the table, sitting next to Sierra. "You know, you are probably still the only person that I can somewhat stand. Let's alliance." "Oh Heather, everyone knows not to make an alliance with you..." Heather groaned and walked away.

"Alright, people! Follow me!" Chris said, walking out of the lodge. "And remember, Sierra, three metres!" Sierra sighed, walking exactly three metres behind Cody.

[I am going to find that restraining order, and I am going to rip it apart! RIP RIP!] - Sierra

[What if I destroy that restraining order? Sierra would be in my debt...] - Heather

"Now, I really want the fur to fly in our next challenge!" Chris led the campers to a giant structure at the edge of the island. "As you can see here, we made you a little raceway here." The campers looked up in amazement. "I swear, this wasn't here yesterday..." Courtney said. "Nope! That's how good we are." Chris grinned in front of the camera. "Okay! Here are the rules. You people have to run all the way to your respective finishes. However, one of your fellow teammates will be controlling the structure from down here, making sure the pathway changes to let you through as fast as possible. Or not fast enough, if said camper dislikes the other campers enough." Heather glared at her teammates.

[What kind of a dumb challenge is this? Running while someone else makes you fall on purpose? Great Idea, Chris...] - Heather

"The campers handling the controls are Trent, Noah, Lindsay and Leshawna." The campers walked over to the controls. "It's very easy. As you can see, these buttons have the same color as some of the trap doors. Press the button, the trap door closes, allowing your teammate to continue on." Lindsay nodded enthousiastically. "Really, Lindsay?" "Yeees!" "Kay. Go, people, go!"

The campers ran onto the structure. Eva just dragged Cody along, knowing that he would slow them down.

* * *

"Trent, the green button!" Justin yelled. Trent pushed it, letting him through. The challenge was on its way, and the teams were getting the hang of it. Run, stop, wait for platform to close, run, stop, and so on. The teams had to run five stories up, while the controllers pushed the right buttons or pulled handles to control the elevator sending them up.

Duncan also ran onto the platform, but Trent released the button, causing Duncan to fall. "You moron! We've got a challenge to win here!"

[That was fun... I like this challenge...] - Trent

"Eva! What are you doing, Noah hasn't even closed the-" Cody's words turned into a scream as Eva jumped over the trap door. "Oh. Well, that's one way to do it." Eva ran further, leaving Cody to trail behind.

"Lindsay, do not drop me! I mean it!" Beth said before running off. Lindsay pressed a button, so that Beth could keep running. "Wow. You actually didn't drop me." "I didn't? Oops!" Lindsay said. "Oh, so you wanted me to drop? That is so mean! Just like always!"

"Why are you following me?" "I'm not, Geoff! This is just the way we have to go!" "Well, wait behind for a while, then! You're always right next to me!" "Well, I don't want to lose!" "Ugh! The both of you, shut it! We have a challenge to win here!" Courtney interjected, literally repeating what Duncan said minutes ago.

"Sierra! Hurry up!" Heather yelled. "Give the girl a break, Heather." Alejandro said, from where he was standing, a floor above the two. "And you! Why are you stopping? Keep running!" "Oh Heather. You're such a... drag." "Hey!"

"Guys! I can't keep up!" Trent yelled to his teammates. "Wait a bit!" "How can you not keep up?" Noah said from beside him. "You have three other teammates!" Trent pushed Noah, causing him to release a button, dropping Gwen a story down. "Oh, Gwen! I'm sorry!" Trent said. Gwen just sighed, shook her head and got up.

"Go Sierra! You can run faster than that!" Leshawna said. Sierra listened to her, as she started running faster. "Yes! Go, sister!" Sierra passed Heather and got closer to a red platform. Leshawna held down the red button, letting Sierra pass. As Heather ran onto the same platform, Leshawna let go of the button, making Heather fall. "Oh, sorry Heather!" Leshawna said, giggling. "Aargh! You are so dead!"

[Ooh! That was fun! I'm sorry, but it's Heather! I'ma drop her every single time!] - Leshawna

DJ ran on the top floor, smiling. He was the only one who made it that far yet, and he was getting optimistic. Maybe they'd win a game again! But then he gasped, seeing a herd of sheep in front of him. The sheep noticed him too, and they started to run away. In front of them was the golden trap door, the last trap door before the finish. DJ tried to stop, but he was running too fast and the sheep wouldn't stop running! "Lindsay! The golden button!" DJ yelled. "Ooh! It's so shiny!" Lindsay said, pressing the button. "Oh, thank god!" DJ said as the sheep stopped on the platform. "Lindsay! Pink button!" Beth yelled. "Ooh! There's a pink button?" Lindsay squealed, letting go of the gold button. The trap door opened, and all the sheep fell down. "NOOOOOO!" DJ screamed, falling to his knees.

Sierra took over as the first of their team, leaving Alejandro behind. "What?", he said in a daze, before running over to overtake her. He then was kicked in the stomach out of thin air. As he looked up, he saw a familar face... "Joelle?" Joelle looked down. "Yeah, they told me to sabotage the game, so I went to visit my favorite camper. I am out to get you, you just remember that." Alejandro got up as she jumped off the structure. "Mi dios..."

"Yes!" Sierra squealed, jumping up and down. She had reached the finish! "You go girl!" Leshawna yelled up. "OMG, I'm so happy! And I'm here earlier than CODY!", she growled. "That's some girl power you got there, girl!" Leshawna cheered. "Why are you cheering her on? She's mental!" Heather yelled, running over the green platform. Leshawna let go of the corresponding button. "Shut it, skinny bitch." Alejandro soon followed, still feeling pissed that Sierra beat him to the finish line.

"We're here!" Cody said. "I can't believe Sierra beat you..." Eva glared at Cody. "Sorry, forget I said anything, I'll be quiet..." Izzy jumped over the golden platform and landed at the finish. "You guys do know you can just walk over the platforms, right?" Eva and Izzy looked at him blankly. "Sorry, you're totally right, I'll stop having an opinion now..."

"Oh my god, Justin, you're so strong!" Sadie said, after Justin had just carried her to the finish. Sadie jumped around, accidentally slapping Justin in the face, hitting his eye. "Argh! If that's gonna leave a mark..." Sadie looked down. "...I'll have to use make-up..." Justin backtracked. "Ah!" Duncan yelled as he fell down again. "Trent, you stupid bastard! What the hell is your issue? CHALLENGE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Trent smirked and made sure the elevator would pick Duncan up. He didn't wanna lose, after all. He just wanted to hurt Duncan. "You're lucky everyone else hates each other too, you know!"

"I hate you, Chris! Why did you take me to Egypt? WHY?" Courtney and Geoff picked DJ up. "Come on, we have a challenge to win." Courtney said. "Yes, we know, Courtney. How many times have you said that now?" They ran to the finish, followed by Bridgette. As soon as she crossed the finish line, she walked over to Geoff. "I get it! You don't want to be anywhere near me anymore, do you?" "I want some space!" "No you don't. You want me gone. Why didn't you just get a restraining order like Cody?" "Because I don't want one!" "Well, you want me away from you as much as possible, don't you? You know what, I'll give you what you want! We're over!"

* * *

"Oh... my... Bridgette, wait!" Courtney ran after Bridgette. "CHALLENGE! STAY!" "I am not a dog, Courtney!" Bridgette said. "That's okay, Courtney! She crossed the line, so she can go wherever she wants. If she can get down!" Bridgette groaned and walked back.

"Bridgette, you can't just break up with him! You've been together since Season 1!" "Well, just because my relationship wasn't as shaky as yours, doesn't mean it has to last. I'm done with you, Geoff. I stayed with you when you went all Hollywood. You forgave me when I accidentally kissed Alejandro. We were doing great, but apparently that wasn't good enough!" Geoff didn't know what to do, so he just walked over to DJ.

"Dude." Geoff stared at him blankly. "You did not just do that!" DJ continued. "She did!" "Oh, don't go do that shit. You sound like you're five." "I just felt stuck! We need a break." "Alright, but I watched "Friends". If you keep this "we were on a break" thing up later, you'll regret it."

"Ugh! This is by far the worst challenge yet!" Gwen said as she walked over the finish line. "Team Dizzy is the first team to be complete! Congratulations!" "You could have actually tried getting here fast." Eva grunted. "Like me!" Izzy said. "You were slooow." "You jumped on my head to skip a floor!" "Pot, cover!" "Oh, shut it!"

"Damn it!" Trent cursed. "See, this is why we do not drop teammates. You tend to lose." Noah deadpanned. Trent let Duncan over the golden platform. "Team Radiance finishes second! It's between Team Starlight and Team Defeat now! Get to it!" Heather groaned as Chris talked through his megaphone. Katie ran over to the finish. "Oh my god, Heather is being totally lame right-" "SHUT YOUR COPYCAT MOUTH!" Heather yelled.

"Fine, Leshawna. I'll just sit here and watch you get VOTED OFF!", she then screamed towards Leshawna, who laughed in return. "You think they're gonna vote me off when you're right there for the taking?" "Ugh!" Heather screamed. "Fine! Then I'll win this, with or without your help!" She then took off her belt and attached her knife to it (AN: Heather has a knife, as seen when she tries to cut off Harold's rope in the episode in which he is eliminated in Season One), and threw it up. It got stuck in the structure, and Heather started climbing her way up.

[I gotta say, for such an uptight toothpick, she sure is inventive. Fine. I'll let her win. But not without watching her climb!] - Leshawna

"Come on, Beth!" Courtney yelled. "I'm trying, but Lindsay's being so slow!" Beth yelled back. "Hey!" Lindsay said. Beth arrived at the golden platform. "Lindsay! Open up the platform!" Beth said. Lindsay panicked and pressed the blue button. "No! The golden one!" Beth yelled. As Lindsay tried to comply, Beth yelled: "If you do not open this trap door right now, I will take you and everyone around you DOWN!" Lindsay gasped. As Beth ran over the platform, she released the button. "Aah!" Beth fell down a floor. "Lindsay, you are so dead!" Lindsay giggled, then flipped Beth off.

Meanwhile, Heather made it to the top floor, having climbed her way up through the golden platform. She crossed the finish line, turning around, looking at Beth, and laughing. "Guess I'm not leaving yet, huh, Leshawna?" Leshawna grumbled. "Should have let you drop..."

"Well, it's official: Team Starlight has to kick off their first team member tonight! Good job, Team Defeat, you're not complete losers yet."

Team Defeat cheered as Beth ran down the structure, reaching Lindsay in no time. "You know, you might want to start saying your goodbyes, because you just lost us the entire challenge!" "I did? Oh. Oops."

* * *

"Dude, you need to think this over!" DJ said. "I'm not thinking over anything. I've thought enough. That's all I did on this stupid show! I wanna play! I wanna win! I'll think about things after that." Geoff said. "Geoff, I respect your choice. But don't you think this is a quick decision, considering Bridgette and you have been together for so long? Isn't she important to you?" Trent argued. "You're just saying that because everything went wrong with-oh, hey Duncan!" Duncan walked over to the three of them, turning to Trent. "What are you doing with them?" "...Talking?" "They're my friends. Get lost." "Dude, I know you two don't get along, but we can talk, right?" Geoff interjected. "You're trying to take something from me, aren't you?" Duncan asked. "Because I "took" Gwen, right?" "I'm talking with friends. You're paranoid." "Oh, I'm paranoid? Really?" Duncan said, cracking his knuckles. "Whoa! Chill, everyone!" Geoff said as he and DJ held Duncan back. "You better watch it, because I used to be in prison! You don't wanna know what happens in there, and you don't wanna feel it!"

"You, whatever the hell your deal is, get another camper to copy!" Heather said as Katie walked into the cabin. "What?" Katie said, looking at Heather with a terrified look on her face. "You know what! You've been doing the whole "alpha bitch" thing for the last week, and you suck at it! Just you remember, I'm the one in charge here, not you!" "Really?" Katie said. "If you're in charge, then why does everyone hate you?" "Because they fear me! They know what I'm worth!" "And that would help you how?" Katie shot back. "I'm just dumb, hive-minded Katie. No one hates me. You're dead meat." Katie walked out to hang out with Sadie, leaving a fuming Heather.

"Hey, Bridge." Courtney said, sitting down opposite her. Bridgette looked up and smiled. It seemed rather hollow. "Hey." She sounded hollow too. "How are you doing?" Courtney asked, putting her hand over Bridgette's. "I'm fine. Just... pissed off." Bridgette said. Courtney chuckled. "I'd be too." "Hell, you were." Courtney glared. "Hey, Courtney?" Bridgette said, her voice soft. "Yes?" "...I wanted it too." "You wanted what?" "A break. Some time alone. Some time... being me." "So why'd you yell at Geoff?" "I dunno, it was still... sudden." "So you're saying you wanted to break up, but then you were angry when he did? Wow." Courtney said, walking off.

"Hey.", she said, plopping down next to Cody. "Hey..." Cody said, staring at a spot on the wall. "Did you hear about Bridgette and Geoff?" Courtney asked. "Yeah, it was kinda hard not to with the volume over there..." Cody answered. "Hmm, I know. I feel terrible, but I think Bridge needs this, like, a little free time. Just like you, come to think of it." Courtney said, resting her head on her hand. "Uh huh..." Cody said, still staring. "Okay, what's up with you? You're all stare-y..." Courtney said. "You just said "stare-y". I think I could ask you the same." Courtney rolled her eyes. "That sounded a lot like Noah talking right there..." "Yeah, I was thinking about him..." Courtney chuckled, an eyebrow raised. "Really now? Did the ear-kissing stick with you that much?" Cody glared at her as she giggled. "He doesn't like Gwen." Courtney groaned. "Oh, her again. I swear, I have heard enough of her the last three seasons. Can anyone not talk about her?" "Wow, berserk button much?" "So, you and Noah, huh?" Cody rolled his eyes and continued staring at the wall.

_"Dear Diary,_

_I haven't written for a while. Total Drama has been too hectic, I guess. Well, of course, everything's hectic compared to me._

_The challenges have been absolutely crazy. What the hell was that maze? That was like a complete moron with a tinfoil hat covered with peanut butter went, "Oh, we have to do this!" And they did. And then we were in a maze, being hunted down by interns. Well, I get their frustration. Being Chris's intern is not a good job. It's not a good way to live your life, and to be honest, it'll probably substantially shorten it. _

_And then a replay of the Awake-A-Thon. We already agreed we weren't gonna talk about that ever again._

_Then that volleyball crap. Bombs? Nothing new for Chris, of course, but still... We had to throw bombs around. Even if it doesn't go off, that cannot be good for you. Of course, I didn't join in. I'm not an idiot._

_Aaand... then that pole arena thing. Of course, Gwen forced me to participate. Thinks she can boss people around because she's the drama bomb. Ugh. And come on, making me participate on a rope swinging pole balancing arena battle challenge was a bad idea wrapped in a huge mistake holding a complete screw up._

_And now the giant Wii Party knock off. What the hell? At least I'm smart enough to know how to handle a few buttons, unlike the other campers... Lesson one, do not drop your teammates. Lesson two, do not drop your teammates. _

_So, I'm part of an alliance now. Everyone in Team Dizzy... thanks Iz... well, everyone except Gwen, that is. And she is sure as hell not getting in. Let's see, we have Eva. She's still clearly out of control (she destroyed Bridgette's surfboard because of her old, meaningless grudge and attempted to destroy Courtney's PDA; Courtney's a ferocious beast though, so that didn't work), but at least she listens to me. And then we have Izzy. She's great, if you manage to get past the "psycho hose beast" part._

_And then we have Cody. You know, Diary, I've been avoiding this subject forever, but I don't think I can avoid it any longer. The things that happened during the Awake-A-Thons, the gap in his teeth, his blue eyes, his geeky outbursts, the way I want to kill Sierra every time she violates her restraining order..._

_I think I might be in love with Cody."_

* * *

"Well, you've managed to stay in the lead for so long, but now it's actually time to vote someone off for you guys! This is gonna be good..." Chris grinned.

"Courtney." Courtney ran over, happy to get the first marshmallow, still scarred by the several times she got the last marshmallow in Season One.

"DJ." DJ walked over, but accidentally stabbed a passing bird while trying to get the marshmallow on a stick. While the bird was sent to the recovery hall, Chris continued.

"Geoff." Geoff stuck his tongue out at Bridgette, who scoffed and turned away as Geoff got his marshmallow.

"Bridgette." Bridgette ran over to get her marshmallow, chewing it in front of Geoff.

"Well, this is it, ladies. You sure you don't want to make up with each other before one of you leaves?"

Both girls turned away from each other, their nose turned up.

"Kay..." Chris paused. "The last marshmallow goes to..."

The girls gasped and held hands for a second before realising what they did and letting go.

"...Lindsay. Thank god."

* * *

[I vote for Lindsay. She's gonna get what's coming to her.] - Beth

[I vote for Geoff! ...We were together for so long... And now... It's just...] - Bridgette

[I vote for Beth. Did you hear that? About taking everyone down? We can't have someone like that in our team.] - Courtney

[I vote for Beth. This time it actually wasn't my fault that the poor animals got hurt. And- OW!] - DJ, before getting hit by an angry sheep.

[BRIDGETTE!] - Geoff

[I totally vote for Beth. She's just got to stay out of my super model life!] - Lindsay

* * *

"EEE! YAY!" Lindsay danced around. Chris joined her.

"Oh, but Lindsay... She said all those mean things about me... You guys!" Beth said.

"Did you not hear what you said during the challenge? You threatened to get us all out of the game. Empty threats of course, but we can't use someone like that in our team." Courtney said.

"Oh... But I didn't mean it!" Courtney turned away from her.

"Well... I guess I'll go, then..." Beth started walking to the dock. Lindsay stopped and looked as she walked.

"Oooh... Wait!" She ran after the short girl. "Hey!" Chris yelled. "Dance with me!"

Lindsay caught up with Beth. "What, come to kick me while I'm down?" "Don't be mean to yourself, you're just short. I've come to apologize." "Really?" "You were always so nice to me, and not like Heather. I'm so sorry about what I said!"

"I guess that's okay..." Lindsay squealed and hugged Beth. "Goodbye Beth! I'll miss you!" Beth waved goodbye as the boat departed.

"Well, that was that! Beth got booted, and thank god, because I could not bear to see a pretty face like Lindsay's go! So, will Bridgette and Geoff make up and continue making out, will DJ's curse ever end, and will Lindsay forget about Tyler and hook up with me? She's legal now, you know... We'll see next time on Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!"

* * *

"Well, I guess what I said was wrong. And I'll miss Lindsay now. I'm rooting for her! ...I guess some of the things she said were right. I mean, I'll never be a movie star..."

"I got a TV show role? The main character? HA! Suck it, Lindsay!"

"Wait, what is it called? Inner Beauty? Ugh!"

* * *

Well, it's Monday now, so I guess I didn't finish that in one day...

Anyway, I hate this chapter. Lame challenge, forced and weird plot twists, and ughhhhh.

But at least a girl finally goes. That's good, right? Right?

Anyway, review and I'll try to make a better next chapter. Do eet! You too, followers who don't review! Do eet!


	7. Get The Party Started

And what happens if you write a bad chapter? You get no reviews.

Anyway, I have spent a week mainly in horror at the blandness that is school. Methinks I'll mainly post on weekends now, with an occasional random post if I happen to be inspired. Fat chance.

So, hopefully this chapter will work out better! (And hopefully, I can think of a better challenge...)

Disclaimer: I don't think I could put anything here that would surprise you. Well, not without lying...

Happy reading!

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama Tournament: I created the most awesome challenge of all time and everybody hated it. The ungrateful bastards. I might just think about voting two people off this time. Team Dizzy won the challenge, and Team Starlight lost it, earning their first loss. Beth got voted off after she screamed some stuff out that she probably shouldn't. Hehe... And now I've got the best new challenge, you guys! Really!"

"Ugh. Well, this is annoying." Courtney said while her teammates ate "breakfast". "You guys, we lost Beth. We lost a person. I wanted a super team! I didn't wanna lose people! We have got to keep the upper hand!" Geoff tried to shoot some... food off of his spoon, but it latched onto the spoon. "Might wanna consider voting her off!" Duncan said as he walked by. "Argh! And we especially don't have time for you!" "Calm yourself, _princess_." Duncan walked on, until Gwen appeared out of nowhere. "What was that?", she asked, her eyebrow raised. "Whaddaya mean?" Duncan asked. "You called her princess." "So?" "You only call her princess when you're into her." "Seriously Gwen? I thought I was rid of these kinds of accusations after I broke up with Courtney..."

"Do not, in any way, compare me with Courtney." Gwen said, walking away. Duncan scratched the back of his head.

[I knew he still had feelings for her! I don't get it! She's a bossy, neurotic, crazy, demanding, high-maintenance...] - Gwen

[...broody, unfocused, hopeless, selfish, boyfriend kissing...] - Courtney

[...lawyer-using, screaming, over-controlling, list-making...] - Gwen

[...lazy, disrespectful, unable to make a list...] - Courtney

[...Women.] - Duncan

"Guys! What do you have against Gwen?" Cody asked. "She gets all weird! She cannot join our alliance in a million years, which is probably how long she'll live. I mean, I can't even do a backflip in our cabins without her freaking out. She is psycho. Kettle!" Izzy yelled, although she had the brains to keep quiet during the "alliance" part. "She thinks she's the most important person around. All wrapped up in the middle of her romantic triangle." Eva grumbled. Noah smirked at her. "Aw, does the steroid bomb feel lonely? Does the steroid bomb want a boyfri-" "You better shut it if you care about your face!" Eva yelled as she jumped up, drawing the attention of the other campers. Noah just smirked as she sat back down. "I agree, actually. I know the show is called "Total Drama", but she's just too much." 'And she's all you think about...'

"You're being mean. She's not that bad..." Cody said softly. "She kinda is." Noah said, although a part of him felt like chewing Gwen out even further. But he wasn't gonna do that. Maybe when Gwen was on the Boat of Losers and he was saying it to her face.

"You guys, we have got to keep strong! We have the least campers left out of any of the teams, and we haven't won a single challenge so far! We've got to get it together now. Let's win the next challenge! Who's with me?" Justin said to his teammates. He was met with a mediocre response. "Yeah, whatever, dude..." Duncan said, twiddling his knife around. "If you say so..." Trent said. "Sadie?" Justin said. "...Oh my god... yaaay..." Sadie drawled. Justin screamed and ran off.

Alejandro smirked as he saw Justin run off. The rash-inducing powder he replaced part of Justin's nightly ritual with was a good idea. He walked over to where Sadie was sitting. "Hello, my dear. Are you ready for another challenge?" Sadie perked up as Alejandro spoke. "Oh my god, yes! I hope it's something fun..." "It's Chris, so probably not. I wish you the best anyway, mi amor." Sadie squeed as Trent and Duncan made vomit-y noises.

Alejandro then walked back to his teammates. Heather was watching him with his arms crossed. "Why do you always give these pep talks to people of other teams?" Alejandro raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I'm sorry. Go Heather, all the way!" Heather groaned and walked away. "Damn, if we lose, and I'll try to, I am so gonna vote her off. Sister needs to take several chill pills." Leshawna said, shaking her head. "Well, that's not a good attitude, now, is it?" Alejandro said. "We have to work together as a team, and we're supposed to be the best team there is! We've got to fight and we have to be strong! How else are we gonna make it to the end? We fight!" Alejandro continued right as Justin walked by. Justin proceeded to sigh while applying more powder onto his face, trying to erase the damage caused by the rash.

"Oh my god, yeah!" Katie said, and Sierra cheered. Leshawna giggled. "Alright then, I guess I can try and win. For the team. Not for you, because you're heinous and evil and..." Leshawna couldn't find the words as Alejandro smiled at her.

"Campers! Teens! Dweebs! I come bearing a challenge!" Chris said. "Uh oh." DJ exclaimed. "Don't worry DJ, even you would like this one! You are going to organize a killer party for some celebrity friends of mine!" Several of the people squealed or cheered. Sounded like a better challenge already. "You have to do so right here, on separate parts of the island. The stuff you need will be found at your specific area." Chris continued. "Oh, and the guests will be unstyled. You're gonna have to do that yourself, because these people do not want to be seen on camera without hair and make-up!"

"Yay!" Lindsay squealed. Courtney glared at her. "Yay? Remember what happened when you tried to do a fashion show with Tyler in France?" "Oh, but that was a fashion show! That was all about moving forward, taking it to a new level! Now I'm just gonna make 'em look good."

"And you're good at that!" Chris said. "Of course, it's not gonna be as easy as just setting up a party. There's gonna be some obstacles in your way, so be careful!" "Oh, what, now there's gonna be bombs between the make-up?" "You'll see..."

[A party challenge! Oh, I've been dreaming of this day... Oh, and all the celebrities too!] - Lindsay

[Ugh. A party challenge? You have got to be kidding me. I don't do parties.] - Noah

[You know, Geoff always told me he'd bring me to a party, and he never did. You know what? I'm gonna make this a killer party!] - Gwen

[You know what, this might actually be fun for a change! Ooh, maybe I'll meet Beyonce!] - Leshawna

[A PARTY! WHOO! TIME TO GET TO PARTYING! AWESOME!] - Geoff

"Oh, and one more thing. There are four categories your team has to work on: The setting, the styling, the music and the food. Now get to your areas and start setting up that party! Seriously, hurry up, my social life could depend on this."

* * *

"Pleeeeeaaaase, Courtney?" Lindsay begged. "No! You screwed up Tyler when it mattered, and you're not gonna screw it up for us!" "But I told you, that was a totally different situation! Seriously!" "...Fine." "YAY!" "Ugh... Geoff, you handle the music. DJ, you can handle the setting. Bridgette, the food's all yours." "And what are you gonna do?" Geoff inquired. "...I'm going to observe and improve."

[Start by improving your entire personality...] - Geoff

"So, can I handle the setting?" "No, Eva's doing that." "Oh, uh... what about the music, then?" "Izzy's on it." "The food?" "...Cody can handle that." "With food from his pants?" "Better than skull food and bat meat or whatever the hell you'd come up with." "Fine. I'll do the styling then." "Yeah, no, that would be my task." "You're gonna do the styling? Noah, look at yourself." "Excuse me?" "You're not going to be able to style celebrities. Can you even handle make-up?" "I could ask the same of you. And besides, I don't think the people want teal hair." "Oh, like I was gonna..." "Violet? Midnight blue maybe? You were gonna go for black with blood red highlights, at least." "...Shut up." "I have three brothers and five sisters. I can handle hair and make-up." "Well, what am I supposed to do?" "Sit in the corner and sulk."

[No Gwen for an entire challenge. Perfect.] - Noah

"Oh my god, I can totally do the styling!" Katie said. "Oh, no way! Pink does not look good on everyone, as you can attest to! I'm doing it!" Heather hissed. "Oh my god, do you really think the celebs wanna be bald?" "THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT!" "Okay, break it down, people! And Heather." Alejandro said. "Your fighting will get in the way of us winning. I think neither of you should do the styling, because I fear the rivalry will be our end. Leshawna, if you would do the styling?" "Oh no. No no no no no. I am not letting Leshawna put weaves all over-" Heather was cut off as Leshawna slapped her with enough force to knock her out. "Oops. Oh, sure Alejandro, I'll take over the styling duties." "Good. Katie, I'm sure you can do the music." "Oh my god, I totally know all the latest hits!" Katie said. "...But we've been stuck on this island for a few weeks now. Maybe new music has become a hit!" Sierra interjected. "Oh, and Sierra, I'm sure you can handle the setting?" "Can I do the food? Cody's doing the food, and I wanna beat him!" "I'm doing the food. My Latin roots have given me the gift of great cooking."

[Food is art. Of course, Leshawna will probably screw everything over with her styling, but I'll be safe, that's for sure.] - Alejandro

"And what do we do with Heather?" Katie asked, motioning at Heather's unconscious body. "Just... leave her here." Alejandro said.

"Who's doing what?" Trent asked his team. "I dunno..." Sadie answered, sitting down. "Who cares? Look at my face!" Justin said. "I'd rather not." Sadie said, looking away. Justin started sobbing. "Ugh, I can't believe I'm stuck in a loser team like this. Screw this, I'm outta here." Duncan said, getting up. "Wait!" Trent said. "Everyone, we have got to keep going! We have the least people left out of any of the teams, and we haven't won a single challenge yet! We've got to get it together now! Let's win this challenge! Who's with me?" Sadie jumped up and cheered, and Duncan shrugged, walking back. Justin sobbed harder, realizing Trent was now more charismatic than he was. "Alright! I'll do the music!" "I'll do the styling!" Sadie exclaimed. "I'm doing the setting." Justin said, looking up. "And I'm doing the food!" Duncan yelled out.

[Maybe our team has hope after all! Even with Duncan...] - Trent

* * *

"What the-" Geoff flipped through the CDs. "These are all old lame country songs! No party tunes at all!" DJ shrugged at him, and then took a potted plant to take over to the setting. He dropped the plant at the setting, squashing a squirrel. "Hold on." Geoff said. "Wait! Where do you think you're going?" Courtney asked. "I'm going to steal some better CDs from the other teams. "That's cheating!" "I'll steal from Team Radiance." "...Hurry back."

"How's the food going?" Courtney asked, walking into the kitchen set up for Bridgette. "As well as possible with this kind of equipment..." Bridgette said, pointing at a flimsy oven. Courtney nodded and walked over to Lindsay. "Okay, Lindsay. Here's the list of the people that will show up: Rusher, the rapper guy, London Pillton, the girl who really never does anything noteworthy except spend money, her chihuahua, and some other people that don't really matter." "Ooh, I love London!" Lindsay screamed. "I bet..."

"Cody, this looks terrible. Maybe I should've let Gwen handle the food..." "But Noah, you haven't even tasted it yet!" "It looks terrible, why would I even bother to-" Noah was cut off as Cody stuffed one of the... whatever the hell it was into Noah's mouth. "...Jesus, this is the food of the heavens!" Noah grabbed a few more of... the stuff before walking over to Izzy, who was apparently mixing the music. "Izzy, what the hell are you doing?" "Listen!" Izzy pressed the PLAY button, and a mix of several of the (admittedly horrible) songs was played. "Hmm, sounds pretty good. Now stop playing it before someone steals it." Noah walked over to Eva, who was carrying statues around. "Very... yeah, I'm just gonna... go over there." Noah said, scratching his head and walking away to prepare for his part of the challenge.

"Noah!" Noah turned to see Gwen running towards him. 'Oh, great. What does she want now?' "Chris told me an additional celebrity is coming!" "Then why wouldn't he put that on the paper he gave me?" Noah wondered. "It's Lady Blah Blah!" Gwen yelled. "Wait, that weird-ass singer who doesn't know what human clothing means and opts to wear her closet instead of the contents of said closet?" Gwen nodded. "Oh crap."

"Could you make it a little less... psychedelic?" Alejandro asked Katie. "Right now, it's just a bunch of notes arranged to form a major headache." Katie pouted, but started changing the music. "Sierra, the place looks great. You really have become quite the competitor." Sierra laughed hysterically as she hung decorations around. "Great... job..." Alejandro walked over to his kitchen. "OH, LESHAWNA! YOU ARE SO DEAD!", the campers heard. "The beast has awoken." Leshawna laughed as she practised make-up on a mannequin. "Ladies, would you be so kind as to try my food before the celebrities get here?" Alejandro asked, presenting a plate of food. "Sure thing!" Leshawna said, grabbing some of the food. "Hmm, this is good! We're so gonna win!", she said as Katie and Sierra munched on the food, sticking their thumbs up. "Heather?" Alejandro asked as Heather stormed up. "Forget it!"

"This is great! You've got a talent for this! Seeing as your modelling career will probably end soon, you might want to pick up interior designing." Trent said. Justin sighed. "Sadie, are you ready to style these people?" "Oh my god, of course! Katie and I always style each other!" "Great. Just... take it easy on the pink, okay?" Trent asked. Sadie nodded. "And Duncan... the food seems good, I guess..." "Dude, it is good. Better than the music you're making over there..." "The people like authentic!" "Well, they won't like you!" "Oh, I'm sorry, would you like to take that from me? Here's my guitar, have fun!" "No, you go lose the challenge for us, that's fine!" Trent and Duncan continued arguing, not noticing Geoff stealing one of their CDs.

"Alright, everybody! It's time to start styling!" Chris yelled as the celebrities started arriving on the island. "Ugh, what is this dump?" "Oh, wow, Kelli Shades! I'm Heather, and I'm your biggest fan!" "Oh, yeah, I saw you on this show. Didn't expect you to be such a loser." "What?" "I've heard the "biggest fan" bullshit enough times already." "Well, I am so sorry for being a fan! Sorry for supporting you when you screwed everything up with every single one of your meaningless flings, even though you couldn't care less! Sorry for being so rude, liking you on the shows you were on, even though, come to think of it, you didn't even touch the level of magnificence that I am on right now!" "...That's more like it." Kelli walked towards the styling booth. "Pssh, Leshawna!" Leshawna walked over to Heather. "Mess her hair up for me, and I'll forgive you for slapping me unconscious."

* * *

"Wow, Lindsay, I'll have to admit, you've done a great job!" Lindsay giggled. "Look! I can't believe you didn't mention Ryan Bossling was gonna be here! He's so dreamy... And look! I did his hair!" "I see... Wow..." Bridgette said, nearly drooling. "Hey!" Geoff said, glaring at Bridgette. "What? Am I not allowed to like other guys? We're over, you moron!" "Well... No! You're not!" "Care to explain, please?" "Well, you can't... You can't do that! I was the only guy for you, remember? You sang that. I'm Sorry, remember? Do you? You can't like anyone else! ...I was the only one..." Bridgette looked at Geoff with a shocked expression on her face. "I... I gotta go." Geoff ran off. Bridgette turned around, looking at Courtney with the same shocked expression on her face. "...Go." Bridgette ran off. "Knew that wasn't gonna take long." Courtney commented.

"Ow! Careful with the hair!" "Oh, my god, oops! Sorry!"

"Wow, Noah, this is... unexpected." Gwen commented, watching some young hopeless, soon to be drug-addicted starlet walk away from the booth in hair and make-up. Even Lady Blah Blah had been happy after Noah had found some unused scrap metal and made her look like a robot. "Told you, siblings." "So why did you never think about not making yourself ugly, then?" Gwen asked, before even realising what she said. The rest of her team, including Cody, stared at her with a shocked expression. "Wait, no! I mean... I didn't... ah, screw it. I did mean it like that." Noah just scoffed and walked past her, followed by Izzy and Eva, and the latter of the two pushed her to the ground. Cody helped her up. "You know, that was really mean." Cody said. "He deserved it. The man hates me for no reason." Gwen said, dusting herself off. "Still." Cody said, shaking his head and walking away. He then turned around. "You know, I kept defending you. Every time they told me you really weren't a good person, I defended you. But you really don't care for other people, do you? No wonder the rest doesn't want you in the alliance." "Alliance?" Gwen asked. "Oh crap! Forget I said anything!" Cody squeaked, running off.

[Right...] - Gwen

* * *

"Geoff?" Bridgette said, walking into the guys' cabin. Geoff looked up. "Hey." Bridgette sat down next to him. They sat in silence for a while. "...I'm sorry." Bridgette said. Geoff looked at her. "No, I am. I was stupid-" Bridgette shut him up with a kiss (no tongue, surprisingly enough). She then stood, and starting singing.

(AN: Feel free to go to Youtube and play "I'm Sorry", or play it on iTunes like I do)

"I'm sorry, so sorry  
Sorry like a flower, after the first drought  
And I'm sorry, like a mitten that's been dropped, and feels so lost"

Geoff laughed as she continued.

"Apology accepted.", he said after she had finished. Bridgette laughed and hugged him. "Idem dito." "Hey, don't get all smart on me, I don't know what that means!" Bridgette giggled and kissed Geoff. "Me too, Geoff. Me too."

* * *

"Alright! The parties are over, and the celebs have left." Chris announced. "Aw, I'm gonna miss Ryan!" Lindsay said. She and Ryan had made out the entire evening.

"I won't." Chris said. "Anyway, they went over to the Fess Cam and rated the four aspects of your party!"

"First up, Team Starlight! The celebs rated your setting a 7 out of 10. They thought the dead animals kinda ruined it. The music got a 6 out of 10. Most people thought it was too... pop. They would've appreciated something a bit calmer, like... country, for example." Chris said. "Hey, where is Geoff?" Geoff and Bridgette walked over, making out. "Great. See you're back together." Chris said. "You know, I paid you to break up. Might as well actually do what I say!" "You paid them?" "We need drama, people." Chris continued. "The food got a 7 out of 10 as well, and the styling got a 9 out of 10. Pretty good." Courtney smiled.

"And then we have team Radiance. The setting got a 9 out of 10. Justin, now that your modelling career has met its untimely demise..." "I know, I've heard it already." Justin sighed. "The music got a 9 out of 10 as well. They loved the fact that Trent actually sang for them, instead of playing a CD. Clever." Trent smirked at Duncan. "The food got an 8 out of 10, so Duncan, the food was in fact not better than the music." Duncan glared at Chris. "And the styling got a 5 out of 10. Because you physically abused them." Chris chuckled. "We made the stuff specifically to hurt. Anyway, you still beat Team Starlight." Courtney huffed as Team Radiance cheered.

"Team Dizzy." Chris turned to the team. "The setting got a 7 out of 10. Some weird stuff going on, but nothing but to complain about." Chris added when Eva raised her fist threateningly. "The music got a 5 out of 10. Weird stuff definitely going on there. The food got a 6 out of 10, because even though it was delicious, most people didn't dare touch it. The styling got a 9 out of 10, because Noah could possibly be a drag queen in his spare time." "Are you kidding me?" Noah said, with his eyebrow raised as usual.

"And finally, Team Defeat. Your setting got a 9 out of 10, so Justin, you can't even excel at interior design anymore. The music got a 6 out of 10, and I think it was overrated. Jesus, that's not music!" "Neither was the music your boy band made, but you don't see us complaining about that..." Heather quipped. "SHUT IT! The food got a 2 out of 10..." "What?" The entire team yelled out. "Impossible!" Alejandro said. "Possible. Wanna have a bite?" Alejandro caught the food Chris threw at him and bit a piece off, before vomiting all over the place. "That is not my food!" "Oh, it is. My favourite intern just added a little bit of... flavour to it." Joelle waked up, holding a bottle with a dark green liquid. "Thank you, Joelle. Anyway, your styling got a 1 out of 10. No one was happy with the things you did to them, Leshawna." Leshawna gasped.

"So, Team Defeat lost by far! How'd that name gimmick thingy work out for ya?"

* * *

"Bridge?" Courtney walked into the girls' cabin. Bridgette looked up from where she was sitting. "Hmm?" "You were faking it." "I was, I think... maybe..." "What do you mean, maybe?" Bridgette sighed and looked away. "Some parts of me did feel that way. And I think Geoff does too. We took the money not because we thought we could act it up, but because we kinda felt that way anyway..." "And you didn't keep the act up because..." "Because I couldn't, of course. I couldn't even feel that way about Geoff. I mean, I do, but I also don't... I can't. I love him." "I get it. You know..." Bridgette looked up. "What?" "I just want you to know you're lucky. Your relationship is the only one that really lasted from beginning to end. Well, yours and Lindsay and Tyler, but who cares about them..." "Thanks, I think." Courtney and Bridgette sat in silence for a few seconds. "You miss him, don't you?" Courtney sighed. "I don't want him. I'd know that would hurt and I'm not some kind of idiot who would hurt themselves on purpose." "But it hurts anyway." "Exactly."

"Hey, honey." Duncan said as Gwen sat down next to him. "Hey." Gwen said. "Do you think Chris would let me change teams?" "Why? Wanna join the funfest over here? Don't bother, I can assure you it's not as magical as it looks." Gwen groaned. "I just want to get the hell away from my team. Everyone in it hates me. Even Cody." Duncan laughed. "And you care about this because..." "Because they're in the same team with me! If our team ever loses, I'm screwed!" "Good point. But still, the other teams can't exactly be a catch. Team Starlight has Courtney, Team Defeat has Heather and my team has Trent." "Ugh!"

_"Dear Diary,_

_I think I'm gonna be writing more often from now on. The idiocy over here is just too much not to comment on._

_First of all, the new challenge was dumb. I hope the fame-hungry bastards had a fun time, because I sure as hell didn't. What the hell? Even when considering the last challenges, this one was lame. And I seriously saved my team here. If they dare call me useless now..._

_Chris has surely gone mental by now. Between him hitting on Lindsay, making us organize a party that is supposed to help out his level of fame, and the whole pictures thing, it's surprising to me he hasn't started randomly singing nursery rhymes._

_Chef is missing, by the way. Some intern is serving us food. I don't know where he's gone, but I'm sure it's gonna be important at some point. Somehow..._

_And Gwen is still a royal pain in the ass. By now she's just started insulting people. Well, me. See, this is where having an alliance comes in handy. As soon as we lose, she is gone. No matter what Cody says._

_God, what the hell does he see in her? She doesn't want him, she never has wanted him in the past, and she'll never want him in the future! Such a hopeless case! And of course, as usual, he's too oblivious to see why I hate her so much. Why do I always fall for the dumb ones? I swear, my brain is failing me so much right now."_

* * *

"So! That name thing didn't help out at all. Suckers!" Team Defeat glared at Chris.

"Anywho, the first person to be safe is... Sierra." Sierra got her marshmallow, her purple ponytail swishing along.

"And then we got... Katie." "EEEEE!"

"Next up is Heather! Surprise!" Heather growled and snatched the marshmallow from him.

"Leshawna, Alejandro. Two campers, one marshmallow. You both had bad scores during the challenge, and in addition to that Alejandro is a dirty scumbag."

"Leshawna, you've been on the edge for a while now, with the rest of your team still spiteful over that time when you lost the volleyball challenge, and almost lost the last challenge." Leshawna gulped. "Alejandro, like I said, dirty scumbag. In addition to that, untrustworthy bastard."

Chris looked at the two of them for a while. "The last person receiving a marshmallow is..."

Leshawna nervously chewed on her fingernail, and Alejandro sat in stony silence.

"Alejandro."

* * *

[I vote for Leshawna. Oh, I won't let Heather and her get in an alliance together to wipe out me. I know Heather is capable of doing that to me. No way.] - Alejandro

[I vote for Alejandro! I'm sure he had something to do with us losing! The bastard!] - Heather

[I vote for Leshawna. Alejandro told me to, and besides, didn't she totally get the lowest score out of all of us? Lame.] - Katie

[I vote for Alejandro. Oh, he got me good. But I'm sure everyone will figure out he needs to go... right?] - Leshawna

[I'm gonna go for Leshawna. Alejandro's food was messed with, but Leshawna doesn't have an excuse! I worked my ass off!] - Sierra

* * *

"Well, off to Loserville, population 7!" Leshawna gasped, getting up. "But you guys! How can you vote me off instead of Alejandro?" Sierra and Katie turned away from her dismissively. Heather got up. "Leshawna, I'm sorry for not taking action before. You're right, we should have focused on Alejandro, but Copycat over here is too in love with him and Sierra doesn't really care for any of us, so..." Leshawna smiled and shook her head. "No problem. At least you didn't vote on me now." Leshawna walked off to the dock, waving goodbye and flipping Alejandro off.

"Ooh, this is juicy!" Izzy said, clutching the pictures she found in Chris's cabin. She ran off to the dock. "Out of the way, I've got something to show the tabloid!", she said, jumping onto the boat as it departed. "What? No! Give those back!" Chris yelled. "Never! Kettle!" Izzy yelled back. "Does this mean she's eliminated instead of me?" Leshawna asked. "YOU'RE BOTH ELIMINATED!" Chris yelled.

He then proceeded to yell at the intern steering the boat, and then at the producers of the show. "Hey, Chris, I'm sure it'll be okay... I mean, the pictures can't be that bad..." Alejandro said, trying to calm Chris down. "Not that bad! In about 15 minutes, there'll be porn of me all over the internet!"

The campers stared at Chris. "Uhh... forget I ever said anything." "Kinda hard to forget, Chris..." Sierra said. "Forget or get eliminated." "Forget what? What was I supposed to know?" "I don't know a damn thing." "Me neither! The cameras might, though..." Heather sniggered. "SHUT IT!"

"Right! Uhh... Leshawna is voted off, and Izzy quit. And she'd better destroy those pictures! Umm... There's a lot of questions to be asked... like, umm... or, uh... Will Gwen... and uh, Heather... and Alejandro is evil... next time... Total Drama Tournament. SOMEONE GET ME THOSE PICTURES, STAT!"

* * *

"Damn. You know, I still think it was unfair of them to vote me off. They know Alejandro is in that team, and they know what he did, and they still vote me off. based on me losing the challenge for them? Along with Alejandro, by the way. So that doesn't make any sense. And I don't... Is that Chris?"

"Yup! I don't even know what position that is, or how he got himself into that position in the first place. This is so going all over TMZ!"

"Wow, that's just... wow..."

"Kettle!"

* * *

I noticed the more I write of this, the more my views on the characters change, regardless of the fact that this is only fanfiction. I now prefer Courtney over Gwen. Eh, it'll fade.

Anyways, Leshawna's canned! To be honest, I had her elimination planned for a long while already, She was originally gonna go after Harold, but I figured she could stay two more chapters/episodes/whatevers. Also, Izzy got booted off, but that's just because Izzy is just a purely comedic character who really was never meant to last. But now she can reunite with Owen! Maybe they'll get together again. See, heartwarminess! Awww.

So, I liked writing this chapter better, and it just felt like a better chapter. Hopefully I'll get reviews this time!

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. REVIEWWWWWWW!


	8. The Underground, Except With No Trains

Well, I haven't been very inspired. Dunno who to boot next. Guess we'll see as I start writing.

My annoying friend is trying to make me turn the entire story to the TrentxGwenxDuncan love triangle. She's also trying to make me kill someone.

She actually wants to see people die. Preferably Heather. She's only seen Season 1 so far. I actually like Season 1 Heather. Bitchy as hell.

So yeah, not gonna happen! I like my characters alive.

Oh, and there's a disclaimer thingy here.

Happy reading!

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama Tournament: I asked the campers to organize a killer party for some wicked celebrities! ...who I will never be able to face again. Thanks, morons! Well, at least Team Radiance managed to keep some of the people happy. Team Defeat, however, completely screwed everything up. How will I ever be able to face Crunk Hummer Zee ever again?"

[Hey! I'm a successful rapper too! What the hell, Chris?] - Chef (sure you are, Chef, sure you are...)

"Leshawna got voted off as a result, something which we all should have seen coming. Izzy quit after stealing my goddamn pictures! Damn it, I felt lonely and I had internet access and a webcam! GET THAT SHIT OFF TMZ!"

"Anyways, the campers are preparing for the next challenge. Which is going to be awesome!"

"I swear to god, thanks to your screw-up, we're now just as bad as Team Radiance! This time, you're all going to listen to me!" Heather complained. "...Hmm? What did you say?" Alejandro said. Heather huffed.

"So where'd Izzy go?" Cody asked. "Found the pictures, ran off with them, left us behind with one less person in our team, and in our alliance." Noah drawled, silently fuming. Eva wasn't as silent. "She had an alliance to keep loyal to! I'm going to break her neck!" "Please don't, it would require you to leave the island, and that would count as elimination." Noah said as he got up to throw the remainder of his food away, "accidentally" bumping against Gwen in the process.

"We rocked the last challenge! See, if we just work together, we can win!" Trent said. Sadie giggled and clapped. "Oh my god, we are sooo the best team!" "I beg to differ." Courtney muttered under her breath as she walked past. No one payed any attention to her. "Oh, what does it matter! My face!" Justin complained. He had accidentally hit himself with a stick twice in the last challenge. How he did it was a mystery to all. Not even the cameras seemed to give any further information. "It'll heal. Human wounds heal, Justin." Trent said. "But I'm better than human!" Justin sighed. "...Sure." Duncan got up. "Really, guitar boy, I just saved the day yesterday. Chris just didn't want to give me the points. Your music sucked!" "So what are you saying?" "Our team still sucks, I just rock!" "Fine! Agree with Courtney then!" Duncan gasped. "No, our team rocks! Number one!"

"So, with Izzy out of the team, we're officially the best team again! Now, DJ... Where's DJ?" Courtney looked around. "Guys, where's DJ?" Geoff got up. "I'll go look in the guys' cabin." He walked off. Lindsay turned to Bridgette. "Do you think AJ quit as well?" "It's DJ, Linds... Wait, you might actually have a point there!" Bridgette tried to walk out, but Chris got in as she tried to get out, with Geoff following him. He walked over to Bridgette. "Aw, I can't believe this!" "What? Geoff, what are you talking about?" Chris cleared his throat. "Ladies and gentlemen, some of you might already know about crazy hose beast Izzy quitting. Unfortunately, someone else apparently followed her. DJ tried to get the pictures to convince me to end his animal curse. His whereabouts are currently unknown." Several campers gasped, most noticably Courtney, Lindsay and Bridgette, and oddly enough, Gwen.

"That jerk! He can't just leave us! We have a team to maintain here!" Courtney yelled, outraged. "Courtney!" Bridgette held her back. "Chris, what do you mean with... unknown?" Chris stared at her. "It means we _don't know where he is._" Bridgette glared at him. "Great! The traitor! COMPETITION, ANYONE? ANYONE EVER HEARD OF THE WORD?" Courtney screamed. She then continued to slap Lindsay, step on Geoff's foot, and knock Duncan's tray over. Just because.

"See, this is why I left you.", he commented, walking off. "Whoa! Where are you going, mohawk?" Chris said. "We do have a challenge, remember? Follow me." He walked off, with the other campers trailing behind.

* * *

"So, what's going on between you and Sadie right now?" Alejandro asked Katie. "Hmm? What do you mean?" Katie asked, hoping Alejandro would somehow turn that comment into a love confession. "Well, you two were inseperable before, but now you barely talk anymore."

[Of course I don't care about their dumb friendship. I wanted them around so that I'd have two loyal... alliance members, but if they get broken apart... My entire plan kinda falls apart.] - Alejandro

"Oh my god, I dunno..." Katie stared for a bit, then ran off. "SADIE!"

[Oh my god, we're totally back together again. We are never splitting up eeeever again. Never ever.] Katie and Sadie, in unison.

[Mission accomplished.] - Alejandro

"I see what you're doing." Heather glared at Alejandro as he walked on ahead. "Well, let me tell you in advance it never worked with Lindsay and Beth. Why would it work with Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Holy God That's A Stupid Bitch?", she smirked. "Because I'm better than you." Heather rolled her eyes and walked off.

[We'll see about that when I vote you off...] - Heather

"Hey, guys?" Cody walked over to Eva and Noah, who were talking about the other campers, as usual. "And that's not even half the reasons why I think Gwen's a complete..." Noah heard Cody and turned around. "Yes?" Before Cody could say anything, Noah stated: "Oh, and look out for stalker sap behind you." Cody turned around. "Restraining order, Sierra!" Sierra stayed right where she was. "You are going to rip that restraining order into pieces right in front of my very eyes, I'll promise you that!" She said before walking off. "Well, that was terrifying. What was it you were trying to say?" Cody didn't say anything back, as he appeared completely frozen. "Yeah. Talk to us when you're back in the real world."

[Okay, I'm fairly sure you guys know about how I feel for Cody. You must have seen something at some point while I was writing. Point is, I don't actually want Cody. Like, I do, but I can't. I can't love, obviously. I just can't handle that kind of thing. So if I'm just not nice to him... Maybe it'll all just pass by.] - Noah

"And here we are!" Chris said, pointing at a staircase leading down into the ground. "Uh, if I may ask, why is there a staircase in the ground?" Geoff asked. "You're going down there!" Chris exclaimed. "Oh, great. More interns?" Gwen sighed. Alejandro glared at Chris. "You'd be wise not to send that rotten hag after me any more!" Chris laughed. "No, no more interns. Although Joelle really is great." Alejandro growled. "No, what you guys have to do, is go down this staircase and get into the underground maze located there." "You really have a thing for mazes this season, don't you?" Noah interjected. "As I was saying, there's a flag hidden somewhere inside the maze. Your goal is to get your flag, which has your team color on it." Chris continued, completely ignoring Noah. "You then have to come back. However, your flag may also be next to something else..."

[Chef. Told you.] - Noah

"...which you will then have to take along with you. And since I don't care about any of you, I might have left some things behind. You know, bears, bear traps and the like..." "You left bears together with bear traps?" Bridgette asked, shaking nervously. "Yup! Now, here are your oil lamps, which may run out at any given moment." Chris threw an oil lamp at Trent, Gwen, Lindsay and Alejandro. Courtney snatched the lamp before Lindsay could even catch it, hitting her face with it in the process, and Heather slapped Alejandro and grabbed the lamp while he was distracted. "Hmm, yeah, didn't think so. Can't trust you with the only light source we have!" Noah said, snatching the lamp from Gwen.

"And why is that?" Gwen wanted to know.

"Oh, please. You're far too fond of darkness to be in charge of the only light source we have. Forget it, I'm holding- AH!" Noah screeched as Eva violently snatched the lamp from him. "Forget it, shrimp! You got a way too loose grip." "What? Cite your sources, please." "You dropped my MP3 player several times, you let go of the vine during the pole challenge, I had to wait forever before you got the elevator ready for me, you accidentally cut Lady Blah Blah's hair too short..." "That was intentional!" "And plus, you dropped your _diary. _Here you go, you _girl_." Noah gasped and grabbed the diary from her. "Fine! You hold it then. But if you break it due to the massive pressure administered by your pinkie, it's gonna be your fault and your fault alone."

[Ooh, a diary. I need to get my hands on that.] - Heather

"...What are you all waiting for? GO!"

* * *

"LINDSAY! THIS WAY!" Lindsay turned around with a frown on her face. "I think we have to go this way!" "That's the way we just came from!" Lindsay stuck her tongue out at Courtney and then ran off in the opposite direction. "Oh for god's sake... GEOFF! GO GET HER! WE CANNOT LOSE ANOTHER TEAM MEMBER! HURRY!"

[Lindsay is intolerable! Why didn't we kick her off ages ago? I guess she was lucky we're such a well-oiled machine... Why did I vote for Beth again?] - Courtney

"Linds! Wait up!" Geoff grabbed Lindsay's arm. "Why? Why do you all listen to that mean Courtney? I'm a good leader!" "I know... Listen, we really just came from here. Look, our footprints- wait, where does this light come from?" Lindsay showed Geoff. "My mirror has a built-in light. My dad bought me it." Geoff's eyes nearly popped out. "Why didn't you tell me you had this?" "I dunno..." "You know what? Maybe you're right. Let's go!" Lindsay cheered and ran off, with Geoff following her.

"Heather! Wait up!" Heather sped up even more, savoring the fact that she could literally leave her teammates in the dark now. "Sorry Sierra, we've gotta get there fast if we want to win this! And besides, you could stand to lose a few." Alejandro caught up with them. "Jesus, Heather! Some of us would like to see..." "Yeah, well, some of us would like to see you gone!"

Noah stopped and gasped for breath. "I knew I shouldn't have let Eva have the lamp!" Eva looked behind her. "This is why you're useless in every way! We need to keep up! RUN, SHRIMP! RUN!" "Well, at least I have brains! What was on your last report card again? Math, E? History, D-? Geography, D? PE, A+?" "SHUT IT, SHRIMP!"

[Well, this can't be good... We're kinda in an alliance here, aren't we?] - Cody

"WOO! Keep running, guys! We're the best!" Sadie, Duncan and Justin cheered, two seconds before Justin bumped into the wall... with his face.

"Courtney, Lindsay and Geoff still aren't here!" Bridgette said, looking behind her. It was pretty much pitch black. "Too bad. If they lose us the challenge, we know who to vote off." Bridgette looked behind her again before running after Courtney. "Ow! I swear to god, I don't know what Chris did to this place, but I hate it already!" Courtney said as she bumped into a wall. The wall then began to speak. "Courtney?" Courtney gasped, and then groaned. "Gwen? Really? What the hell are you doing here?" "Well, I don't know, I was trying to follow my team and I just got... lost." Courtney sighed. "Sounds like something you'd manage. I suppose you want to join us?"

Gwen turned to Bridgette. "Hey Bridge, how 'bout we ditch Courtney and go on ourselves?" Bridgette squirmed as Courtney glared at Gwen. "Let's just... look for that flag and- OW!", she said, right before Lindsay and Geoff fell onto her.

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking, running off like that? Does no one understand the meaning of team work anymore? And Geoff! I asked you to get her back, not follow her! The two of you are such morons! Bridgette, why didn't you actually break up with him? And Lindsay, you are not going to be ruining our work anymore!" Courtney walked over and grabbed Lindsay's arm. "OW! Why are you holding my arm that tight? Geoff didn't grab my arm this tight when we ran off!" Bridgette glared at Geoff. "I was trying to stop her!" "No you weren't! You were running away with me, remember?" "Alright, you stay here, mister!" Bridgette grabbed Geoff and starting running. Courtney followed her, dragging Lindsay behind her. Gwen ran after them as well.

[Psh... There's nothing strong about this team. Mark my words: They will start losing, and losing hard, very soon. Mark my words.] - Gwen

"WAIT!" Cody screamed. Noah and Eva turned around. Eva had tied Noah to her using some roots that were sticking out of the dug out walls (several other roots had damaged Justin already).

"What?" Noah asked, knowing that Eva would be enraged about them stopping. "Where's Gwen?" Cody asked. "Who cares? We'll meet her at the exit!" Eva said before starting to run off. "But wait! She doesn't have any light source!" "Oh, like she's gonna feel bad about being in the dark..." Noah quipped. "Noah..." Cody sighed.

"Ah! A bear trap! Bridgette said, trying to avoid it. She then turned around and stared right at a black bear. "...Bruno?" The bear reacted, growling happily and letting Bridgette pet him. "Okay, Bridge, can we move it along, please?"

"I GOT IT! I GOT IT!" Heather screamed. Somehow, she had managed to find the flag in a matter of minutes. "Am I awesome now?" She turned around to see no one there. "Oh crap."

"She totally left us behind! Oh my goood!" Katie whined. "We know, Katie! You've said that several times already! There is no new message you're giving us here!" Alejandro complained. "...WE'RE LOST!" Sierra screamed. "...You don't say..." Alejandro had to smirk. Obviously, Heather wouldn't find them in here any time soon, so by the time she did, the other teams would have found their flag and gotten out of the maze. And then Heather would be voted off. He'd laugh as the boat departed. He knew it was a good idea to hold Katie and Sierra back.

"I found the flag!" Trent grabbed the yellow flag and started running back. Duncan ran behind the other three. Well, crap. This is actually working. Trent is actually a good team captain. Now he had to cooperate, or he'd get voted off. Crap.

"Look! Flag! HAH! Gwen, you stay here, we don't care about you anymore. And- Hey, who's that?" Courtney shone the light on a sleeping figure in the corner. "DJ!"

DJ woke up and saw the rest of his team (and Gwen), and started bawling. "You guys! They woke me up in the- in the middle of the night, and- and- and then they led me down here, and they told me I had to stay heeeere, and there were moles, and I think they're all DEAD!" As he sobbed, Courtney cheered and told the rest of her team to follow her.

[I have a photographic memory. I knew exactly what path we had to take to get back.] - Courtney

No one listened to her, as her teammates (and Gwen) went to comfort DJ. "Oh, come on! CHALLENGE!" Courtney used her ridiculous strength to drag DJ along as Team Starlight (and Gwen) ran off. "Gwen! Stop following us!"

"Here we are!" Cody said as he reached the flag. "Aaaand Chef. God, Chris, can't you not be predictable for once?" Noah looked up, knowing that Chris had probably installed several cameras. "Took you long enough. All the other teams found the flag already." Chef said, looking at a little screen, showing Heather stumbling around, trying to find her teammates, Courtney yelling at Gwen and Lindsay (the latter of which had somehow dug a hole in the earth with her heels and had fallen through), and Trent cheering before Sadie tripped. "Well, we can take you now." Cody said, taking the flag. "Hey, I'm not moving. It's your task to get me outside, but I didn't have to cooperate." "Eva, get him." Noah said, unimpressed. Eva tried to grab him, but he was too strong even for her, which was weird because Eva handled a yeti.

"Like you're ever gonna handle me. You're just the sorry losers that got put together by Chris to be the loser team this time." Chef chuckled. "Oh, really now? REALLY?" Noah yelled, furiously. He then proceeded to pick Chef up with one hand and run off, dragging Eva along with him. Cody stood there for a few seconds, completely paralyzed before he realized he had to run along. 'Damn, angry sex would be great with him!', he thought. 'Wait, what?'

"Ha! I found you! I swear, if you people hold me back one more time..." "Then we'll vote you off. Duh." Katie drawled. "Oh, shut it, image-stealing idiot! I got you the flag. I'm way more valuable than any of you." Katie stuck her tongue out at her. "You know, Alejandro knew you were trouble. You're so getting back into your Season 1 image. OMG, Heather. Alejandro was right when he held us back from you." Sierra said. "He- what? He held you back? Ugh! Don't you see! He heeeld... you baaaack!" Heather said, like she was explaining it to a bunch of 5-year olds. "...Sooooo?" Katie said. "He kept you behind on purpose so that you'd end up in the dark!" Heather exclaimed. "...No, I don't believe that for a second." "Oh my god, Heather, you're so judgmental." "Ah, screw it... Where is Alejandro anyway?" Heather shone the light around her. "Where is that bullheaded bastard?"

"Hey, Sadie, are you okay?" Justin asked. She'd surely have a mark on her face from when she tripped over that root. "Yeah, whatever. It can't be worse than what you have on your face." Justin screamed and sped up, sobbing.

"YES! WE MADE IT!" Cody jumped up and down. Noah put Chef down (well, threw him down) and cut the rope linking Eva and him. "Yeah, but you're missing a member..." Chris said, with his arms crossed at the top of the stairway. "Well, we know who to vote off!" Noah said, with an oddly cheerful voice. "Who knows, she could get back up before the others!" Cody said in a similar, but more shaky cheerful voice. "Without any light source? She'd never want to leave, and even if she did, how would she find her way back?" Eva sniggered. "Following the bats?" Noah and Eva laughed as Cody sighed.

"Woo! We made it!" Trent cheered extensively as his team made it up. "Congratulations, you're the first complete team back up with your flag!" Trent cheered. Duncan rolled his eyes. There's a reason to hate him again. What's with the goddamn cheering?

"Wait, where's Gwen?", he asked as he scanned Team Dizzy. "Lost her on the way." Noah said, not bothering to explain. Duncan walked up to him and grabbed his collar. "And what are you gonna do about it, then?" "Hmm, thought we'd let her use her night vision to get back here. She could use your mohawk as a light source too." Noah drawled. Duncan raised an eyebrow, but let him go.

"Wait, did we make it?" Heather ran up, dropping the oil lamp on the way out. Sierra and Katie ran after her. Katie kept looking behind her. Sierra ran over to Team Dizzy. "Hey, I want to take a look at that restraining order. How do I know you didn't make it up?" Cody cringed, seeing the loopy in her eyes. "You know we can't show you. You'd rip it into pieces in a heartbeat..." Sierra scowled. "Then I get to be as close as I want to!", she said, clinging onto Cody as Chris tried to pull her away. At that point, Alejandro walked out before passing out on the top of the stairway. "See, he gets wounded without the ugly." Sadie said. She, along with Katie, ran over to Alejandro. "That damn... Joelle!", he said as he regained consciousness for a few seconds.

"Team Defeat! You're now also complete." Chris said as Team Starlight (and, of course, Gwen) ran up, with Bridgette riding Bruno. However, Lindsay stopped near the bottom of the stairway and picked up an obviously dead mole. "Look, DJ!" DJ started sobbing while Courtney put him on the ground. Meanwhile, Geoff was trying to stop Gwen from getting to the top of the stairway. "No, I think it's still alive!" Lindsay said, waving the mole around. No it wasn't. Eva could make a hat out of it. "LINDSAY! GET OVER HERE!" Gwen hit Geoff with a flat hand, knocking him out. Gwen ran over to the top of the stairway. "NO!" Courtney screamed. "Lindsay! You complete moron!" Bridgette sighed, got off Bruno and walked off.

"Team Starlight! You lose for the second time, and while you might have DJ back, you're losing someone else."

* * *

"So, Sadie?" Sadie looked over to where Justin was sitting. "You really don't think I'm attractive anymore?" Sadie sighed. "Look at yourself. You have managed to turn into the new Tyler. You're all scars and scratches. I mean, that mole was dead and it still attacked you! How did you even manage to do that?" Justin looked at the window, where Alejandro walked by. "I'm sure Alejandro did it. Don't you see, Sadie? Alejandro is doing this!" Sadie shook her head and walked off. She turned around at the door of the cabin. "You can't always blame others for your own mistakes."

"DJ, we've got a deal for you." DJ walked into Chris's office, looking around nervously. "You want to end that animal curse, right?" DJ nodded. "Understandable, seeing as you've pretty much offed an entire mole civilisation today..." DJ sniffed. "Here's the deal. We've got another of those mummified dogs here. If you manage to pet it without it disintegrating, you'll be rid of the curse. In return for this offer, regardless of whether you manage to keep the dog in one piece, you help take your own team down. The merge is coming up soon, and I want Team Starlight to be the worst team by then. Got it?" DJ nodded, sweat dripping off of his face. He moved a nervously shaking hand to the dog and stroked it.

It stayed whole.

"Well, the curse is lifted... Damn it! If an animal dies now, we can't point at you anymore!" DJ grinned. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that!" He walked off. "Wait!" DJ turned around. "Remember our deal." DJ laughed and walked out.

"Eva?" Eva turned around, a dumbbell in hand. Heather backed off for a bit, and then approached the woman. (You really can't even call her a girl anymore...) "Yes?" Eva asked, not really wanting to talk to Heather. "So, I heard about Noah's diary..." Eva rolled her eyes. "You did it to Gwen in Season 1, no one even thinks twice about handing you over any diary." "Right... but did you read it?" Heather continued, unfazed. "Yes, I did. Little shrimp's a bitch like you." "Really?" Heather said. "What's in it?" Eva turned around, effectively ending the conversation.

_"Dear Diary,_

_I'm sorry I didn't look after you enough. Dumbass Eva with her luggish hands. I'm starting to doubt this alliance._

_Oh well, whatever. I assume she didn't read anything, and if she did, the alliance is over and she's out in a heartbeat. I'd even side with Gwen._

_Today was the underground maze challenge. Yaaay. Another maze. I swear, Chris is a moron. Gwen almost lost us the challenge. Oh, how I hope she gets voted off soon. Maybe we could lose on purpose. It's not like Cody wouldn't side with us eventually. She did yell at me._

_Ah, yes, Cody. I vented at the confessional cam already, so it's not like the entire viewing world doesn't know. I hate hormones sometimes. But things seem to be looking up. I think we're friends now, and honestly, I think I'm fine with that. Let him crush on Gwen. _

_I'm fairly sure I did my team somewhat of a favor today, so I think I'm safe for a while. I really hope I am. I didn't come on this show to lose before the merge every time..."_

* * *

"Well, you suckers lost! Just like Gwen predicted, actually." Chris showed Team Starlight a clip of Gwen.

_[Psh... There's nothing strong about this team. Mark my words: They will start losing, and losing hard, very soon. Mark my words.] - Gwen_

"Argh! I knew it! She set it all up!" Courtney yelled. "Relax, Courtney. From all the yelling you've done today, one might think your vocal chords might rip at any moment." Chris said. "Anyway, your votes are counted, and a sorry loser's going home." Courtney and Lindsay glared at each other.

"The first marshmallow goes to DJ." DJ walked over, not harming any animals in the process.

"Bridgette." Bridgette ran over, grabbing her marshmallow. Bruno walked along with her, being next to her at all times. Geoff groaned. That stupid bear.

"Geoff." Courtney glared at Geoff, while Lindsay cheered.

"And then there were two." Chris looked at the two for a while. "The two of you have been at each other's throats for a while. Since Season 2, to be honest." Courtney smiled at Lindsay as she remembered the moment when Lindsay was stupid enough to vote herself off. Ah, good times.

"The person safe this time is..."

Courtney raised her nose up, and Lindsay played with her hair.

"Lindsay."

* * *

[I vote for... Lindsay. I mean, it really is choosing between her and Courtney at this point, and Courtney's my friend!] - Bridgette

[Oh god, please let that dumb blonde leave... Lindsay! I vote for Lindsay!] - Courtney

[I vote for Lindsay! She lost, and she was waving that poor mole around! Hmm... I'm a mole now too, aren't I?] - DJ

[I vote for Courtney! To be honest, I've wanted to get her out for a long time now, and with all her issues today, I think the time has come!] - Geoff

[COURTNEY! She's sooo bossy. Like, why does anyone listen to her? I've got great ideas!] - Lindsay

* * *

"What? That's impossible!" Courtney stood there in shock and Lindsay and Chris danced (read: grinded, in Chris's case at least).

"CHRIS! CHRIS! WAIT!" Chris stopped molesting Lindsay and looked over to Chef, who came running with his little screen.

"You got it wrong! Courtney got two votes, Lindsay got three!" Chris glared at Chef.

"Aha! I knew I couldn't be voted off like that! I could file another lawsuit for wrongful termination, you know." Lindsay looked at Chris, confused. "So... does that mean..." "You lost. And you are FIRED!" Chris said, pointing at Chef. Chef gasped and ran off, sobbing. "I'm sorry, Linds."

"Oh, it's okay! I know Courtney will get exactly what she deserves, eventually. It's called karma." Courtney rolled her eyes. "You said that to Heather, and she..." "Got her hair shaven off?" Courtney gulped nervously.

Lindsay walked off onto the Dock of Shame, waving goodbye. "Wait! Lindsay!" Lindsay turned to see Chris running towards her. "Lindsay, I have to tell you something." Lindsay nodded. "You have always been my favorite contestant. I think you're beautiful, and I want to say... Tyler broke up with you via text message." "But my phone isn't even here!" "He forgot. So, would you want to be with me?" "...Oh, okay!" Lindsay said, kissing Chris. She then walked onto the Boat of Losers. "I'll see you after this season, then.", she said, winking. Chris waved her goodbye as the boat departed. Geoff walked up next to him. "...Tyler never broke up with her, did he?" "Nope." "...So, was she on those pictures with you?" "NO! I had to do it myself there..."

"Anyways, Lindsay's been voted off, and I will make sure every single person on that team will pay!" Chris yelled. Bridgette squirmed behind him, and Bruno roared. "Who will get booted off next time? Who will get those pictures off TMZ? And who will make it to the merge? You might get the answer to maybe one of those questions next time on Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!"

* * *

"Aww, it's so sweet that Chris wants to be with me! Even though I'm not sure it's legal. Oh well, I always thought he was kinda cute! Ooh, and now that I'm voted off, I can go check out those pictures!"

"I am pissed about Courtney though. I can't believe my team didn't vote her off after all that bossyness. She's a meanbag, people! Oh well. Karma'll take care of her."

"Ooh! I'll see Beth again! EEEEE!"

* * *

So! Lindsay's a goner.

Didn't like the challenge. I need to start coming up with better stuff...

And the merge is nearing! To be honest, I'm not sure when said merge will get here, but I'm sure it'll happen soon! I think.

Please, pretty please, _**review!**_ Look, I underlined it and made it all fat and Tower-of-Pisa-y. So do eet, pretty please.


	9. Bootcatastrophe

And I'm trying to write again. Dunno if it'll work, we'll see.

Now, before I start, some things to make clear:

The sucky dialogue thing has become my style in a way, and while I know it's not correct, it's how I like it.

The picture thing is Chris and Chris alone, Lindsay's innocent. The pictures were made before Chris and Lindsay even got together.

Chef is fired. Gone. Complete goner. Like I said, new intern handles the food already, so he became superfluous.

And then the NoCo thing. Obviously I already said there could be slash involved. If you don't listen to the AN's, you don't keep up. Also, it wasn't a one time joke, NoahxKatie is just as popular, and why is there a special difference between NoCo and, say, IzzyxEzekiel or BethxHarold? It's a pairing. GEEZ!

I'm gonna try to get back to the original challenges more, instead of the weird maze-y structures I've been making. Less Pac-Man, more... Total Drama. I dunno.

So, with that explained, happy reading!

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama Tournament: I fired Chef. I'm done with his crap! And the campers had to find their way through an underground maze. They sucked at it. Team Radiance won again, and Team Starlight had to eject one team member. Lindsay was obviously the team's scapegoat, as she was unfairly voted off! Seriously! That beauty, that sweetness... Seriously, look at those airbags. Holy hell."

"So, DJ." DJ looked up from where he was sitting in Chris's office, looking slightly nervous. He was starting to doubt his spy thing.

"Do you understand your mission today? Get Courtney ejected from the show. It should be easy: With both you and Geoff against her, you'll make her go cacophonic in no time. I'm sure everyone will love kicking her out then. Also, make sure you actually _lose_." DJ nodded. He could do this. He had no problem with Courtney, but still, better than Geoff or Bridgette. "I'm doing it."

"Good. Now get the hell out of here, you're wimping up my office." DJ walked out, making his way back to the cabin. He walked past the lodge, unaware that the lights were on and that someone was in there. He then passed Cody. "Hey, what are you still doing up this late?" Cody asked. "Uh... Nothing! Nope, nothing, leaving right- right now... WHY ARE YOU STILL UP, HUH? HUH?" DJ freaked. "Hey, dude, relax. I couldn't sleep." "OH! Yeah, me neither, that's why..." DJ said, before running off. Cody shrugged and walked into the lodge.

"Did you see that?" Cody looked over to the window to see Courtney standing in front of it, looking outside. "What?" Cody asked. "DJ! He walked out of Chris's office!" Courtney turned to Cody, her arms crossed. "That can never be good!" Cody laughed. "Maybe he was getting a restaining order against animals?" Courtney scoffed. "He was acting really weird just now..." Cody said as the two went to sit down. As soon as Courtney sat down, she suddenly jumped up again. "What?" Cody asked, looking up at her. "Maybe he actually found the pictures!" Courtney said. "Courtney, the pictures are off the island already." Courtney sighed and sat down again.

"So your biological clock is forever messed up as well, isn't it?" Cody asked. "Yup. All because you wanted your damn restraining order." "It's great, though. I've never felt so safe in my life." Courtney looked at Cody, an eyebrow raised. "You do know that if she ever gets too close anyway, that probably means she would have become too insane to care about the law, right?" Cody's eyes widened before he realised he was too tired to keep his eyes open that wide. "I guess we're both a bit too tired for logical thoughts..." Courtney nodded before collapsing onto the table.

"We should probably get to bed..." Courtney looked up abruptly. "Oh, no, I didn't mean like that! I meant..." "Actually, let's do it." "...What?" "In front of Duncan, preferably..." "Okay, Courtney, you've got to stop this Duncan obsession. I thought you wanted to win this? Stop letting Duncan hold you back!" Courtney blinked as Cody continued. "You've got more than enough drive to win the entire game, and the two million! You've just got to keep focused... and stay nice." Courtney gasped. "I'm totally nice! Everybody loves me!" "Really? I believe you were the last person to get a marshmallow last time?" Courtney huffed. "And you did go slightly... screamy during the last challenge." "How do you even know that?" "Chef had a little screen or whatever. And we kinda heard you sometimes." Courtney laughed. "Was it really that loud?" Cody nodded. "Oops..."

The two sat in silence for a while before Cody piped up. "We need to go get some sleep..." Courtney didn't respond, as she was already far gone. "Heh. See you tomorrow then, Court." Cody walked out, leaving Courtney asleep on the table.

* * *

"So, where were you?" Courtney bluntly asked DJ at the lodge the next day. Bridgette had woken early and had found Courtney, snoring on the floor. She had woken her up and Courtney had run off to take a shower. "Wh-what do you mean?" DJ stammered. "Courtney? What's going on?" Bridgette asked, looking at Courtney, who stood with her hands on the table, glaring at DJ. Bruno growled at the brunette.

"I was in the lodge tonight because Chris screwed over my sleep schedule. I saw you walk by, clearly from Chris's office. What were you doing in there?" DJ looked around him nervously, also noting that Cody was watching the confrontation. "I was... I had the pictures!", he yelled. "Remember how the thing with the pictures and I gave Chris the pictures back and I asked him to break my curse and he did are you happy now?", he said, all without taking a breath. "Hmm... If you say so..." Courtney said, clearly not trusting it yet. "Relax, Courtney. He's been in the guys' cabin the entire night, I couldn't sleep." Courtney glared at Geoff.

[What? No I wasn't! He's only making this worse!] - DJ

"You know, I was glad when Chef left. No more disgusting food, you know? I was sure no one could cook worse than him. And then you show up. And I don't know how you managed, but this is classified as food even less than Chef's. I mean-" "Would you shut it before people start dying on this show?" Keith, the new cook, yelled at Noah, scaring him off with a knife.

"Well, he's a riot." Noah muttered under his breath before being pulled away by Eva. "What? And ow!" Noah complained. "You know I read your entire diary, right?" Eva said. "Okay, alliance over! Cody and I are voting you off this very instance! You are dead meat, you golem..." "I didn't think so... I read your entire diary. Therefore, I know of the exact contents. If I notice you're even trying to kick me off, Cody will know everything as well-" "Fine! Fine. Just... keep it to yourself, please." Noah said. He looked into Eva's eyes, trying to find any emotion there. Which was tougher than it sounds. "Please." Eva nodded and walked off.

"Sadie, can't you vote off Justin?" Katie asked. "Hmm... why?" Sadie wondered. "Well, his wounds might heal before he gets kicked off and then we're stuck not knowing who to like again." "Oh my god, you're right! So I have to vote off Justin?" Katie nodded solemnly. (Even I, the very author, am not sure how the two get randomly solemn out of nowhere.)

"Heather, I'm not sure what you're planning to do, but glaring at me isn't gonna help much..." "Get lost, bullhead!" "Impressing. Is swearing at me all you can do? You've really lost your edge..."

[Oh, like he has any idea. Sierra is already on my side. I have access to the restraining order and I'll rip it if she helps me kick off Alejandro. I'm gonna have her annoy Katie until she votes for Sierra just out of spite. Alejandro is a goner by today.] - Heather (Ooh, she actually has plans this time around.)

"...Gwen?" "...What, Cody?" "You don't like Noah, right?" "No, I don't. Smug bastard thinks he can insult everyone around. And then I say something bad back at him, and he flips." Gwen was fuming in her seat. "How about we vote him off?" Gwen looked up at Cody. "You'd do that?" "Yes, I would. Noah's been acting strange and I... I want him out. I'm sure I can convince Eva to vote him off as well." "...Fine. We've got a deal." "...And an alliance?" Gwen thought for a while. "And an alliance."

[Oh please. Like I want an alliance with her. I'm going to convince her to lose, and then she's out. Easy. For the alliance. I bet the merge is coming up soon anyway...] - Cody

"People! Get ready for the next challenge! It's gonna be awesome!" Chris said, entering the lodge. "That's what he always says..." Noah muttered as the campers got up. "Follow me, everyone!"

* * *

"Here we are!" Chris said. "What the dear hell is that?" Duncan asked, looking up. Far up.

"These are exactly sixteen platforms, raised _really_ high. They're coming down as we speak, and you guys are getting up there. The platforms are gonna spin around, and you guys are gonna get _really_ dizzy!" Chris said. "Gee, you're so creative. You looked at our team name, and ta dah! Challenge." "SHUT IT! God, why do I put up with you?" Noah shrugged. "Now, as soon as four people have fallen down, the platforms stop and the rest continues into the next part of the challenge. And as you can see, there's those big cushion thingies, so you guys won't kill yourselves unless you get _really_ stupid." The campers sighed and walked over to the platforms, getting onto the platforms with their team logo on it.

"This is gonna suck..." Geoff said. Bruno tried to walk onto the platform with Bridgette, but she commanded him to sit down, and he obliged. At that moment, the platforms started rising. Chris sniggered before Bruno growled at him, causing him to sign an intern over.

The platforms started spinning. "Oh, and I forgot!" Chris shouted through his megaphone. "If you fall down, there's buttons on the platforms that you can push to make the platforms go faster. You can only press the same button four times. Got it?"

At that moment Heather jumped off, landing perfectly and running over to Alejandro's button, pressing it four times. Alejandro swirled around before vomiting down, barely missing Heather, and falling off. "Oh! Heather! You are so dead!" Katie yelled down.

[Hmm, crap. Sierra is going to have to be really annoying.] - Heather

DJ stood on the swirling platform, remembering what Chris told him to do.

"_Now, in the first challenge, you have to fall and casually press the buttons of all of your team members, but especially Courtney, while getting to the buttons of your opponents. Got it?_"

DJ pretended to fall, and dropped down. He actually fainted while falling down though.

The other campers continued. Courtney kept her calm, while trying not to yell at DJ, remembering Cody's words. Duncan and Trent balanced themselves, glaring at each other. Eva lifted dumbbells on her platform, while Noah read a book. Geoff spun around as his hat fell to the ground. He barely managed to stop himself from trying to catch it and falling in the process. Justin tried desperately not to fall, hoping his face would stay somewhat unharmed for the challenge. Bridgette tried to handle the platform like she was riding a surfboard, albeit a rapidly spinning surfboard. Katie stood motionlessly, her arms crossed and glaring at Heather every time Katie spun around to her.

Eventually, DJ woke up and Courtney ordered him to press the buttons of Team Radiance. As he ran over, he "accidentally" pressed the buttons of his team mates, and as Chris asked of him, he pressed Courtney's four times. She spun around, until the platforms randomly changed directions. She couldn't take it anymore and she fell off, landing next to a "shocked" DJ. "Wow, what happened?", he asked as he helped her up. Above them, the platforms stopped and started descending.

"Heather, Alejandro, DJ and Courtney! The four of you are out!" "Good, can we just go back to the cabins now?" Heather asked. "Nope! You come along." Heather groaned.

[I need Aleheinous away from Katie for a while, so Sierra can work her... charm.] - Heather

Katie stepped off of her platform, glaring at Sierra, who was trying to distract her on the platform. Cody stepped off and Gwen walked up to him. "When?", she asked, softly. "I'll tell you when." Cody answered, following Chris.

[I'm not so sure about this anymore...] - Cody

Chris walked the campers over to a clearing in the woods. Four holes were dug out in the clearing. "You guys see that?" Chris asked. "That's where you're going. You guys are going underground. You have no food or water. You do however have a ladder to climb up. As soon as four people climb up, the challenge is over." Eva scoffed. "Easy."

The campers climbed down. Justin was very careful with his footing.

"And the four of you have a job to do for your team as well." Chris said to the four campers eliminated in the last challenge. "You have to convince the campers to climb out. Got that?" Courtney nodded, getting ready to get people out. "And you aren't allowed to climb down." Courtney huffed.

* * *

"GET THE HELL OUT!" Courtney yelled down the hole. Duncan looked up, an eyebrow raised. "Beat it, princess." Courtney rolled her eyes. "Trent?", she continued, batting her eyelashes. Duncan stared at Trent, his eyebrows raised. Trent shrugged in response.

[I thought she was done with that idea. I'm not interested!] - Trent

"Come on, Gwen! It's so dark down there... And it's just like when you were buried alive, and Trent left you here! I mean, who's gonna save you if you get trapped now?" Heather said, looking around and finding a shovel, which she waved around above the hole. Noah rolled his eyes, but Gwen just looked at Cody, shaking. Cody nodded subtlely, and Gwen screamed, running to the ladder and climbing up. Heather smirked and walked away.

[Okay... I am so over that "buried alive" thing. I was just doing it for the...alliance. ...And it was really dark in there.] - Gwen

"Katie! Sadie is in a whoooole other hooooole! Don't you miss her? OMG, you have to go there!" Katie rolled her eyes at Sierra.

"Ummm... Hey, did you know my fourteenth Cody blog has more than 6000 viewers? Are you one of them? Hmm? ANSWER THE QUESTION, WOMAN. I can get you voted off for it. Rip the restraining order, please?" Sierra continued, trying to make up annoying stuff.

[Oh my god, what is her problem? I should have voted her off earlier...] - Katie

"Sadie, my dear, would you like to join me up here instead of down there with Monster-Face?" Sadie looked at Justin. "Ummm..." Duncan glared at her. "Do you really want to do that?" Sadie screamed and ran away, climbing up the ladder and joining Alejandro. Justin gasped. "Wait, Sadie!"

"Cody! Get out, come on!" Cody laughed and looked up. "You're not even trying." Courtney huffed. "Come on, Cody! I saw you sign for Gwen to get out! Care to explain that to your teammates?" Eva stood abruptly, glaring at Cody. "What?", she growled. Noah stood as well, his eyebrow raised... more than usual. "Excuse me?" Cody squirmed before deciding to climb up. "Was that really necessary?" Courtney smirked. "I do what's asked of me." Cody rolled his eyes. "If I get voted off, I'll make sure to take you down with me." Courtney laughed. "Sure, you do that.", she said, walking off, dusting off her hands.

DJ looked around nervously. He remembered what Chris said to him next.

"_Now you have to convince someone of your team to climb out. Just say you were looking out for their wellbeing. Bridgette would be a good target here, seeing as she has her precious little bear, and we'll keep Bruno behind so that you can make stuff up about him._"

"...Bridgette?" Bridgette looked up. "DJ? What's going on?" DJ hesitated for a moment. "I think there's something wrong with Bruno..." He stuck up his thumb behind his back, signing for Chris to stab the bear in the paw with a small needle, causing the bear to roar and go berserk in his cage. "Oh! Bruno! What happened?" DJ looked behind him. "I'm not sure, something with his paw..." Bridgette looked at Geoff, who nodded, before she climbed up to go help Bruno.

"And that's four! Gwen, Sadie, Cody and Bridgette! You're all eliminated!" Chris waited as the other campers climbed out of the holes. "Come on people, I don't have all day!"

Chris led the campers to the stage, where a row of... interesting human-shaped contraptions stood. "The next challenge: The Shock-A-Tron!" Geoff and Trent cringed, while Noah looked up from his book with a shocked expression on his face. "I could have climbed up and avoided all of this...", he said, shaking his head. Justin nodded, terrified. Katie tried to run, but Sierra stopped her. "We're going in there! GET IN THERE." Katie struggled to get away from her as Sierra pulled her towards the contraptions.

Duncan scoffed. "Really? Like we were never electrocuted before on this show." Eva nodded, walking towards the contraptions. "Bring it."

"Of course, with the She-Hulk on your team, you can't go wrong!" Heather said to Gwen. "You're so gonna win!" Gwen looked at her funny. "Why in the world...?" Heather leaned in close. "I'm trying to get Katie and Sierra to lose. I want Alejandro out." Gwen shook her head. "Eva, you don't have to do this!", she yelled. Eva turned around frowning. "Of course I'm gonna do it. What's your problem?", she said, partially to Cody.

[Knew the guy was trouble. He's too... fussy. Not alliance material.] - Eva

[I don't think I can do this... My dad is a lawyer!] - Trent

[Well, I don't know how to get Geoff out... I don't remember! I'm screwed. ...I'm sorry, mommy!] - DJ

"Well, get in there!" The campers carefully got into the contraptions. They could be best described as armor, but with electric wires. Interns attached the campers to the wires. "Now, the contraptions are gonna close, and you'll notice a little red button will pop out for a while. If you press said button, the contraction opens, but you will be eliminated from the challenge, so Geoff, if you do so, your team is out!" Courtney glared at Geoff.

"After the buttons disappear again, you'll recieve a shock for ten seconds. Afterwards, the button will appear again. You can press it anytime, atthe cost of your team losing another member." Chris then turned to the eliminated campers. "And you guys also have a role to play: You can choose one camper each to... "support". This camper will get two seconds added to the shock. This will hurt for them, but it also gives them less time to recover and press the button." Chris chuckled. "So, who's it gonna be?"

"Geoff." Courtney immediately said. "Oh!" Geoff said, pissed off. "Courtney!" Bridgette exclaimed. "We can't have him pressing that button. We're losing, people." Courtney rolled her eyes.

"Well, I pick Eva." Eva growled from the contraption as Bridgette recoiled.

"Hmm... I pick Sierra." Cody said. "Sadistic move, there. I pick Sierra as well." Gwen smirked.

"I pick... uh..." DJ was interrupted by Courtney. "Just pick!" "KATIE!" Katie gasped. "Sorry..."

"Noah." Noah glared at Heather, who then turned to face Alejandro. "And you?" Alejandro looked at the campers. "Duncan."

"Ooh! I pick Geoff!" Sadie said, before Justin explained to her that that would only help Team Starlight out. By then it was already too late, as the contraptions closed.

"And here we go!" The buttons popped out. Justin didn't hesitate for a second, pressing it and running off.

* * *

"OOOOOW!" Trent screamed as he was shocked. Courtney clapped as Duncan was electrocuted. After the shock, Noah pressed the button, walking out slightly dazed. "You can... handle it, can't you... Eva?" Eva rolled her eyes. She hadn't felt a thing.

"Only two more to go! You guys are weak!" Chris complained as the other campers glared. Sierra made funny faces, distracting Katie. The next shock commenced, and afterwards, Katie pressed the button. "That sucked, seriously." She walked over to Sadie and Alejandro, stumbling and falling right before Alejandro. He helped her up, and Katie stared into his eyes for a second before she turned to glare at Sierra. "She's crazy. Wow." Alejandro raised an eyebrow. "But if we lose, you're still gonna vote for Heather, right?" Katie nodded absently.

[What the hell?] - Alejandro

Another shock happened, and another one, and another one. After a while, both Sierra and Geoff were about to pass out. The both of them reached for the button. Heather and DJ both looked at the action intensely as Geoff ended up pressing first. "NO!" Courtney screamed as Geoff fell out of the contraption. Bridgette glared at her. "That's my boyfriend you're talking about. What the hell is going on in your head if you want to see him electrocuted more than seeing us lose?" Bridgette stormed off, with Bruno growling at Courtney before following her.

"Team Starlight! You lose, and have to vote someone off today!" Chris announced. "Yes!" DJ said, softly enough so that no one could hear him. Or that's what he thought, at least. "What do you mean, yes?" Courtney said, her arms crossed behind him. "I mean... Yes, Geoff doesn't have to be shocked anymore?" DJ said, not even sounding sincere to himself. Courtney tilted her head, examining DJ for a while before walking off.

The four remaining campers, follow me! The rest, get the hell out of my face!" The four followed Chris.

* * *

"You know I'm going to be aiming at you, no matter what the challenge is, right?" Duncan said to Trent. "Likewise." Trent answered, not even taking the time to look Duncan in the eyes.

"Here we are!" Chris said, arriving at... the lodge.

"The last challenge is actually not off in the woods somewhere? Wow, that's new." Trent commented.

"It's the simple sport of arm wrestling!" Chris said. Duncan, Trent and Sierra looked at Eva nervously.

"Okay, here's how it goes: Trent versus Eva, Duncan versus Sierra. We got that?" The campers sat down according to Chris's directions. "Please promise me you'll go easy on me." Trent asked Eva. "Eh, whatever."

"GO!" Instantly, Eva snapped Trent's arm down. "OOOOOW!" Trent said. "Ow, ow, ow... I thought you said you were gonna go easy on me?" "I was going easy on you." Trent backed off, inspecting his arm. Not long after, Sierra defeated Duncan. "That girl's freakishly strong!" Duncan said, walking off.

"And the final match! Like we don't know who's gonna win." Chris said, chuckling. "Go!" Eva and Sierra started trying to push each other's arm down. Surprisingly, Sierra didn't go down straight away, but she did struggle. "Ummm... Wait!" Eva didn't exactly listen. Sierra tried to distract her more. "You! You're in Cody's team, right? You help me get rid of that restraining order! C'mon!" Eva started getting annoyed. "You're basically the best ripper ever! You're a lumbering hulk! You're so strong, no one can ever deal with you! Of course, no one can ever like you either, seeing as you're basically a creepy bodybuilder..." Eva snapped and got up. "SHUT UP OR I'LL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY!" Chris walked up to the two of them. "Well, Eva, you basically quit, so Team Defeat wins!" "Argh! Whatever! I'm out of here!" Eva said, breaking a table on her way out.

Chris and Sierra followed her. "Team Defeat! You win this challenge. Team Starlight, kick someone out!" Bridgette crossed her arms and glared at Courtney.

[So now everyone on my team hates me. I guess I'm going to be voted off today..." - Courtney

* * *

"EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP! WHEN I AM COOKING I DEMAND QUIET! ANYONE WANT A KNIFE IN THEIR FACE?" Keith yelled out from the kitchen.

"Wow, what's your issue?" Duncan said. Keith ran out of the kitchen, knife in hand. "WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU, MOTHERFUCKER?" Chris walked in, inspecting Keith. "AND YOU! GOD DAMN YOU! WITH YOUR FUCKING TEAL HAIR!" Gwen raised an eyebrow. "AND HEY NERDGASMIC, HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH THE LADIES TODAY?" Cody sighed and looked down. "AND YOU'RE TOO FUCKING UGLY FOR WORDS!", he yelled at Justin.

"Oh wow. This is comedy gold." Chris said, laughing. "AND THEN THERE'S YOU! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PAYCHECK?" "...You're fired. No one yells at me." Several interns dragged Keith off the premises.

"Sooo... are you gonna get Chef back?" Geoff asked Chris. "Uh, no. He's not coming back, ever." Chris said, walking over to the kitchen and dumping the unfinished food onto the plates. "You do know that Chef is now the chef at the Playa De Losers, right?" Noah asked. "WHAT?" Chris yelled out. "Yup." Noah nodded. "How the hell do you know that?" "I know everything." "You don't know how to catch a dodgeball!" Heather interjected from her table. Chris kept glaring at Noah. "Fine. Chef left behind his little screen. I found it and figured out that it shows the Playa too. See?" He grabbed the screen, showing Chef at the barbeque, being bothered by Izzy.

"GET HIM BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! IF I HAVE TO SPEND MY DAYS STUCK ON THIS ISLAND, SO WILL HE!" "...Doesn't Chris have a private jet?" Cody commented. Noah snorted.

[What? The guy had a point.] - Noah

* * *

"Honestly Bridgette, that bear is the worst thing ever to have happened to us." Bridgette looked up from where she was sitting, petting Bruno. "What? Why?" "Seriously, Bridge? The bear will barely let me touch you! Maybe we should've kept Blaineley in just so she could be his chew toy..." Bridgette decided that was the best time to stop talking altogether in favor of making a face like she was trying to think really hard, much to Geoff's frustration. "...WHAT?" Bridgette looked up again. "How did Blaineley heal from a full body cast so quickly?" Geoff gave it a bit of thought, but decided not to dwell on it. "Whatever, Bridge. Does it really matter that much?" "And Alejandro was in a machine! What happened there?" "Not sure. Does it matter?" Bridgette shook her head. "...Wait! I was talking about Bruno!"

"So, an alliance with Gwen, huh?" Noah said. Cody didn't dare look into his eyes. "No... You don't understand! I was doing it for our alliance!" Eva raised her fist very close to Cody's face. "If you're not telling the truth, you're dead!" "Calm it, Eva, you don't have to threaten people's lives just yet." Noah said, walking over to Cody's bed very slowly. He leaned down to look Cody in the eyes. "If ywe find out you're lying, you are out of here before you could even say "elimination". Got that?" Cody nodded. "If you are telling the truth, then keep doing it." Cody nodded again. "Well, that's settled." Noah said, standing upright again. Cody bolted out as fast as he could.

Eva sat down on what was formerly Ezekiel's bed. "Okay, so what's your problem today?" Eva looked up for a second before looking down. "I'm completely unlovable, aren't I?" Noah stopped raising his eyebrow. "Wait, where did this come from?" "Oh, come on, Noah. I beat every guy in the game today. I'm a monster compared to your average girl. I'm not even a girl anymore." Noah sat down next to her. "Okay, I don't mean to be blunt here... Well, to be honest, I kinda do... Do you have a vagina?" Eva stared at him for a moment. "...Yes..." "And congratulations! You are a girl." Eva scoffed. "Not a real one, though..." "What don't you get about this? Girls, and people for that matter, come in many different sizes and shapes. There are guys bigger than houses. You'll find someone. Eventually. Not me, you read the diary, but someone else." Eva smiled and got up. "Now, if you'd like to follow me, please..." Eva followed Noah outside with a confused look on her face.

Noah walked out and walked over to the campfire, where Team Starlight was waiting. Courtney huffed and got up when she saw the two. "What are you doing here? If you've come to make fun of us, don't bother!" "We're not. Although it's very tempting." Noah said, walking over to the fire. "I have come to do..." He grabbed his diary out of his pocket. "...this." He threw the diary into the fire, burning it to ashes. We walked off calmly, with a confused Eva still following him.

"Why did you do that?" Eva asked. "I read through it and I realised something." "Which iiiis...?" "I grew feelings. I needed to get rid of that." Eva snorted and walked off. Noah walked back to the cabin, smiling.

* * *

"Ugh. Just move it along already!" Courtney complained as Chris walked over, holding the tray of marshmallows. Chris laughed. "Be patient, you deserve to wait."

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Okay, but before I get kicked off, can I just say that I know?" Chris raised an eyebrow. "You know... What are you talking about?"

"About DJ!" Courtney screamed, raising her arms to the sky. "He's so obvious! He fell on purpose in the first challenge, he got Bridgette out in the second... He was out at night, coming out of your office... His curse is gone... Like I'm that stupid!" Chris whistled. "Well, guess she figured it out! DJ, you're out." "What?" DJ looked at Chris, shocked. "But I did everything you asked!" "But you were caught. Obviously, you're gonna get kicked off soon anyway, so why not now?" Chris started handing the marshmallows to the three other campers. "But you can't just do that!" Chris turned his head to face DJ as he gave Bridgette her marshmallow. Geoff was standing behind him, munching on his marshmallow. "My game, my rules. You're out!" DJ sighed. "Well, am I allowed to know who would be voted off?"

"Courtney, of course."

* * *

[I vote for DJ. I mean, I figured out he's Chris's mole by now. Bruno's wound looked like it was done by a human.] - Bridgette

[DJ is obviously a mole. I mean, come on! I'm not stupid!] - Courtney

[Well, I've tried all I can to get Courtney voted off. Let's hope it works.] - DJ

[I vote for DJ! Dude, taking out team out? Not cool!] - Geoff

* * *

"Oh well." DJ walked onto the Dock of Shame. "Hey DJ!" Chris said. DJ turned around. "Catch." He threw the mummified dog. DJ caught it, but it disintegrated in his hands. Instantly, Bruno went crazy and started chasing DJ. He ran off onto the Boat of Losers, with Bruno following him. Bruno starting attacking DJ as the boat departed. "Bruno! Come back!" Bridgette screamed. "Bruno! Stop pummeling me!" DJ yelled. Bruno didn't listen to any of them.

"Well! That's settled! DJ was voted off for being the suckiest mole I ever had, and that's including Owen! The merge is getting ever closer, and that brings us to many questions: Will Trent and Duncan ever stop hating each other? Are there still parts of Noah's diary left? How did Katie and Sadie not get voted off yet? Get the answer some time later, or maybe never, on Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!"

* * *

"AAAAAH! BRUNO! STOP!"

* * *

Well, that's done! Argh, these damn challenges...

Ha! Fooled you! No, but did you really think I was gonna fire Chef? Of course not. I am trying to get him back into the story, though, even though I'm not sure how.

So, DJ's been booted! Let's face it, he'd never be a good mole. And Courtney escaped getting "voted off" for the second time in a row! Chris must really hate her now.

Well, and I cannot stress this enough, review!


	10. Feel The Pressure

It's weekend again! I was extra creative last week, so this chapter is probably gonna be shit to make up for that.

I hit the 40000 word mark last chapter! I'm very excited about that, because it means that when you filter the stories to only include 40000 word stories, mine's still there. Now, the highest filter you get is 100000, and seeing as I'm not even halfway through, that could actually happen. Here's hoping.

Anyway, my friend managed to confuse my other friend by telling him I was writing a review for the original show. He got a little bit confused when I told him it was 40000 words long.

The problem with this chapter is that I'm absolutely stuck on who to boot off now. I mean, I know there's a few people that have got to stay, no matter what, but then I'll still be stuck... Also, the 26 episode picture I set up for myself is probably gonna have to be broken off as well, so oops...

Disclaimer: ...I totally forgot this one last time, didn't I?

Oh well. Happy reading!

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama Tournament: DJ became my mole, and failed at doing his job. The diary we wanted to steal from Noah was burned, so that's less than useless to us now, and Courtney is getting on everyone's nerves! Yay! I hired a new cook, but he sucked, so Chef's back, because he'd have a better life otherwise and I could not let that happen. Everyone tried to lose at the same time, which really sucked the fun out of DJ being the mole. DJ also ended up being kicked out, because everyone figured out he was my lousy mole. Why couldn't Heather have an animal curse?"

Chris walked over to the lodge. "Today, the campers are gonna have to try to work together with the other teams! Which, if you look at on which terms these people are with each other, is probably not gonna work out. It's gonna be fun for me though!"

He opened the door.

"He's my bear! I can't just get rid of him! That would be heartless!" "Well, he's messing up everything we had! You should never have taken that stupid bear from Siberia!" "How dare you call Bruno stupid!" Bruno growled, something most of the campers have stopped paying attention to, since he never actually attacks.

"Well, if he won't let you near me, I don't wanna be anymore!" "Oh, come on, Geoff!" "NO! It's either the bear, or me!" "Bruno doesn't have anywhere to go!" "Oh please! He can go anywhere! He swam all the way back from the Playa de Losers! I didn't even know bears could swim in the first place!" "He came back to me! He needs me!" "So do I!" "...I know. But..." "Sorry, Bridgette. We're over."

[I can't believe this! I paid them money to break up, and they end up doing it without anyway? I cannot freaking believe this!] - Chris

[Stupid bear!] - Geoff

[Oh, great. That's just what our team needs. ...Of course, if they're both too busy arguing with each other, they won't vote off me...] - Courtney

[Again? For real this time? ...Oh, I get it. Geoff and Bridge are trying to get the two million purely from breaking up every few episodes.] - Gwen

[Oh my god, I feel so sorry for Bridgette! I can't imagine if that were to happen with me and... oh wait... nobody...] - Sadie

[...I mean, why do I waste money on these people? ...And why am I venting in this gross old shack? I have an office!] - Chris

"Right! Both of you, shut it and eat! You're gonna need Chef's trash for the next challenge!"

"Get no damn appreciation..." Chef grumbled, shooting food onto plates at random intervals.

"...Why are the two of you being so quiet?" Cody asked Noah and Eva. The two just shuffled their food around for a bit (providing that it wasn't glued down onto the plate).

"Come on, you guys! What's going on?" Cody pushed. "Nothing." Noah answered. "Hmm... 'Kay then..."

[I don't get it. What's going on? Did I do something wrong?] - Cody

[Damn it, Noah. Now I can't even properly talk to Cody without knowing you're probably drooling behind me...] - Eva

[Ugh...] - Noah

"So, your little plan failed. Did you really think it was a good idea to make an alliance with Sierra?" Alejandro said, leaning over the table. "Oh, shut it! I'll get you out soon enough!" "Oh, I don't think so. The merge is coming up soon enough, and you'll be the first one voted off when it's here." "Oh, I don't think so! You were the villain the third season!" "Yeah, and they obviously still hate me for that..." Alejandro smirked and walked away, knowing he'd leave Heather fuming behind him. He walked past the Team Dizzy table. "Nice book, Noah. Goes with your eyes." Noah rolled said eyes.

"What was that about?" Gwen said, sitting down. "Alehooker." Noah said, not wanting to claw Gwen's eyes out for once. "He's obviously trying to string me into an alliance. Somehow." He excused himself to throw his "food" away, something he tended to do whenever he didn't want to talk about something.

[Shrimp should stop throwing away all his food every time he's nervous about something. He's scrawny enough as it is.] - Eva

Eva followed him. "So what was that about?" Noah shrugged, avoiding eye contact. "Oh please. You expect me to believe you, resident know-it-all, don't know why the biggest hunk here flirted with you?" "I don't know!" Noah hissed, crossing his arms. "I don't get why he thinks I still want to have anything to do with him. I hate his ass." "It looks pretty good to me..." "Eva!" "Just saying. So what's your issue with him anyway?" "Are you kidding me? He's the one that kicked me out of the game for figuring him out. Why would he even care? There was no one left who was smart enough to believe me anyway!" "Owen and Tyler are pretty dumb..." Eva agreed. "I just don't get him." Noah walked back to the table, effectively ending the conversation.

"Katie! There's drool all over my garbage!" "Oh my god, Heather, whatever. And how do you know it's not Sierra's?" "There's still some on your face." Katie wiped it off her face. "Whatever, Heather." Katie walked off, presumably to Sadie.

[My entire team is driving me insane! When is that merge coming up? Even if I do get voted off, it'll be a mercy kill!] - Heather

Katie walked over to the Team Radiance table to find Sadie, horrified, watching as Trent and Duncan fought. "Oh my god, you guys! Stop fighting!" "Yeah, I mean, come on. Everyone knows you're just pissed that Bridgette and Geoff had a more impressive fight than the two of you. Just stop, it's getting boring." The two did stop fighting, if only to glare at Katie.

"Alright, campers! Throw your trash in the trash and follow me!" Chris avoided a ball of glue, courtesy of Chef, causing it to stick to Justin's face.

* * *

"What is this?" Gwen asked, an eyebrow raised as the campers walked over to a row of rectangular holes in the ground. "Chris, we already had to stay inside a hole last time. Think of something new, please!" Heather groaned. "I really haven't been able to properly test my skills lately." Courtney added. "Careful, starting to sound like Harold there..." Cody said. "Don't compare me to Harold!" Courtney fumed while Bridgette and Noah laughed. Duncan chuckled as well, with a surprised look on his face. "Nice one, Chicken Little!" Courtney stormed off before Bridgette stopped her.

"Riiight... Anyway, this challenge is gonna be a bit different!" Chris said, before ducking to avoid Justin's flailing. "Could someone get that glue off his face?" Chris rolled his eyes. "As you can see, we've got fifteen elevators going down here, so you'll get in there. You see one button in there, which will reel you back up at the cost of forfeiting the challenge. The elevator will lower a bit, after which you will stay in the elevator for two hours. And we might make it a little harder for you..." Eva shrugged. "Whatever."

"And if you survive the two hours, the elevator will go all the way down, where you'll be pushing each other into coffins! Don't hold back, really stuff them in! You all hate each other anyway! The four people who survive that will continue to the last challenge, which I'll explain when you guys are there."

The campers walked into the elevators, with Justin being led in by Sadie and Sierra tried to grab Cody and pull him in before being stopped by Noah and Eva. Chris grabbed a remote control and pressed a button. The elevators started descending.

[This can't be that bad, right? ...Right?] - Bridgette

[Been there, done that. They can't keep throwing the claustrophobia card at us. Although Gwen does have that issue. Eh, we'll kick her out.] - Noah

[Whatev. What can he possibly have that can scare me off now?] - Katie

"Hehe, this gon' be good..." Chef said. Chris chuckled. The two then looked at each other and looked away fast, blushing.

* * *

'Uh... I'm not sure about this...' Gwen thought as the elevator stopped. She waited for a moment, and then pressed the button before panicking as the elevator went up.

[They need to stop with these challenges! It's like... they're trying to boot me off...?] - Gwen

Chris chuckled as Gwen's elevator reached the surface, with her getting out and screaming, running around in circles. "And we haven't even started the torture yet!", he said, pushing a button on his remote. He then watched on Chef's screen, giggling.

The elevators started filling up with water. "Uh... I don't think... Is this supposed to happen?" Trent asked no one in particular (although he probably knew Chris was watching). "What the hell? Chris, you have got to be kidding me! Go drown us, why don't you?" Heather huffed. "Hmph! Hmmm! HMM-MMPH!" Justin exclaimed, the glue still stuck to his face. He tried to hit the button, but he couldn't find it, the glue obscuring his vision.

"EEK!" Katie screamed as the water reached her waist. "Oh my god, Chris, this is madness! You're a psychopath! EEEE!"

"I know!" Chris laughed as Katie pressed the button repeatedly. Chef was waiting for her, and when the elevator doors opened (and the water gushed out), he aimed a giant blow dryer at her, blowing her back into the elevator. "Oh my god, I am so suing you people!" Chris looked at her. "With what lawyers?" Katie screamed in frustration.

Chris pushed another button. The water was drained, soon followed by mosquitos entering the elevators. "Ugh! This is disgusting!" Heather screamed out. "Oh please." Duncan said, swatting the bugs.

"Ah! No, I hate mosquitos!" Bridgette screamed, pressing the button. "Not such a nature lover now, are you?" Chris sneered.

Bridgette's elevator reached the surface, soon followed by Trent.

"Eh, this is getting boring." Chris said, pushing another button. Katie ran over to Chef's screen, trying to see what the button did. "Extreme heat." Chris explained. As the water was drained from the elevators, Katie could make out sweat on several people's foreheads.

"You've got to be kidding me. I'm an ice princess, I don't like the heat!" Heather said, pressing the button with considerable force. Cody also pushed the button soon after.

[I wear layers. Heat does not match with that...] - Cody

After a while, the elevators lowered further. "Wait, this was two hours already? This is easy!" Courtney said, getting ready to run out. The elevator doors opened, revealing all of the elevators landed at what seemed like the inside of a mausoleum. "Ooh, spooky." Noah said, rolling his eyes, right before Sierra attacked him. "You are going into a coffin!"

The nine campers started the next part of the challenge.

* * *

"Get off him, stalker sap." Eva said calmly, throwing Sierra into a coffin and closing it.

"Well, I think I might need to find a restraining order as well..." Noah said before Duncan shoved him into a coffin. Eva reacted by attacking Duncan. "Yeah, see, this is not the kind of wrestling with the ladies I typically enjoy..." "Get used to it, because most of us here are way stronger than you." Eva grunted as she tried to stuff Duncan into a coffin. Duncan managed to escape her grip right before Alejandro tripped him into one of the coffins.

"Get into that coffin!" Courtney said, trying to push Sadie into one of the coffins. "Oh my god, forget it! You get in!" Sadie replied, struggling to fight against Courtney's freaky strength.

"You are so dead!" Courtney screamed. On the surface, Cody rolled his eyes. Courtney never remembered anyone's advice for longer than two days.

Sadie screamed as Courtney jumped up to attack. "Fine! Fine! I'll get in there!", she said, getting into the coffin. Courtney sat down on the coffin and scanned the room for Geoff.

He had been trying to avoid the other campers when he stumbled upon a little corridor. He walked in, figuring he could hide out for a while. He looked behind him to make sure no one had followed him. He then turned back around and screamed.

Bruno was right in front of him. "Good bear, good evil killer bear..." Geoff stammered, walking back slowly. He then continued to trip, and Bruno attacked him.

Bridgette screamed as she watched. "Bruno! No!" Chris had already taken the elevator down. Two interns followed him to pick up Geoff.

He twitched as he was carried out. Bridgette ran over. "Are you okay?", she asked. "Yeah...yeahmfiiine..." Geoff mumbled before the intern carried him over to the infirmary.

"Eva, Alejandro, Courtney and Justin! The four of you are the final four remain- Can somebody please get Justin to stop flailing around?" Alejandro grabbed Justin, making sure it'd hurt. "Hmmph!" Justin mumbled, trying to get the glue off.

"Follow me, please." Chris said, walking off.

* * *

"Here we are!" "Hmmwheremmph?" Justin mumbled. Alejandro slapped him on the back of his head to shut him up. "What's that?" Courtney asked, pointing to four machines in the small room Chris had led the four. "Are those..." "As a tribute to DJ, the final challenge is Whack-A-DJ!" Courtney rolled her eyes. Eva grabbed one of the hammers lined up on the wall, raising it over her head. "You three, grab the other hammers." The campers grabbed the hammers and stood in front of the machines. "Now, you have to get as many DJ's as you can in two minutes. You ready? Hah, why am I asking? I don't care! GO!"

Small DJ's popped out of the holes. Courtney went to work on the machine, hammering away. Alejandro hit the DJ's with excellent timing.

[I'm extremely accurate. And I like hitting things that look like people.] - Alejandro

Eva hit the DJ's with a bored look on her face. "Is this the best you've got?" Meanwhile, Justin tried to hit the targets, but due to the glue on his face, he was mostly hitting Alejandro's feet. Annoyed, Alejandro hit Justin with his hammer, knocking him out.

"Play dirty all you want, I'm still gonna win!" Courtney yelled at Alejandro, hitting another DJ, one that had a particularly terrified expression on his face. Eva took a glance at Courtney's scores and widened her eyes in shock when she found out Courtney had a higher score than her. She became enraged and started smashing her machine, breaking part of it.

"Aaand... time's up! Let's see!" Courtney stopped, leaning on her hammer, smirking. "In first place, we have Courtney! Over a hundred DJ's, nice!" The other campers glared at Courtney. Well, except Justin of course. He had just planted his face onto the tiles.

"Alejandro, you're in second, with a score of 72!" Alejandro smirked as Eva turned redder and redder, smoke basically coming out of her ears.

"Eva, you're third, mainly because your rampage on the machine halved your score, so you got 65." Chris laughed as Eva roared.

"Justin, you didn't hit a single DJ! Your team loses and has to send someone home tonight!" Justin mumbled something unpronounceable from his position on the floor.

He got up and finally managed to peel the glue off of his face. "OW! Ah, finally..." He then noticed the other three were laughing at him, and he pulled out a mirror. "AAAH! Where the hell are my eyebrows?"

* * *

Chris sat in his office, flipping through the mail. God, who invented bills?

He looked up as someone knocked on the door. He got up, throwing his bills back onto his desk as he opened the door.

"What the hell, Chris?" Chris raised an eyebrow as Gwen waltzed in. "What?"

"What's with all the claustrophobia challenges?" Gwen yelled. Chris chuckled. "You got pretty far in Season 1, so the executives decided from Season 2 on your time here should be spent suffering." Gwen groaned. "Great. Why not just kick me off right now?" She stormed out. "Get the door on your way out!" Chris yelled after her.

Seconds after Gwen had closed the door, Bridgette opened it.

"...What?" Chris said, glaring at Bridgette. "Is Geoff gonna be okay?", she asked. "No. He's broken several bones, he's got flesh wounds, scratches, bite marks, and so on..." Chris said, sitting back down. "Oh god!" Bridgette gasped. "You got him eliminated from the game. Good on ya." "I didn't do anything! You led Bruno down there!" Bridgette said, leaning on the table. "Oh yeah, about Bruno, the producers felt it'd be better to get him off the island. So you just go say your last goodbyes, and I'll be over here actually doing something useful." Bridgette gasped and ran off crying. Soon after, Sierra opened the door again.

"And what do you want?" Chris yelled. Sierra didn't say anything. Instead, she decided to knock Chris out, using only the palm of her hand. She then started looking through cabinets until she found what she was looking for: the restraining order. "Yes!" She grabbed it, but before she could do anything with it, she was tackled by Chef. Chef then continued to throw her out and hit Chris to wake him up. "Huh-wha?" Chris got up, dusting himself off. "That sneaky hag! Stalker sap!" Chef rolled his eyes. "You're welcome..." He walked out, leaving the door open for Heather.

"..." Chris glared at Heather. "...What?" Heather got in. "I was just wondering, could I take a look at that restraining or-" Chris pushed her out and slammed the door in her face. "These people..."

"Hey, Noah." Noah turned around. "Ugh... Whaaat?", he whined. He was not in the mood for Alejandro right now. "Would you like to join me on the dock?" Alejandro asked, flipping on his fourth killer smile. "Not really, no..." Noah said, rolling his eyes. "Oh, come on, Noah. You and I both know you're dying to be with me." Killer smile number three. Noah blushed and looked away. "Stop flattering yourself...", he said. Alejandro moved closer, taking a hold of Noah's arm and gently leading him over to the dock, where he sat down. "Noah, you know we're the most intelligent people here. If we combined our forces, no one would stand a chance. And if I may say so, your intelligence is really... hot." Alejandro flashed killer smile number six, and Noah gasped softly. "I don't know..." "I'll protect you. What do you say? ...Do you want me?" Noah looked into his eyes and closed the distance between them.

[And he fell for it. Or me, actually. I'll use his brains for a while, and then I'll drop him. He'll be sorry he ever met me.] - Alejandro

"Court?" Bridgette entered the cabin. "Yes?" Courtney sat on her bunk, flipping through some papers. Bridgette had no idea what they were or what was on them. "Hey, so what's Geoff's condition?" Courtney asked before Bridgette could say anything. "Bad." Bridgette answered. "He might still be in the hospital for quite a while." "So, will he be able to come back?" Courtney asked, with little to no interest for Geoff's actual wellbeing. "Of course not." Bridgette shook her head. "Well, great! One by one, our pathetic team members drop out, leaving us to fend for ourselves, like we don't have enough problems as it is, and- Bridge, what's wrong?"

She sat down next to Bridgette, who had burst into tears. "It's just... I feel so terrible about breaking up with G-geoff and now he's in the hospital, and- and now Bruno has to go and all... all you care about is this dumb contest! I hate this place!" Bridgette cried. "Oh, honey..." Courtney hugged her. "I'm sorry, I just... I've been stressed out lately. Lack of sleep and all.", she said, shaking her head. "And-wait, does Bruno have to go?"

"Yes! The producers thought it would be best to not have him around anymore, so that further lawsuits could be avoided or something..." Bridgette said. "Are you sure you haven't seen him?" "Sorry, Bridge, no idea." "They probably already moved him out or something." Bridgette cradled her head in her hands. "Listen, Bridge, here's the deal. Geoff made you choose between Bruno or him. At the end of the day, you lost both. Go to the infirmary and make up with Geoff. I want one relationship on this island to be somewhat stable, please." Bridgette looked up at her. She sniffed once, then smiled and got up. "Thanks, Courtney. If only everyone else knew you like I do." She ran out. Courtney frowned. "Doesn't everyone like and admire me?"

"Agh!" Duncan yelled out, jumping up from his bunk. "What the hell happened to your face?" Justin sighed and sat down. "The glue came off." "Taking your eyebrows with you..." Trent said from his bunk. "Yup." "Dude, that's just messed up. I can't even stand looking at you! It's just disgusting! Your entire face is disgusting!" Duncan said. Justin started crying and ran out. Duncan started laughing hysterically. "...Dude... What the hell was that about?" Trent asked, an eyebrow raised. "Just wanted to see what he'd do." Duncan said in between breaths.

"Sadie." Sadie turned around. "Oh my god, Katie, you scared me!" "Do you know who you're gonna vote off yet?" "Uh... Well, I'd like it if Trent and Duncan would stop fighting..." Katie grabbed Sadie by the shoulders. "Sadie, you are gonna vote off Justin, right?" Sadie squirmed. "Sadie!" "I don't know! I feel so bad for him! He got all those injuries, and he used to look so good... It's such a fall from grace..." "Right. Just vote on him. Put him out of his suffering." "I guess..." "Good." Katie said, walking away.

[Oh my god, when all my friends at school see how awesome I am, they are so gonna make me head cheerleader!] - Katie

* * *

"So. After this elimination, you'll be down to three people. Not quite as pathetic as Team Starlight of course..." Duncan chuckled.

"Still, you pretty much suck. Most viewers are probably actively wondering why you're still in." Sadie and Justin sighed. Trent and Duncan rolled their eyes.

"So! Who of you isn't sucky enough to get thrown out?" Chris said.

"Well, first of all, Trent." Trent got up, grinning as he got his marshmallow.

"Sadie." Sadie ran around in circles around Chris until he just threw the marshmallow at her face.

"So. Duncan and Justin." Duncan scoffed. "Like it's gonna be me!" "Well, you did get thrown into a coffin by Alejandro and Eva, meaning you're such a jerk two people found the need to shut you up." "Oh, you're one to talk!" Duncan yelled out. "And Justin. Spectacularly lost the last challenge. And you've become a circus freak. Guess being the perfect test tube baby can only get you so far..." Justin scowled at Chris.

"The person not voted off..." Chris cringed. "You really look freaky, Justin."

"Anyway, of course Duncan's safe."

* * *

[I vote for Justin. Dude, that face is messed up. How much longer do I have to look at that?] - Duncan

[I vote for Duncan. That guy is... really mean!] - Justin

[Oh my god, I vote for Justin. I never thought I'd say that! Oh my god...] - Sadie

[As much as Duncan still bothers me, I vote for Justin. Dude's become the new Tyler, it's pathetic.] - Trent

* * *

"I figured." Justin walked onto the dock. He then turned around. "But just wait! I'll get my revenge!"

"I'm sure of it." Chris said. "But, uh, we need to get rid of Bruno, and we don't have a seperate ride, sooo... he's gonna have to come with you. But I'm sure your blinding beauty will... oh wait." Chris chuckled.

"Aw, fuck!" Justin exclaimed. Right about then, a distant growl was heard. "Oh crap! AAAAAH!" Justin screamed as Bruno chased him onto the boat.

"See ya!" Chris waved.

"Aaanyway, thus concludes another episode of Total Drama Tournament! Will next episode be the merge? Will Alejandro get Noah booted off? Can someone finally get rid of Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Idiot? Will we stop with the claustrophobia-inducing challenges? Will Courtney, Heather, Sierra, or Duncan finally drive everyone crazy? Find out on the next episode of Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!"

* * *

"BRUNO! STOP! OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, I'M BEGGING YOU! MY MODELING AGENCIES ARE GONNA KILL ME! MY LIFE IS OVER!"

* * *

[...So, you people think you're all so smart, don't you? Just wait. I'm going to make every single one of you so sorry. Just wait until I win the two million, and make sure the money goes to killing pretty much every one of you. YOU'LL ALL PAY FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!] - ?

* * *

Ooh, drama! Or anviliciousness. Anyways, I really don't like this chapter. Shorter than usual and after a hiatus of several weeks.

Sorry about that, by the way. School gets to you.

So, review, pretty pretty pretty please!


	11. Pole Dancers: The Pole Sequel

It has been a hell of a long time. Jeeeesus.

Sorry for the hiatus, sorry for last chapter, and... I dunno, sorry for that thing with the blender, your goldfish and the neighbours' annoying kid?

Although you probably had mixed feelings about that one yourself.

I'll try to focus on making up somewhat less... weirdass challenges. Last one was just out of control with the elevators and the coffins and the Whack-A-DJ shit.

I'll try to keep the updates somewhat frequent from now on, but with the way I tend to handle school, things could get hectic around here.

So... Yeah.

Disclaimer: ...You know.

Happy reading!

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama Tournament: Tension ran ever higher as the campers went down the path of Hell. At least, that's what the producers told me the last challenge represented. Whatever. Aaanyway, Justin got eliminated. And to believe I once thought we could be related. Ha! He wishes. And Geoff... Oh my god, that was just the funniest... He got mauled by a bear! Stop, you're killing me here!"

"Oh, and Alejandro and Noah hooked up. Shocker, I know!"

Chris walked into the lodge.

"Bridge, it'll be okay!" Courtney said, with her arm around Bridgette's shoulder. "N-No it won't be-because Geoff is in the, in the hospital, and Bruno is gone, and I don't even- Oh god, I don't even know where they sent him!" Bridgette stammered while crying hysterically. Courtney, Gwen and Sadie were trying to comfort her.

"So, Noah." Eva said, completely ignoring the sobbing girl. "You and Alejandro hooked up, huh?" Noah spit out his water. "No we didn't! What the hell, Eva! How could you even think-" "Courtney saw you making out." "We didn't make out! We kissed. Once. It's nothing big." "Nothing big? This is Alejandro. The guy who fed your little geek crush to the sharks? ...Oh. So that's what this is about. You're trying to forget about Cody by dating Alejandro? That's just a new low." Noah got up, leaning on the table. "At least I had a low! You've never even been up!" Eva got up as well, clenching her fist. Right then, Cody decided to sit down at the table, before looking at the two of them with his eyebrow raised.

Noah and Eva sat back down, continuing the inspection of their so-called food.

"So, Alejandro, huh? You know, I think it's funny how no one even questions whether any of you swing the other way." Cody said. "Hell, I don't even know if this one swings the normal way." Eva said, pointing at Noah.

[Come on, this is funny! Shrimp deserves to be made fun of every now and again.] - Eva

"I swear, does everyone know?" Noah grumbled. "Pretty much. Well, everyone but Katie. We decided it would probably be better if she didn't know. You know, prevent the inevitable homocide." Cody replied. Alejandro walked by their table. "Hey babe." He whistled and walked off. Noah sighed. "Hey, are you even sure you want to be with him? You don't seem too enthusiastic about the whole thing, and you're the one in it!" Noah looked sideways for a second. "It's just that it's a hassle. I mean, with the competition and everyone backstabbing each other..." "Something your new boyfriend excels at, by the way..." Eva noted.

"I know..." Noah said, looking down at his food. "I'm just saying, for all you know he's about to get you in trouble. You know he's probably just playing you, right?" Eva pushed. "I know. But I think I don't mind. Can I be played for once?" Noah answered before getting up to throw his food away.

"So, what did Bridgette say?" Duncan said as Gwen came over and sat next to him. "Since when do you care about Bridgette?" Gwen asked. "I don't. Just that Geoff's my pal and all." Duncan replied. "He's my pal as well!" Trent piped up. Gwen and Duncan stared at him for a second. "...Right. Well, Geoff's been taken to the hospital, seeing as Chef's main techniques for healing people are hitting them, injecting stuff into people even though he doesn't know what he injecting into them, and occasionally making out with people." Trent cringed. Bad memories. "And the bear?" Duncan inquired. "Yeah, he's still missing." Gwen said. "Heh, it was pretty funny when it pummeled Justin..." Duncan chuckled. "I'm gonna miss that guy." "Who, Geoff?" Gwen asked. "No... well, yeah, kinda, but Bruno as well." Gwen smirked. "You're just a big softie, aren't you." "Could people please stop saying that?"

[I don't like people who call _me_ a softie. Me! I escaped out of juvie in my _audition video_. Me!] - Duncan

"People!" Chris said. "And Heather." Heather threw her trash at him from her spoon. Chris stepped aside, causing Heather to hit Chef instead. "Missed me!" Chris exclaimed. "Anyway, I have come to tell you that the teams are officially disbanded!" Heather ran away from her team's table instantly. Katie and Sadie ran over to each other, hugging each other and squeeing. "We made it to the merge!"

"You sure did. Unfortunately..." Chris said. "Anyway, we do have a challenge here, guys! The beach, in twenty minutes. The west bunks are now the boys' bunks, and the east bunks go to the girls. So move your shit and get to the beach!"

* * *

"So, where are you gonna bunk?" Cody asked Noah as the two walked over to the western bunks. "I don't know. I just hope I can manage to stay away from Duncan, because I do not want to know what he's like in his sleep." Cody laughed. "I hear you there." Alejandro caught up with them. "Hey, Noah." Alejandro put his arm around Noah's waist as they walked. Noah squirmed for a bit. "Uh, hi."

"So, where are you going to bunk? Duncan and Trent are bunking in the southwest bunks, so if Cody went there as well, we could have the north bunks to ourselves..." Alejandro winked at Noah. "Uh, I'm not sure whether that's such a good idea..." Cody said. "No, it's fine! You go bunk with Duncan." Noah said, walking off with Alejandro, leaving Cody standing there. "Well, that was odd."

"Eeee!" Sadie squeed, running into the southeast cabin. Katie responded with a similar squee, hugging Sadie. "Okay, I'm out!" Heather said, dumping her clothes into her suitcase as Gwen and Eva walked in. "What are you doing here?" Heather asked. "We were hoping you'd move over to the north bunks, seeing as Courtney refuses to bunk with me." Gwen answered. "Oh, gladly. Anything to get away from these freaks!" Heather growled. "Come on, Sierra!" She dragged Sierra out with her. "Why does she have to drag..." Gwen started, but Eva interrupted her. "Well, do you want Sierra in here with us?" "...Good point."

"You get out!" "No! You get out!" Noah walked over to Cody, who stood at the door. "They can't decide who goes, huh?" "Nope." Cody said, putting his suitcase down. His arm was getting tired. "They've been doing this for half an hour now." "Well, I'm about to make this really easy." Noah walked in between them. "Hi." Duncan and Trent stopped yelling at each other in order to glare at Noah. "I've got bad news for the both of you: You're not going anywhere." Duncan grabbed Noah's lip. "Yeah, I think you should get a botched piercing before you can tell me what to do!" "Hmm, well, I think you'ww wisten to Ajejandwo..." Noah said. Duncan let go of his lip. "He insists we get the north bunks to ourselves. Sorry, honey." Trent raised his eyebrow. "Really? Do you think that's a good idea? Alone with Alejandro?" "That's my boyfriend, you know. I'll be fine. Point is, no one's moving there except for Al and I." Noah walked out, leaving the three boys. "That was... even odder..." Cody said.

"I really hope he doesn't call Alejandro Al to his face..." Trent remarked.

* * *

"Yay. Poles. More recycling." Gwen said. "Isn't it great?" Chris grinned. "Today's challenge is the Island Pole Fest!" "The say what?" Heather said, while dragging Sierra along.

[I swear, stalker sap has gone from loonie to batshit crazy! I now long for the days when she could function like a human being! And... wait... the teams are disbanded... Why am I still dragging her around?] - Heather

Sierra had pretty much gone from insane to... more insane. After failing once again to get rid of the restraining order, she had been reduced into a near cataconic state, rocking back and forth constantly, muttering "Cody... Cody..." under her breath. Heather dropped her on the sand, and Chris looked at her for a second before continuing his explanation. "The Great Island Pole Fest is an age old tradition, started last night in my office when I came up with it. It starts with the Ocean Dance Ceremony, where the traditional dance will be performed by all of you. At least, you'll try."

"...Did you hit your head or something?" Heather said. "Get on the poles!" Chris yelled. "Alright, my god!"

The campers (excluding Sierra) got on one of the poles in the circle. "After you." Alejandro said, letting Noah past. He then got on the pole next to Noah's, winking at the know-it-all. Courtney helped the still crying Bridgette on her pole, and then slapped her when she wouldn't stop crying. Bridgette looked at her with a shocked expression on her face. "I'm sorry, but I want you to stay, and if you keep crying, you can't participate." Bridgette sniffed, but nodded.

"Uh..." Cody stammered as the makeshift dock made for the campers sank after Trent got onto his pole. "Only eight people will continue onto the next part of the challenge." Chris said, from his pole in the middle of the circle. "So that means four people will get ejected in this part. Literally!" Chris chuckled. "Uh oh." Noah deadpanned. "You people have to copy my killer dance moves during this part of the challenge." "Good thing Leshawna was voted off already!" Heather quipped. "If you fail to do so, Chef will launch you off the pole. He's got a remote control, as you can see. If he presses a button, the pole of the loser in question will shoot up, launching the camper off." Chris turned around. "Sierra! You gonna sit this one out?" "Cody..." "Hmmkay..."

[Cooodyyy...] - Sierra

"So! Start the music!" Chris started dancing, and the campers started to copy his "moves". "What the hell are you doing?" Heather said, copying Chris's moves as Cody was already ejected from the pole. As he landed on the beach, Sierra ran after him, but he managed to run to the cabins and lock the door. "What the hell are we all doing?" Duncan said as the campers continued to copy the moves.

"How is this a traditional dance?" Alejandro asked. "This is the Running Man!" "Well, every tradition's gotta start somewhere, and this one just starts now!" Chris continued to dance and Noah misstepped. Alejandro grabbed him before Chef could launch him. Noah blushed, but continued dancing as Alejandro put him back down. "That is so cheating!" Heather hissed. She was then ejected.

[That was weird. Maybe he was being really nice? I'm sure that was it. He's so nice! I'm sure he just had a bad day the third season. ...The entire third season.] - Katie

[...She still has no idea...] - Sadie

That was when Chris really got... _funky_.

[Well, that was just hilarious.] - Heather

[Are you kidding me? I mean... Seriously?] - Noah

[Well, that was the most embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life...] - Gwen

"Ah, this is great, Chris! The dance is flowing through my veins!" Alejandro said, dancing. Noah rolled his eyes. "Never heard anyone have fun while being forced to dance before..." "But Noah, dance is wonderful! Come on! Feel the energy!" Alejandro said. "Sure, sure."

"Okay, I think this is one of the less bothersome challenges, I really do, but I'm not really good at this kind of dancing..." Courtney said, seconds before being shot off her pole.

"Sad thing is, Chef probably wouldn't have noticed it at all if she hadn't drawn attention to it." Chris said, laughing as he kept dancing.

Minutes passed as Chris kept dancing, harder and harder moves. "Come on, guys! I studied this routine, and I'm starting to run out of moves!" Chris said.

"Ah, forget it!" Eva jumped off herself.

[Listen, I don't dance. I can't believe everyone else kept dancing so long! Damn it! ARGH!] - Eva, seconds before destroying the confessional.

"Right!" Chris stopped dancing. "Now, you people do realize that's gonna be on Youtube forever, right?"

* * *

"Now, as you probably already saw, the rest of the island is surrounded by poles at well. The next part of the challenge is as follows: You people have to start jumping around, from pole to pole. If you land on the same pole as someone else, you can decide to keep jumping... or you could try to push the other camper off. Which is basically what you should be doing, because the last person standing wins!" Chris got off his pole and swam to the shore. The rest followed. "Wait, Katie, you have to stay here. Every camper will stay at a certain pole near a certain landmark on the island. Katie, yours is the circle of poles."

"Can you really call that a landmark?" Noah asked.

"I'll see you later, Katie!" Sadie yelled from the beach. The two waved at each other.

Chef drove over with a golf cart. Gwen got on, and Trent and Duncan pushed ahead to sit next to her. Noah and Alejandro sat next to each other, and Alejandro put his arm around Noah's shoulder. Trent, who didn't manage to get the seat next to Gwen, decided to sit next to Sadie. Bridgette sat by herself in the front, because she would get motion sickness otherwise.

The golf cart arrived at the Dock of Shame, where Bridgette was kicked off. She swam over to the pole and got on, sniffing. "You okay?" Chris asked. "Yeah, I just..." Bridgette started. "Yeah, just kidding! I don't care! See ya!" Chris said as Chef drove off.

Chef stopped at a part of the forest. "Noah! Get off!", he grunted. "I really wonder what would happen if I said no..." Noah said, getting off. "I'll see you soon." Alejandro said, blowing a kiss at Noah.

[Eugh.] - Gwen, in Chef's kitchen, where an intern had planted a new camera.

"You know, a random part of the forest really isn't a landmark either..." Noah said as the golf cart drove away.

Chef stopped again at the dodgeball court. "Duncan, this is your stop!" Duncan jumped out. "Cool, can I take some dodgeballs with me?" "No." Chris said before driving off. "Yeah... I think I'm gonna make that a rhetorical question." Duncan said, walking into the dodgeball court.

The golf cart stopped again at the waterfall. Alejandro got gently sent off to the pole. As the golf cart drove off, he ripped off his shirt and swam over to the pole.

Chef dropped Gwen off at the pole near Boney Island. "Cool. So, if I now grab one of those tiki idol things and throw them at the others, will they get voted off?" Chris chuckled. "Well, if you get them, you throw the challenge, so..." Gwen rolled her eyes as the golf cart drove away.

"Sadie! Out!" Sadie jumped out at the thousand-feet cliff. "I don't have to... jump off that... right?" "...Maybe. Nah, just kidding." Chris chuckled as he drove off. Sadie shook as she swam to the pole.

[You know, Chris is really scary...] - Sadie

"...And Trent, this is your stop!" Trent got thrown out at the southeast island. "Well, okay then... You know, Noah's right, you really can't call this..." Chef drove away, leaving Trent in the middle of a sentence. "...Right. It's annoying when Noah says it as well..."

Chef drove Chris over on top of the thousand-feet cliff. Chris walked over to the very edge and grabbed his megaphone. "START JUMPING!", he yelled into the megaphone.

"God, I hope Chef oiled the poles."

* * *

Sierra grabbed one of her bobby pins and stuck it into the lock. She wriggled it around for a bit.

"Under here... twist, and then push in... turn... That didn't- Cody... That didn't do it." She pulled out the bobby pin and threw it away. "Hmm... how to- Cody... How to get in then..." She thought about it for a second and then ripped the lock off. She walked into Chris's office.

She snuck over to the cabinet where the restraining order was and started looking around in it. "Hmm... A lot of- Cody... A lot of unpaid bills in here... Oops, Chris! LO- Cody... LOL! Ah!" She tried to grab the restraining order, but she was distracted by a figure at the door. "Get away from there, Sierra." "Oh! Cody..." Cody jumped over to the cabinet. "You can't be this close to me, Sierra. Get out." Sierra didn't move. "I won't move! The law- Cody... The law means nothing to me! I LOVE YOU!" Cody looked over to the door. "Eva?"

Eva walked in and grabbed Sierra. "NO! CODY! WE COULD BE HAPPY TOGETHER! Cody... CODY! YOU KNOW IT!" "No idea what you're talking about." Cody closed the cabinet as Eva walked over to the cabins, locking her in. "That's for the arm wrestling challenge!", she yelled. "Just wait..." Sierra said from the other side of the door.

"You know, no one really likes us..." Courtney said, looking for her PDA before remembering Chris took it. Heather looked up from filing her nails. "And your point?", she said. "We merged. You do realize we're the first people out, right?" Heather inspected her nails, making Courtney wait for an answer. "Whatever. Like I want to spend time with these morons anymore." "But... two million dollars!" Courtney argued. "...Yeah, I know." Heather got up, putting her hands on her hips. "So an alliance?" Courtney got up as well. "Yes! We could..."

"No." Heather cut her off, walking over to her suitcase to put her nail file in. "But... Why not?" Courtney asked. "Do you still remember Season 3? I really don't even wanna sleep in the same room as you, let alone help you out in a challenge." Courtney frowned. "Well, that's... stubborn..." She then walked over to the door. "Oh well. You're out before me anyway. And just so you know, you know just as well as I that I can bring you down. Maybe cut your hair again while I'm at it." Heather gasped. "That's it! Get over here! I'll destroy you!" Courtney ran out.

* * *

Chris sighed from his position in the golf cart. "Come on, people!" , he yelled through the megaphone. "It's been twenty minutes already! Start knocking people off!"

Sadie ran around on the poles nervously, before passing Trent and Duncan, who were fighting on the poles. "Oh... That's it!" Sadie yelled, knocking the bot of them off. Alejandro then knocked into her, pushing her off the pole. "Oh... Oops." He jumped onto the next pole as the three swam over to the shore.

[That was so mean of him! My crush is totally over now. Oh well, at least I knocked some people off! Yay me!] - Sadie

[Well, that's it! I've had enough squealing into my ear to be defeated by her in a challenge now! She's out!] - Duncan

"Bridgette! For God's sake, start jumping! You haven't moved since the challenge started!" Chris yelled through his megaphone.

[He really loves that thing, doesn't he?] - Gwen

"I-I'm sorry, Chris, I just... I can't do this! I miss-miss... I..." Right then, Bridgette stopped being intelligible. Gwen jumped up to her pole. "Hey, are you okay?" Gwen asked. Bridgette couldn't give an understandable answer. "Do you want to stop?" Gwen continued. Bridgette shook her head. "Okay then... Hey, if there's anything you need..." Gwen said. Bridgette nodded. Gwen hopped over to the next pole.

Katie squeed as she looked backwards. Alejandro was shirtless and hopping towards her! Katie got lost in her own little dream world, where Alejandro was a prince and she was his princess and he was still shirtless and... "Hey, Katie." Katie awoke from her daydream as Alejandro hopped over to the pole in front of her. He really did hop like a prince. He smiled. "Listen, with the things that have been going on, you understand things between us can't really continue the way it's going right now..."

[Oh my god! He likes me too! He can't stand being apart from me anymore! Oh my god!] - Katie

"So... Adios." He pushed her into the water.

[...Maybe he can stand... But what was he talking about then? Oh my god, I don't understand!] - Katie

Alejandro hopped on ahead.

Gwen jumped over to a pole near the cliff. This was seriously boring. She had more fun desperately trying not to sleep. Twice. Of course, the first time, she did have Trent beside her... Gwen stopped for a moment. Sometimes she wondered whether she had made the right choices. Was breaking up with Trent such a good idea? He didn't seem too... crazy now. Although, he and Duncan did go crazy fighting each other. Was Duncan insane too, then? To be honest, Duncan wasn't ever sweet like Trent was... She needed to stop thinking about these things. God, she really needed to stop thinking!

She jumped over to another pole, but misstepped and fell into the water.

* * *

She wasn't coming back up.

Why wasn't she coming back up?

Trent ran across the beach. Why did no one notice that she wasn't coming back up? Alejandro and Noah were still hopping (they both weren't big fans of Gwen, so that wasn't a big surprise), and Bridgette was crying too much to actually see. Heather, Courtney, Cody, Sierra, Katie, Sadie and Eva were all at the cabins, but Duncan was on the beach and he didn't do a thing! And Chris and Chef were on top of the cliff and they love to laugh at people, so they must've seen!

Trent decided there was only one option left. He jumped after her.

As he swam, he noticed a shark started following him. He tried to swim away, but unfortunately sharks are faster than him. The shark passed Trent, however, and swam down to the bottom of the lake.

Where Gwen was stuck.

She was trying to get her foot off a chain, but she was starting to run out of breath. And the shark was swimming towards her!

Trent swam to the surface. "Help! Somebody!" Duncan still didn't do anything. He stood on the beach, like he was frozen. The other campers came running from the cabins, and Eva jumped into the water, wrestling the shark away from Gwen. Trent swam over to a now unconscious Gwen, loosening the chain and getting Gwen out.

He swam to the surface, where everyone (except for Alejandro, Noah and a crying Bridgette) was waiting. Gwen woke up, dazed and confused. Chef brought her to the infirmary, and Trent sat down on the beach. He looked over at Duncan, who still hadn't moved a muscle. 'Nice. You really care about your girlfriend, don't you?'

"Thank God you people saved her." Chris said. "Think of the lawsuits!"

* * *

Alejandro and Noah started jumping around again, while Bridgette was still sobbing. Alejandro met up with Noah. "Hey babe. I see you've lasted quite a while now, huh?" Noah looked behind him to see a shirtless Alejandro. "Uh... yeah..." Noah lost his train of thought for a second. "Hmm, well, I would just hate to have to fight you last, so..." Before Noah could probably react, Alejandro threw him in the water. "I'm sure you understand." He hopped on ahead, trying to find Bridgette.

"...Sure..." Noah said, spitting out some water.

"Oh, I hope Alejandro wins!" Katie said, clapping and jumping up and down. Sadie looked at her, sadly shaking her head.

"Do you think we could somehow bring Bruno back?" Courtney asked. Gwen looked at her. "Hmm?"

"Well, she's so lost without him, obviously. The poor thing, losing her pet. You have iguanas, right?" Courtney said.

"Uh, she's not crying because of Bruno... You know that, right?" Gwen replied, turning to face Courtney.

"What do you mean? Of course she is." "Uh, no? She's crying because of Geoff. He's the love of her life!" "Of course not. She broke up with him for a reason, you know. He's a lousy do-nothing. Bruno would always protect her. He's a keeper." "She's crying over Geoff!" "Bruno!" "Geoff!" "Bruno!" "Do you people need a lamppost with numerous flyers?" Noah asked, getting out of the water.

Alejandro made it to a sobbing Bridgette. "Oh yeah, you were the cryer... So sorry about your... boyfriend, or bear, or whatever..." Bridgette said something unintelligible. "Yeah... sure. Anyway, I'm sure you realise we're the only two left. Really, this was just too easy. I'm just gonna savor the moment, because what are you still gonna do?" Bridgette sniffed and looked at him with wide eyes. "Yeah. For some reason, it's really fun to mess with you. I loved messing with your head, and I'll enjoy making you lose now. I'm sure everyone will vote you off. Pity votes, really. I'm also sure you regret coming back onto the show, huh? All you did was lose your boyfriend, your little teddy bear, and your dignity. It's wonderful."

Bridgette stopped sniffing altogether. "Are you so sure?" Alejandro stopped gloating. "Because I'm not. I lost Geoff. My bear attacked him and sent him to the hospital. But I do still love him, and I did not lose him. We made up. Didn't see that coming, did you? I lost Bruno. He got sent off somewhere, and nobody knows where exactly. But I will find him. I don't care how, I don't care how long it takes me or who I have to get out of the way to do so. I will find him. And I think the first thing I'd do upon reuniting with him is sending him to kick your sorry ass to the hospital as well."

"Ooh, bitter words from such a peaceful girl. Careful, you might just become the new Heather." Bridgette shook her head. "Not exactly. I will never go as low as you. Because if there's one thing I hate, it's pathetic people like you. You have to claw your way up, not to the top, but just out of the snake pit where they keep all the vile people. And did you think I'd just give you the win?" Bridgette said, with eyes of steel. "Think again." She kicked Alejandro off the pole.

* * *

"Noah?" Noah turned around from where he was sitting on his bunk. "Yes?" Eva and Cody walked in. "We have to talk." "Ooh, we're getting serious here." Cody sat down on the bunk opposite Noah's, and Eva leaned on Noah's bunk. "It's about Alejandro." Cody said. Eva went over to the door and locked it. "When did that get a lock?" Noah wondered out loud. "Long ago. Anyway..." Cody said. "We think he's bad news. Actually, we know he's bad news. Come on, Noah. You knew he was bad news in Season 3!" "Yeah, I know. Like I said, I know he's bad for me. He pushed me off the pole during the challenge, and I know he didn't care. I know he'll eventually vote me off. I'm not an idiot. I just really don't care. If he wants to give me a fake reality for a few episodes that will probably be my only shot at emotion for the rest of my life, then so be it. I'm really not complaining. He's acting really fake nice. It's great." Cody shook his head.

"Well, you do know you can't be in the alliance anymore, right?" Eva said. "Oh, you don't feel like teaming up with the villain?" Noah said. "Nothing against you, of course." Eva and Cody walked out as Alejandro walked in. "What did they want?", he asked. "Nothing." Noah said. "Listen, about you throwing me off the pole..." Alejandro looked away. "Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't..." Noah looked at Alejandro for a second. "No, it's fine. You just wanted to win, right? Makes sense." Alejandro looked up, and Noah gasped softly.

[There was genuine emotion in his eyes. What the hell... Does he actually like me? No way!] - Noah

[Oh no. This cannot happen to me again! I made a big enough mistake with Heather! Come to think of it, Noah is a bit like... NO!] - Alejandro

"So, umm..." Gwen entered the boys' cabin, where Duncan was cutting into the bunk with his knife. "I talked to Trent just now..." Duncan got up swiftly. "Why? Why would you..." Gwen raised her hand to shut him up. "He saved my life, remember?" Duncan looked down. "Yeah, I guess..." "He told me you did nothing." Duncan kept looking at the floor. "I mean, I was drowning, I was stuck down there! You know, I've been thinking, and you really never did much for me. Do you even care? Or am I just another girl to have on your arm? I could have-" "I was paralyzed." Duncan interjected. "I froze! I just... I saw you fall, and you didn't come back, and then it hit me, and- and then I thought I could actually just lose you, and I just couldn't-" Gwen raised her hand again and stepped forward, tilting Duncan's head up and kissing him. "Good. I actually thought I should've gotten back together with Trent at first. Now I know there's no need to."

"Cody... Cody... Cody..." Sierra rocked back and forth in the corner of the cabin while Heather filed her nails. She broke one when she slapped Courtney, and now she had to adjust all of them to match the press-on nail. Ugh much?

"Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody Cody..." Heather rolled her eyes, got up and slapped Sierra. "For God's sake, get a grip!" Sierra stopped and blinked. "We get it, you're creepy and obsessed! But most people actually have a place in society, and if you don't, you get shipped off to a loony bin, where you will never see your beloved geekface again!" Sierra blinked again. "Now, get up and get over it. And stay over it this time. He doesn't like you, shit happens!" Sierra sniffed, but got up. "There we go."

"Oh, I feel so bad about Alejandro losing! Bridgette can be so mean. Like when she puked all over me, that was so rude! She could have puked over Izzy or something! But Alejandro was really nice to me today. I think he might ask me out!" Katie said, jumping around the cabin. Sadie, who was sitting on her bunk, decided to get up and stop Katie. "Honey, I need to tell you something." Katie looked at her with a confused look on her face. "What?" "Did you notice Alejandro being... nice towards someone else? Besides you?" "Well, Alejandro is just really nice! Like how he saved Noah during the dance challenge..." "Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about..." Katie tilted her head. "About Alejandro saving Noah during the dance challenge?" "Yeah... Uh... Alejandro and Noah are dating."

"What?" Katie said, before bursting into tears. "But... I'M A PRINCESS!" Sadie tried to comfort her, but Katie pushed her away. "I HATE YOU! AND I HATE ALEJANDRO, AND I HATE NOAH! OH, NOAH'S GOING DOWN!" She ran out crying hysterically. Sadie sat down. "Oops."

* * *

"Well, the merge arrived, and that means you can vote for anyone! Everyone you hate, but couldn't vote for yet, because they weren't on your team! Except Bridgette, of course." Bridgette smiled and stuck her thumb up while Chris threw a marshmallow at her.

"Let's see... First of all, Gwen." Gwen walked over and got her marshmallow. "Hmm, I haven't gotten one of these since the intern challenge..."

"Also, Trent." Trent walked over, more towards Gwen than towards Chris.

"Uh, Cody's also safe." Cody walked over, avoiding Sierra as she leaned forward.

"Katie, you're safe." Katie sniffed and walked over, slumping.

"Courtney! You're safe." Courtney sighed in relief and ran over.

"Also, Duncan, Eva, Sierra and Noah!" The four walked over getting their marshmallows.

Courtney smiled and put her hands on her hips as Heather looked on in shock. Noah folded his arms over each other nervously, as Alejandro was left as well.

"Alejandro, Sadie, and Heather. You three got the most votes." Chris stared at them for a second, enjoying their squirming.

"Alejandro. You were a jackass to Bridgette, causing her awesome return to reality. I think you get why people voted for you..." Alejandro looked aside.

"Sadie, you knocked a bunch of people off during the pole challenge, and you're loud." Heather glared at Sadie.

"Heather, you're evil and nobody likes you." Heather turned her death stare towards Chris.

"Well..." Chris waited a second.

"First of all, Heather, come get your marshmallow." Heather got up and ran over to get her marshmallow, waving it in Alejandro's face.

"So, Alejandro and Sadie. One of you is leaving today. ...Alejandro, you really were a jerk." "Coming from you?" Alejandro retorted.

"...Yeah, whatever, good point. Anyway, you're safe as well, even though I don't understand why you didn't get twelve votes..."

* * *

[My vote goes to Sadie. I know Heather is a good target as well, but Katie and Sadie have become expendable, and a lot of the guys are voting off Sadie...] - Alejandro

[I vote for Alejandro. No, actually, I vote for Al. He doesn't like that, does he?] - Bridgette

[I'm going for Sierra! I can vote for her! Oh god, I so vote for Sierra!] - Cody

[I vote for Heather. I do not let people slap me without revenge. She'll pay!] - Courtney

[I'm going for Sadie. I have had enough of her and the other dumb pink blur as well!] - Duncan

[I'm going for Alejandro. He needs to keep his hands off of Noah.] - Eva

[Heather. That was really easy.] - Gwen

[I am so voting for Alejandro. There is no way he won't be voted off after the whole Bridgette thing. I totally have the moral high ground! Yes!] - Heather

[I VOTE FOR NOAAAAHHHH!] - Katie

[I vote for Sadie. I guess people vote for Alejandro a lot, but I heard a lot of people are voting for Sadie as well. So she's screwed. I hope...] - Noah

[I think I'll go for Heather. She can be so mean! She slapped a lot of people today.] - Sadie

[I vote for... Eva. She's been around Cody a lot. He's miiiine!] - Sierra

[I'm going for Sadie. I'm sorry, but she pushed me off when I was fighting Duncan!] - Trent

* * *

Alejandro got up, taking his marshmallow. Noah launched himself at him, hugging him.

As Cody and Eva shook their heads at the sad fact that Noah was really lost now, Sadie walked over to the dock, but Katie ran up to her.

"NOOOO! SADIE! I-I-I-WHYYYYYY!" Katie was a mess. Sadie grabbed her.

"Katie! Remember what I said at the beginning? When we were seperated for the first time?"

"I know, but it's just so unfair! I mean, we were just reunited again!" Katie whined. Sadie smiled. "I know. But you have to be strong. I know you can win this, and you can beat everyone if you just focus. Can you do that for me?" Katie nodded. "I'll see you after you win the two million." Sadie got on the Boat of Losers. As it departed, Katie started crying again, waving. Sadie waved back as the boat went behind a rock.

"Well, that was that! Sadie got voted off, a moment I've been waiting for a long time! I can now start recovering from the hearing damage I recieved from her squealing! Anyway, as the merge has arrived and everybody is either hooking up or going after each other, many questions remain! Will Trent get Gwen back? Will Alejandro get Noah voted off after all? How long will Katie survive without her BFFFL? ...I mean, come on. Her _BFFFL_. I should seriously be paid more. Ooh! Will I be paid more? Find out next time on Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!"

* * *

"Well, I guess I kinda knew I wasn't gonna win. I mean, I kinda sucked at most challenges. But I gave it my all and that's the most important thing of all!

And Katie... She's gonna do great! I just know it! Oh... KATIE! I MISS YOU!"

* * *

And they're finally seperated. That took me way too long.

Oh, and the merge! I dragged that out way too long as well.

And I thought about bringing people back, because that happens basically every season, but I decided against it, because the only person I could find a plotline for was Blaineley, and that plotline would get into subjects I know way too little about to write about without it feeling blunt and wrong.

I really do apologize for making Noah so pathetic. I'll try to remedy it next chapter, I promise.

So, comment please! It's what keeps the story alive. It's on life support now. You guys, do you wanna kill it?


	12. And Then There Were Guns

It's Monday and I'm sick. Writing time! (Actually, this was from over a month ago. Oops!)

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with the challenge, which means writing time is probably also sucky time.

I'm very happy people suggest ways I could advance the story, but I know I probably only follow it if I felt like going that way anyway.

Oh well. I'm sure it'll work out anyway.

Disclaimer: I am Tom McGillis, creator of Total- No, just kidding, I'm a 15 year old Dutch kid.

Happy reading!

* * *

"Last time on Total Drama Tournament: The campers had to knock each other off poles again! Maybe I should make them knock each other out with the poles next time. Bridgette defeated Alejandro in the most awesome way she possibly could have after being a whiny crybaby for the entire episode. Sadie ended up being voted off, which seperated her from Katie. I'm guessing Katie will be voted off two minutes in."

"So, Noah. You get your part in the challenge?" Noah thought about it for a second. "Uh, I guess..."

"Good. Now get out, I have other things to do than trade snarks with you. Make sure nobody sees you." Noah snuck out.

Meanwhile, Cody sat in the lodge, a bottle of water and sleeping pills in hand. Eva walked in, sitting down with a dumbbell. "You can't sleep either?" Cody asked, raising his head from his hand. "Nope. Katie's hysterical crying hept me up." Cody chuckled as Eva groaned. "Sleeping pills?" Cody said, offering the pills. "No, thanks. I'll just threaten her later." Eva answered. Cody peeked at Eva's dumbbell. That had to be at least the weight of his house.

"Hey, about the alliance..." Eva said. Really, it was just the two of them now. "You're thinking we should let Noah back in?" Eva nodded. "He's a founding member, really. I mean, he was pretty much the leader. Or so it felt for me. I mean, I don't think I'm appreciated much around here, and I don't think you're strong enough a player either." "Hey!" Cody yelped. "You know I'm right. You might have some brains, but let's face it, Noah is probably the only one who can make sure we don't do anything stupid. And plus, he's my friend and I hate to see him turning into a brainless sap under Alejandro's charms." Cody thought for a second. "We can't. He wouldn't accept it. I think we're not the only alliance anymore. I mean, Alejandro and Noah are both strategical hulks. You're just a literal hulk, and I'm neither. He doesn't want us riding on his coattails." Eva sighed. "I figured."

Morning came, and the campers got out of bed and made their way to the lodge.

"So, is this supposed to be toast? It's just ash, you know." Heather complained. Chef threw the toast at her face. "Oh, when I rule over Europe, I am so not letting you in!" Courtney walked by. "I'm sure he's trembling now." She walked off despite Heather's empty threats, and sat down next to Bridgette, Cody and Eva. "Oh, Courtney, I am on such a high today! I don't know what it is... Actually, I do! It was kicking Alejandro's smart ass!" Bridgette clapped in her hands, and Courtney laughed. "I almost wish it was me who did it."

"Hey, so what's going on with Noah and Alejandro now?" Courtney asked. "I mean, how come they've become inseparable all of a sudden?" Cody shrugged. "Noah said something along the lines of 'I want to have a boyfriend before I go live my miserable life as a complete hermit at 18'." Bridgette frowned. "But why Alejandro?" "Well, Alejandro was trying to charm him into turning into a complete lovestruck idiot anyway, so I'm guessing he just went with it." The four glanced over to the table where Alejandro and Noah were sitting.

"Hey, Alejandro?" Alejandro glanced over at Noah, who was trying to get the food with nutritional value out of the glue. "Could you please try, uh, not to make me lose this challenge?" Alejandro gulped. He knew that was gonna come up sooner or later. "Well, you understand my motives, right?" "Yeah, you had to be a prick to Bridgette." "You know that was strategy." Noah chewed his food with a perpetually raised eyebrow at Alejandro. "She was a wreck anyway. Look how much better she feels now that someone told her the truth." Noah chuckled. "I love how you keep trying to justify yourself." He kissed Alejandro and walked off with his plate, leaving Alejandro behind.

[...Crap. Well, this backfired.] - Alejandro

"Come on, Katie. It'll be fine." Trent sat next to Katie, trying to comfort her. "N-no it's not! What- what the hell am I gonna do... WITHOUT SADIE!" Heather hissed at her as she covered her ears. "Well, you've been apart from Sadie before, right?" "NO! Never!" Katie cried. "I think you're forgetting something." Trent said. Katie looked at him with wide eyes. "Remember Season 1? When you were voted off? You had to spend five episodes of time without Sadie as well, didn't you?" "Well, but I could see her on the TV, and I was at a pretty resort and everything, so it wasn't as bad as here with the stupid show!" Well, that was a good point. "But Sadie was doing alright over here, right? And remember what you said to her when you got voted off?" Katie shook her head. "You told her she could do it. And that she had to for the both of you. Isn't that sort of what she told you as well?" Katie nodded. "Well, you should keep going. For her." Katie nodded again, although she didn't really seem convinced.

"What the hell is he doing?" Duncan complained. Gwen sighed. "Getting over me? I dunno." "With Katie. Miss Braindead. This guy is a moron." Duncan shot a piece of glue into his hair. As he laughed his ass off over it, Gwen slapped his arm. "Seriously! He's my ex and you don't like him. We get it!" Duncan rolled his eyes and continued ravaging his food.

"So." Heather sat down next to Sierra. "Now that you've returned to the real world, we need to plan Cody's elimination." Sierra looked at her incredulously. "What?" "Well, what better way is there to get over a guy than to ruin his shot at two million bucks?" Heather said, smiling deviously. Sierra looked over at Cody's table nervously. "But we don't have to do that, right?" "Oh, but we do. Sierra, you have to be your own woman! Come on! Let's take revenge!" Sierra thought about it for a second. "Well, how do we do that?" "Oh, don't worry. I've got it all set out. All you have to do is get hit." "Sure! ...Wait, what?" "You're really annoying. Annoy him until he walks over and punches you in the face. After all, nothing says "about to get kicked off" quite like crazy violence!"

"People!" Chris walked into the lodge. "Are you guys ready for a challenge?" Courtney jumped up and cheered while Gwen slumped down on the table.

"What now? Climbing over a volcano, see who can withstand lethal shocks the longest? Oh, no, wait, we already did that." Heather bitched. "Well, let's see... Taking into consideration your twisted mind, killing each other is really the only thing left..." "Bingo!" "What?"

"The murder mystery! Oh, come on. It's a classic! See, I gave one of you a fun-sized paintball gun. That person has to shoot everyone before they find out." Courtney's hand shot up. "...Yes, Courtney?"

"What if I find out?" "You could just have let me finish. If you find out who it is, you have to run over to Chef in his kitchen. If you're right, Chef will sound this air horn, and you win invincibility. You get one free guess. If you guess wrong a second time, you get shot by Chef. And his paintball gun's bigger." Chris continued. "...Disperse."

* * *

"Well, I'm certainly not the killer." Courtney exclaimed as the campers walked out of the lodge. "Wait, but only a killer would say something like that!" Heather ran back inside and ran into Chef's kitchen.

[Easiest challenge ever.] - Heather

"What?" Chef turned towards her. "Wait, you actually think you already know who the killer is?" Heather nodded excitably. "Hmm. Bring it." "Courtney!" "Wrong. Get the hell outta here."

[Okay, maybe not that easy...] - Heather

Noah watched Heather leave the lodge. He then snuck around the island, until he had found Courtney. "Oh, Jesus, you scared me.", he said. "Why? I'm not the killer. I mean, I just saw Heather walking around, muttering something under her breath, I'm fairly sure she guessed me, and there weren't any air horns going off. I think I'm ruled out." Courtney stuck her nose up in the air in pride. "Yeah, that's kinda why I was looking for you." Noah said, looking for his gun. "Oh, for safety measures? I get it." Courtney said. "Sort of." Noah said, a sinister tone in his voice. "Huh?" Courtney exclaimed, moments before being shot.

[Oh, damn it! I should've known it! Never trust the sarcastic ones!] - Courtney

Eva walked through the forest, looking around her, ready to stop, drop and kick some ass. She was trying to figure out the killer's identity, but realised that with basically no information, she would never figure it out.

"COURTNEY HAS BEEN SHOT!" Chris yelled through his megaphone. Eva snorted. Of course she had. Like she had the brains to figure out who the killer was. Eva turned her attention back to the killer. All she really knew was that it had to be someone who got word of his role in the game late at night from Chris, as usual... 'Oh, crap.'

She ran back over to Chef's kitchen. 'Goddamn it, Cody! He probably has the gun in his "trouser space"...' As Eva opened the door to the lodge, she heard Cody's voice in the kitchen. "...and so that's why I think Eva's the killer." "Wrong. Get out." Cody walked out to find Eva with steam coming out of her ears. "You dare accuse ME?" Cody thought about it for a second and then ran back in. "So, uh, I've come to guess again. Uhh..." Chef glared at him. "Would you hurry up? I got things to do here!" "Like what?" Cody retorted. "I mean, it's not like you spend any time at all perfecting your cooking skills..." "WOULD YOU HURRY UP?" Chef yelled. "Sierra! Is it Sierra?"

Chef rolled his eyes and took out his paintball gun, aiming at Cody. The teenager managed to take one step before getting splashed. He walked out to find an equally goo-covered Eva. "In case you wanted to know, Noah's the killer.", she said, shaking some of the goo off of her hand. Cody smirked. "And he managed to squirt you? He's good."

"CODY AND EVA HAVE BEEN SHOT!"

"Hey, Cody!" Sierra popped up as Cody opened the door. "Wow, you're all goo-y! That reminds me of that time when there was a Cody clone who exploded and was all goo-y as well." "Sierra... You're breaching the restraining order." "No, I'm not." "Yes, you are." "Screw the law." "Eva?" Eva tried to catch Sierra, but the  
purple-haired girl avoided her with agile jumping. "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Cody groaned and pushed her out of the way. "Sierra! I don't have time for this!" Sierra landed on the ground, wincing. Cody's eyes widened as he looked down. "Uh... I probably shouldn't have done... What?" Sierra grinned at him. "You touched me."

[Okay, the pushing was good, but I have to annoy him more if I want him to really snap. Uhhh...] - Sierra

Sierra got up and started dancing around Cody while still avoiding Eva. "You touched me! You touched me!" She then poked Cody. "And I touched you! OM- Hey!" She turned around, facing Noah, who had just shot her arm. "You should probably leave now. I've got more ammunition, and I can aim at your eyes." Sierra left in a huff. "Figured you guys could use some help." Eva looked away, brooding. Cody grinned. "Thanks." Noah smirked. "You guys should probably go take a shower. Goo and all." Eva stormed off. "Why couldn't you just fill the damn gun with paint, instead of snot goo?" Cody cringed as she slammed the bathroom door shut. "I'm guessing she's still pissed about you shooting her." Noah shrugged. "It'll pass."

"SIERRA HAS BEEN SHOT!"

"Ah! So Noah's the killer! I can win invincibility again!" Bridgette whispered to herself. She started trying to sneak past Noah to get into the lodge, when she suddenly felt a weird cold substance on her arms. "Heard ya there." Noah said, looking straight at her. "Hey, are you even allowed to be over here? You can't just guard the door like that..." "Oh, crap, you're right. You never saw me, got it?" Noah snuck off into the woods. Bridgette snickered. "Sure."

"BRIDGETTE HAS BEEN SHOT!"

"We're really doing well, aren't we?" Gwen sighed, sitting against a tree. "One after another being shot, and I don't think anyone even has a clue who the killer is." Duncan grinned, his arm around her shoulder. "Well, let's see... Wanna go over to the lodge and guess on Trent?" Gwen rolled her eyes. "...Katie?" Gwen sat in silence for a few seconds. "Well, it's either that or stay here... Let's go." The two got up, running towards where they thought the lodge was. "You guys do know that's the wrong way, right?" Gwen and Duncan turned around. "Oh, great, it's the snark knight." Duncan walked over to him. "You know, the piercing-in-your-lip offer still stands." Noah rolled his eyes. "Very impressive. Just... follow me. I'll get you to where the campgrounds actually are." Gwen followed Noah, but Duncan pulled her back.

"How do you know you can trust him?" Gwen shrugged. "I don't know..." She turned around. "Hey Noah, why are you so eager to bring us to the lodge? Can't you just vote yourself?" Noah turned around, irritation all over his face. "I already voted once." "On who?" Duncan asked. "Uhhh..." "Aha!" "Clever enough." Noah pulled the gun out and aimed at Duncan. As he pulled the trigger, however, Duncan pulled Gwen in front of him and ran. "Oh, goddamn." Noah ran after Duncan, leaving Gwen standing there. "What a backstabber." She rolled her eyes and walked off.

"GWEN HAS BEEN SHOT!"

Duncan ran through the woods as fast as he could, which wasn't extremely fast, considering the length of his legs. He heard Noah running after him and grabbed a tree branch above him, swinging over it as Noah ran past. He then kicked the killer from behind and ran on towards the lodge. "Nice mud mask, geek!" "Really?" Noah responded, running after the delinquent. "I heard the goo ones were better. Wanna try?" He pulled the trigger as Duncan reached the lodge, shooting him in the calf. "Ah! Charley horse!" Duncan shrieked before planting his face into the ground. "Well, that certainly was fun, mohawk, but I've got things to do." Noah walked off, leaving Duncan behind to spit the grass out of his mouth.

"DUNCAN HAS BEEN SHOT!"

Noah walked on the beach, bored out of his mind. He knew that the... let's see... four remaining campers were probably all running towards the lodge now, randomly guessing and hoping they get it right. He really didn't know why he accepted this whole killer thing. Maybe because Chris didn't actually give him a choice...

Maybe he should tell Alejandro. But then again, he'd probably just backstab him again, so that wasn't gonna work. Noah sat down on a rock, resting his head on his hand. Maybe he'd be voted off now. He wasn't really a good contender anyway. Witty, sure. Funny, no problem. Bitchy, hell yeah. But he wasn't gonna win the two million and he knew it from the second he got off that boat. He probably wouldn't even have been on the island if Chris hadn't forced him to. Stupid fine print. Noah thought about just packing and leaving with the first person voted off, like Izzy did. Then he remembered Izzy. And Eva. And Cody. And then he felt bad. Noah sighed as he fully realised he had basically ditched his friends for the person he trusted the least on the island. He then grabbed his gun and pointed it towards Trent, who had appeared behind him. "You really thought you were being all ninja over there, didn't- hey!"

Trent picked up the gun he had just kicked out of Noah's hands. "You know, you really aren't that useful as a killer without your gun." Noah dove at Trent, who simply pushed him off and started running towards the lodge. As he ran, he kicked sand into Noah's eyes with his heels. "Agh! Sand? God, I didn't know you'd go as low as Duncan to get what you want!" Trent stopped and turned towards Noah, who was getting the sand off his tongue. "What does that mean?" "Just that Duncan found it necessary to throw me into the mud, and you decide to kick sand at me, so I'd say you're both pretty underhanded right now." Noah said, rubbing the sand out of his eyes. As Trent stood still for a second, as if the thought of him sinking to Duncan's level physically paralyzed him, Noah jumped over and grabbed the gun. "Oh, and did you really think Chris didn't give me any back-up?" He then grabbed another gun and shot Trent with both guns. "It's been great, but I still have people to shoot."

"TRENT HAS BEEN SHOT!"

"Hey Bridge." Courtney said, walking over to the blonde surfer. Bridgette looked behind her and smiled, waiting for Courtney to catch up. "So, any news of Bruno?" "Nothing. I looked through Chris's stuff, seeing as he's yelling on a cliff somewhere and Chef's in the kitchen, and nothing. Not a single trace of where they sent him." Courtney frowned. "I think I might have found a trace right here." Bridgette looked over to where Courtney was pointing towards. Pawprints. The two looked at each other for a second before running off, trying to find more of them.

[Maybe... Maybe I'll find Bruno!] - Bridgette

Heather totally got it. While the other campers were being shot due to their obvious incompetence, Heather noticed one name that was repeatedly not called out. Of course it was that smug, bitchy bastard. Who would've thought Chris would actually give him the role of a killer? And Heather was sure giving the obviously gay guy the part of a killer would send out some negative messages that Chris would try to avoid in fear of lawsuits. Not to mention the fact that he was... colored.

Heather ran into the lodge. Invincibility. Bet no one was waiting for her to get it. Well, they could all go screw themselves, because she was gonna get it, and then she could get Alejandro voted off for everything he did during the third season. But first, actually guessing the killer. Heather ran into the kitchen, where Chef was waiting with an extraordinarily tired look on his face. "Do you think you know who the killer is?", he droned. "Yes, I do. Actually, I know it. That little bastard isn't getting away now! I just know that dork is the killer!" Heather said excitably, trembling as she thought about her invincibility and the two million dollars. "Well, who is it then? Gimme a goddamn name, woman!" Chef roared. "Right." Heather said, somewhat calming herself down. "Is it... Alejandro?"

"HEATHER HAS BEEN SHOT!"

[Damn it.] - Heather

Noah walked over the campgrounds, wondering whether he was allowed to be there in the first place. It wasn't like he was right in front of the lodge, right? He could see the lodge, though... Noah groaned. Why couldn't Chris have explained the rules better? 'Oh, right. Because he makes them up on the spot.' He then saw Heather, covered in goo, walking out of the lodge. Smirking, he walked over. "Good job. Guessing you guessed Alejandro?" Heather glared at him. "Well, skinny brain, it seemed likely." "I'm sorry, I just find it hilarious that you, formerly bald brat, just called me a skinny brain." "You're dating Alejandro, you have every right to be insulted." Heather bit back.

Noah rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You know, I really didn't mind you at first. You spoke the truth, and I appreciated that. I don't really know where you went from that to this bitter and hopeless wreck, but it's sad.", he said, shaking his head. "And I thought you had a brain at first, until you started dating Alejandro. Just thinking about you actually liking that guy is making me hate you. I will get invincibility one day, and then both Alejandro and you will be screwed- Hey!" Heather gasped as Noah shot her. "I was already shot!" "Yeah, but it was fun." He was silent for a second before adding, "You really don't have to worry about Alejandro and I." He walked away, leaving a fuming and confused Heather.

"Ah! So Noah is the killer!" Katie said to herself, standing behind a tree. "That is sooo great. I'll get him, and then I'll get him voted off! Serves him right! And then I'll get everybody. I'm the best. I'm the strongest. And I am going to obil... oblit... uh... crush everyone in my way!" She turned around to see Noah standing behind her. "Heard that." Noah pulled the trigger as Katie screamed. But nothing happened. "Damn it, out of ammo!" Katie cackled and slapped Noah before running off. Noah reloaded his gun before shooting Katie. He walked over to her, chuckling. "Did you really think you'd outrun me?" He walked off, disregarding Katie as he had everybody. Who was still left? Oh, right. Alejandro.

"KATIE HAS BEEN SHOT! ...Jesus, he's actually pretty good!"

Alejandro realised. That boyfriend of his! Well, he could always manipulate Noah into letting him win. ...Although he wasn't even sure if he could do that anymore. He sat down on a rock. He really didn't even wanna think about it, but somehow, he had fallen in love with the guy he was trying to manipulate. And he detested love! Love was something that the strong could use to control the weak. But it wasn't meant for him! And now, after having thrown Noah into the water and then seeing the face his boyfriend had on him the rest of the day, he wasn't sure he, master of manipulation, could hurt this stupid geek again! It was ridiculous. He just needed to go to the lodge and get invincibility. Obviously the time to kick Noah off the island was now.

He started running towards the lodge. Good thing he studied the map of the island extensively before coming here, otherwise the woods might have been confusing for him. He reached the campgrounds, running towards the door of the lodge. But as he opened it, he felt himself being yanked back. He turned around. "Noah." "Alejandro." Alejandro gulped as he saw Noah with the gun in his hands. "You're... you're not gonna shoot me, are you?" Noah shrugged. "Maybe. You threw me off that pole in the last challenge as well." "Oh, come on! You can't just do this to me! Don't you care?" Alejandro kept talking as he realised how badly he had turned into the victim. "You know I'm gonna get voted off if you do this to me!" "I know. You know what, I really don't think I care." Alejandro's eyes widened. "But what are you gonna do without me?" "I'm sure I'll do fine. In case you hadn't noticed, you're the load here. If I don't give you invicnibility now, you'll surely be voted off. If I do, I'll have to keep saving your ass as you manipulate me into doing your dirty work. Easy choice."

"Please, Noah. Please! I don't know what you did to me, but you can't do this to me! Noah, you have to listen to me. I love you. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but you did it. You made me love you. And I hate you for it! I'm not supposed to love! I shouldn't even have a heart! And you did this to me! I love you, damn it! I'll stop manipulating you. I promise! If you'll just give me another chance. Please?" "I'm not an idiot. You'll say anything to stay in the game. Sorry, Al." Alejandro's eye twitched. "...Noah, please. I beg of you. I'll do anything for you! I promise!" Noah raised an eyebrow. "Anything?", he said as he came closer. He stood right in front of Alejandro. "Because I think I'd like..." He touched Alejandro's chest and stood on his toes. Alejandro got closer as well, ready to kiss Noah. "...This." Noah shot Alejandro in the stomach. As Alejandro fell on the ground, he took a few steps back. Alejandro looked up while on his hands and knees, grasping his stomach with one hand. "...Noah?", he said with wide eyes, tears actually welling up in them. No heart, my ass.

Noah smirked and walked away. "ALEJANDRO HAS BEEN SHOT! NOAH IS THE WINNER! HE WINS INVINCIBILITY, UNLIKE ALL OF YOUR SORRY ASSES!"

* * *

"Guys! Guys!" Gwen ran over, trying to get Trent and Duncan to stop fighting. Again. "Stop playing that damn guitar! Nobody likes it! Nobody likes you!" Duncan roared. "I like him!" Katie squealed. "Like anyone wants to hear your opinion, Tweedle Dumb." "Like anyone wants so see you walking around with your knife!" Trent retorted. "Ooh, scared, are you?" Duncan whipped out his knife. "That thing will get you voted off one day and you know it!" Duncan laughed. "Sure, like that thing won't!" "It's worth more than that knife!" Duncan smirked. "But you forget. I have Gwen. All you have is your dumb guitar!" "Oh, what, am I a freaking object now?" Gwen yelled in between them. "Really?" Trent continued, ignoring Gwen. "Why does it seem that lately Gwen likes me more than you, huh?" Duncan went red and grabbed Trent's guitar. "That's it! I've had it with you!" He grabbed his knife and destroyed Trent's guitar. "Need any more proof my knife is better than your guitar?" Trent gasped and grabbed the remains of his guitar, running off. Duncan grinned before turning to face Gwen, who had her arms folded over each other. "What?" "That went too far, Duncan." Gwen ran off after Trent, leaving Duncan behind to sulk.

"So? Did he smack you on national TV?" Sierra kept silent. "Well?" Heather was still for a second, before shaking Sierra when she still wouldn't talk. "Come on! Speak up!" "No! He didn't, okay?" Heather looked at her with a manic expression on her face for a second before smacking her herself. "What do you mean, he didn't?" "Eva was around him the entire time and it was too hard to annoy him and avoid Eva the entire time. And then Noah shot me." "And you stopped bothering him? Why?" "Well, there is the restraining order... If Chris actually decides to do something, I'll be voted out in a heartbeat." Sierra said in a whiny tone. "Fine. Then we'll do something about the restraining order. Tonight." Heather walked out and beckoned for Sierra to follow her.

Heather walked past the lodge, where the two could hear Chris talking to Chef. "And then I told her that I was never gonna date her, because she was an ugly bitch, right, and then..." The girls snuck over to Chris's office, where Heather used a bobby pin to pick the lock. The two walked in, with Sierra carefully closing the door behind her. Heather locked it again to make sure no one would walk in without the key. Sierra handed her a flashlight and turned her own on. Heather looked around a bit, but Sierra went straight for the drawer she knew her restraining order to be. She opened it and looked for the restraining order, finding it after a few seconds. That's when they heard the door unlock. Chris and Chef entered, turning on the light. Heather and Sierra turned to face the host and the cook, blinking sheepishly. Sierra hid the restraining order behind her back, like Chris wouldn't know she had it. "What are you..." Chris didn't manage to finish his sentence seeing as Heather decided to ninja-kick Chef. "HYEAAAAAAH!", she screamed, planting her foot into Chef's face. It didn't do very much. It did give Sierra the time and inspiration to grab the restraining order in both hands. "Wait!" Chris yelled out, but it was too late. "RAAAAAH!" Sierra yelled as she ripped the restraining order.

[...OMG.] - Sierra

[Ow, my foot! My foot!] - Heather

The four stood in silence after Sierra had ripped the piece of paper. Then, Chris started laughing. Sierra and Heather looked on in confusion as Chris laughed hysterically, nearly rolling on the floor. Chef chuckled too. "...What?" Heather asked. "Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!" Chris said in between breaths. "What? Why?" Heather asked as Sierra kept staring. "This is perfect for the ratings! Like I ever wanted that damn restraining order in the first place!" "...Then why didn't you just destroy it after Izzy left the island with the pictures?" Heather asked. "Silence! Oh, this is just perfect. Listen, guys, I'll just say it was an accident, and you can go back to your stalky ways! Please make him go insane! That'd be awesome!" Sierra kept staring blankly ahead. Heather started laughing too, dragging Sierra towards the door. "So, we're free to go, right? No harm done?" Chris stopped laughing. "Well, actually, if you ever do anything I don't like again, I'll show everyone the video of you breaking in and destroying the restraining order." He then slammed the door into the girls' faces and continued laughing.

"Hey guys." Eva and Cody looked up as Noah walked into the cabin. "...Hey." The room was silent for a while. And then it really wasn't. "We're sorry for doubting you, we really are, and you totally kicked ass and we know you'll probably never let us back into your alliance, and-" "I'm sorry for not telling you anything, but I just had to be careful because you guys know how awful Alejandro is, and I can't believe I actually kissed him, ugh! I mean-" "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL US, SHRIMP? I COULD'VE BEATEN ALEJANDRO UP EASILY AND YOU KNOW IT! IT SUCKED SEEING YOU GET ALL LOVEY DOVEY WITH THAT SLIMEY-" They stopped talking. Apparently it was better to talk in turns. Noah chuckled. "How about you first?" Eva and Cody looked at each other before Eva started talking.

"Listen, little guy, this whole thing was very clever and I'm very much enjoying the fact that Alejandro is probably gonna be voted off now, but why didn't you tell me? I could've beaten Alejandro up, which would have him leaving the show as well. Remember Geoff?" "That would obviously have you thrown off the show as well." Noah said with his eyebrow... really just like usual. "Taking one for the team." Eva shrugged. Cody then sat down next to where Noah had sat down. "Listen, Noah. Eva told me." Noah's eyes shot up to glare at Eva. "I had to." Cody grabbed Noah's hand. "Why didn't you tell me?" For once, Noah was speechless. "Maybe if you had told me, it wouldn't have hurt so much to see you kiss Alejandro." Noah's eyes widened to the point where they nearly popped out. Cody smiled. "I seriously wanted to punch that guy." Noah snapped back to reality and chuckled. "Hey, you floored Duncan once. Go ahead, I say." The three laughed.

"So, we were kinda hoping you'd let us back into your alliance." Noah burst out laughing. "Really? I came here to beg you to let me back in." Cody and Eva looked at each other. "That can be arranged." Cody said, smiling. "But we always sorta figured you were the leader of all of this." Eva said. Noah thought about that for a second before looking up at Eva. "Actually, I thought you were." Eva took a step back. "Me? No way!" Noah nodded. "You were the fearless heroine who could punch anyone in our way out. That's how I saw it. I thought I was the cruel, heartless, but lovable lancer type." Cody tilted his head. "What would I be, then?" Noah turned towards him. "The chick." Cody gasped. "No way, dude! I am not a chick!" Noah frowned. "Never call me dude again. Ever."

* * *

"So!" Chris grinned at the campers. "Today was very fun. Seeing you all slimed. Chef said he had fun as well." Most of the campers rolled their eyes.

"But one of you still has to be voted off. And God knows you people hold a grudge."

"So, the first to be voted off..." Chris was interrupted by Bridgette and Courtney coming out of the bushes, walking over to the seats and sitting down with a defeated thud.

"What the hell have you been doing?" Chris seemed more than a little annoyed by the interruption. Bridgette sighed and refused to say anything.

"We saw pawprints and thought it could have been Bruno." Courtney piped up. "Turned out to just be that dumb cave bear. He got pretty pissed that we followed him, so we had to outrun him. We missed the votes, didn't we?" "Well, Chef is still in the kitchen. If you run over now..." The two walked over to the lodge. "Why are they allowed to vote in the kitchen?" Duncan asked. "Because it's faster that way, mohawk." Chris answered, glaring at him. The campers sat in silence as Courtney and Bridgette voted. "So..." Chris said, shuffling around awkwardly.

The girls came back and sat down. A few moments after that, Chef ran over and whispered something into Chris's ear. "Ew, spit!" Chris cleaned his face and shoved Chef away.

"So, anyway..." Chris cleared his throat.

"Of course, Noah is invincible, so here you go... Oh, wait, guess what I got!" Chris pulled out a slingshot. "Uh, what?" Gwen commented. Chris launched the marshmallow at Noah, making it bounce off his head. Noah blinked as the other campers laughed.

"Sierra, you're safe as well." Sierra squealed and Cody sighed as Chris shot her marshmallow. She caught it with her mouth and then continued to chew it with her mouth open.

"Eva! You are safe." He shot a marshmallow at Eva, who caught it and squashed it with her hand.

"Courtney and Bridgette, you are safe." The two high fived each other before getting hit in the face with the marshmallows they didn't catch.

"Gwen, you're safe as well! Jeesh, and I thought all girls hated each other." Gwen raised her eyebrows as she caught her marshmallow.

"Katie! You're safe. Why, I can't figure out for the life of me." Katie frowned, right before the marshmallow hit her in the face.

"I love this thing. Cody and Trent, you are also safe, although you did get a vote." Cody and Trent caught their marshmallows, glaring at Alejandro and Duncan respectively.

"That leaves the three of you. Really wasn't a surprise." Duncan glared at Chris, while Heather huffed and stuck her nose up into the air. Alejandro barely paid attention.

"Each of you have reason to be voted off. Alejandro, people are still pissed off over Season 3, not to mention your jackassery this season. Duncan, a lot of people saw you destroy Trent's guitar. Low move, dude." Duncan got up, but Gwen pulled him back down. "And Heather? ...No one likes you."

"But somehow, you're safe anyway..." Heather gasped and caught the marshmallow, grinning like an idiot.

"That just leaves the two of you. Both of you are bastards to the highest degree." "Coming from you." Duncan retorted. "YEAH YEAH. WE ALREADY DID THAT JOKE LAST TIME."

"And every time the asshole who says that to me is safe. Congratulations, Duncan. Crazy bastard."

* * *

[I vote for Heather. I really wish I could vote for Noah, but I just can't.] - Alejandro

[Do you even have to ask? Alejandro, Alejandro, Alejandro!] - Bridgette

[I would vote for Sierra like I will until the end of time, but I'll vote for Alejandro because oh wow does he deserve it.] - Cody

[Well, Alejandro is still not invincible, and Noah's awesome moment just wouldn't do without him getting voted off...] - Courtney

[That goddamn bastard Trent is taking everything away from me! I will cut him down!] - Duncan (Relax, dude...)

[Wow, am I glad Alejandro's going down. Too bad all of his bones are still intact.] - Eva

[Heather. I really don't care about Alejandro at this point, and I can't believe she keeps getting off the hook so easily.] - Gwen

[Oh my god, this is perfect! Perfect! No more restraining order, Alejandro is as good as doomed... I am voting for Alejandro, just to be clear. Very clear.] - Heather

[UGH DUNCAN IS SO MEAN I AM SO VOTING FOR HIM AND ALEJANDRO AND NOAH AND HEATHER AND EVERYONE] - Katie (We're just gonna count that as Duncan)

[Well, it was all worth it in the end. See you in hell, Alejandro.] - Noah

[I vote for... I can do this... I VOTE FOR CODY! OH GOD, WHY DID I DO THAT?] - Sierra

[HE DESTROYED MY GUITAR! HE IS SO GOING DOWN!] - Trent (He didn't say anything else, he just growled. We're guessing Duncan)

* * *

Alejandro walked onto the Dock of Shame. He really wasn't even surprised no one went to follow him. He turned around to witness the group he tried to eliminate one by one so hard. Heather stood in front of the rest of the group, sticking her tongue out when she noticed he had turned around. Gwen was talking to Duncan, arguing it seemed. Trent smirked behind them as Duncan was screwing up his relationship. Bridgette glared at Alejandro while listening to Courtney, who was yapping her head off about whatever. Katie seemed resolute, but also close to tears. At least he managed that. Sierra was grinning as she slowly came closer to Cody, until Eva got in front of him. And then he made eye contact with Noah, who just looked away and walked off a second later, followed by most of the campers.

He turned back around and got on the not so sturdy boat. Maybe he shouldn't have been the villain. Maybe he shouldn't have focused on ruining his fellow campers. Maybe he would have made it to the end, a lot happier as well, if he hadn't been a smart player. He thought of Owen for a second. ...Maybe it was just better to be an idiot.

Noah walked over to his bed, preparing for Cody, who was gonna move into his bunk. Poor Cody was right in the middle of Trent and Duncan arguing every night. He needs some sleep. Noah opened a drawer and his eyes widened. Next to one of his books and a picture of his family was Alejandro's necklace. That idiot must have forgotten it! Noah went into deep thought mode. Should he throw it away? Should he bury it somewhere? Throw it into the sea? Give it to Chris? Heather? After thinking for a while, he sighed and closed the drawer, right as Cody walked in with his insane amount of stuff.

"Well, that wraps this episode up! Alejandro is voted off at last, and that means I am now once again the hottest person on the island. We're down to eleven people, and many questions still stand unanswered. Is Eva gonna beat Sierra up? Is Cody gonna beat Sierra up? Is Noah gonna beat Sierra up? Is Heather gonna beat Sierra up? See all that and more on the next episode of Total. Drama. TOURNAMENT!"

* * *

"I can't believe what has been done to me on that island. I was a victim of love. I am so ashamed of myself. ...I hope Noah keeps my necklace, at least."

"Ugh! Is that slime coming out of the cabin? And... an eel? Not funny, guys! Ah, mierda!"

* * *

Oops fake feels lol.

So yeah, I finally finished a chapter. I know, took a while. So Al is out, which took me way too long. I hate this guy, why was that so hard?

I'm gonna be busy for a while, and I'm probably also not gonna be very productive, so I dunno when the next chapter is.

Please tell me you still remember this! Review pretty pretty please! ..._Pleeeaaassseee. _


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